Dream Analysts Would Have a Field Day with Me

I don't remember most of my dreams but when I do they're sprawling epics to make the 70s cinematic masters proud. The casts are huge and are clearly following directorial cues. There's sometimes a score. The plots are complex with twists and turns aplenty - often ones I don't see coming. I've even had dreams that continued over multiple nights, miniseries-style.

Did I mention they're almost always fairly bleak? Take last night for example. It focused on a multi-day court case about a plane crash in which I was (presumably) the only survivor. I was testifying that not one but two different people had noticed instrument failure before takeoff and a corrupt judge who was somehow involved was trying to block me getting to the stand.

You folks ever die in your dreams? I have. Regularly. Sometimes the dreams keep going after I'm cold - sometimes after I'm buried. I half expect to fall asleep tonight to a desperate flight from murderous thugs intent on suppressing my testimony, perhaps to meet yet another bloody demise.

Yeah, I imagine that if the dream analysts ever did got hold of me, they'd fire up the tour buses and call their agents. It would be fun - until they caught the dream plague and we started doing retrogore opii crossovers in 3D or something. A thousand years from now the next sapient race would stumble across Earth, find billions of skeletons trapped in fetal positions, and - in a grand gesture of universal kindness - torch the globe from space.