Author Topic: Bad Allomancy-related jokes  (Read 2490 times)

royishere

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Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« on: March 27, 2013, 05:27:57 AM »
So, one of the NPCs I'm planning on introducing next session is a big ham. He makes awful, stupid, so-bad-they're-funny jokes constantly. I've been thinking up some jokes that only make sense in the Final Empire, but I was thinking I'd get the best if I asked you guys to give it your best shot (and remember, the more cringe-inducing, the better).

Here are a couple of examples that I thought up--

Why did the mistwraith eat the lurcher?
--He needed more iron in his diet.

Did you hear the one about the zinc Misting?
--It's a riot.

Knock-knock
--Who's there?
The Lord Ruler.
--The Lord Ruler who?
...Seriously?

lord Claincy Ffnord

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2013, 09:51:32 PM »
Feel free to Steel this pun from me.
I think I need to Iron out some issues with this plan. (best if used in a situation where iron-pulling could be of use)
A tineye walks into a bar, you would have thought he would have seen it.
Have you heard the tale about the coinshot? Better steel yourself then.

That's all I've got for now, good luck =)

Herowannabe

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2013, 11:41:01 AM »
What do you call a Prelan with no sense of balance?
- a Wobbligator.

tecslicer

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2013, 06:54:16 PM »
There once was a smoker hermit that lived on the side of an ashmount. HE never wore any shoes so his feet were like leather. The high concentration of ash effected his health and made his bones brittle. To help his health he ate garlick and onions with every meal.
All this made him a Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis.

carisbourg

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2013, 08:20:43 PM »
Not a joke, just a saying:

Atium will not always get you good mistborns, but good mistborns will always get you atium.

Tellingdwar

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2013, 10:48:31 AM »
One of my players came up with a concept for a bar that I used in-game:

The Coin Shot - The drinks are cheap, served fast, and they can probably kill you.

I added the twist that the drinks are served in sealed metal containers that are actually shot at the patrons :)

tecslicer

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2013, 08:40:58 PM »
drinks are served in sealed metal containers that are actually shot at the patrons :)

So.?.?.? shaken? not stirred?

lord Claincy Ffnord

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2013, 07:00:01 AM »
One of my players came up with a concept for a bar that I used in-game:

The Coin Shot - The drinks are cheap, served fast, and they can probably kill you.

I added the twist that the drinks are served in sealed metal containers that are actually shot at the patrons :)

Sounds a bit "unorthodox".
Someone might tell the ministry.

Kadrok

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2013, 07:12:36 PM »
I'd never dated a smoker before, I was always afraid of getting cancer, and hanging out with her wasn't exactly a riot... but her voice was soothing and I wondered if she was the one I was seeking. I pulled her body to me, a motion which may have been a bit thuggish, and when she pushed back I let her go and watched her leave through the cloud of tincel as she disrupted the christmas tree we stood by. I called out, but I guess it didn't take an oracle to see we weren't to be, and as I slid away over the ice my heart pulsed inside my chest as I looked into my past and realised that I always messed it up like this, desperately drilling into their hearts like an auger, hoping to make a connection. I felt insignificant, like a gnat, and was heading home when a burst of colour in the sky leeched the melancholy right out of me; Fireworks! Taking the proferred can of beer, I joined the party, resolving snap out of it and burn some time. Afterall, not everyone can see a sight as beautiful as this.
Interesting discussion, but I think rule of cool could reasonably trump mere science in a game about magic powers.   :P

Kadrok

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2013, 03:38:28 PM »
Okay, so maybe not so much a joke... but dammit, getting all the divisions right and aligned by sentence is at least kind of cool, right?
Interesting discussion, but I think rule of cool could reasonably trump mere science in a game about magic powers.   :P

Gargoyle

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2014, 07:08:54 PM »
What's black, white, and red all over?
Spoiler: show
A parshman
Spoiler: show
Ok, not Allomancy, but hey, I just finished WoR a few days ago.

mynameistopher

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2014, 02:33:04 PM »
Who pewtered?

mynameistopher

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2014, 02:39:40 PM »
I'm a German rioter and I will change your mind, I zinc.

mynameistopher

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2014, 02:41:55 PM »
I'm a lurcher, but I'm not a thief.  Iron my money, thank you!

KJalyn

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Re: Bad Allomancy-related jokes
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2014, 04:59:13 PM »
Allomantic Pick-up Lines: ;)
Are you a Lurcher? Because I feel like I'm being Pulled to you.
Are you a Tineye? Because you're the only ten I see.

Can someone think of any more?

Bonus:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steel.
Steel who?
Steel keeping me waiting? Open the door!