Narrating Question: Romance

[Herowannabe]

Similar to my last question, I'm curious how all you Narrators out there handle romance with your players' characters (with each other, or with NPCs)?

All of the Mistborn books have at least a little bit of Romance mixed in somewhere, and I feel that used in the right way, with the right players/characters, I think it can really enhance the story. It definitely depends on the players though. I find that most of the guys I roleplay with wouldn't have any interest in a romantic aspect to our adventures, but there are one or two people in particular I've played with who do like it.

There's only one time I've ever really worked a romance into roleplaying, and I don't feel like I did it especially well. There was really only one romantic interest, and the only tension surrounding the situation involved figuring out whether or not she was on the player's side. It also didn't last very long before all that "tension" was resolved- only one or two gaming sessions if I recall. All in all a pretty "flat" story. I could have handled it much better I'm sure.

I'm also curious if anyone out there has ever seen romance successfully pulled off in a roleplaying setting- what happened? and what made it successful?

[uncas]

That's a great question. I'd love to hear more about this topic as well. Player involved romance seems really hard to me.

As a player, I almost always resist suggestions from GMs that romance might be possible. I think that's my personality coming through, to resist anyone telling or hinting to me that I should be with someone in particular. Also, my distrust of GMs makes me suspicious of blatant matchmaking attempts. I mean, what better way to screw with a crew/party than to have a member fall in love with an NPC that can later backstab them? 

As a Narrator, I don't know how to introduce romantic possibilities in a manner that is subtle enough to not be aggressive, but still gets the idea across. As a result I tend to avoid it. The only romance I have dealt with as Narrator involved a PC noblewoman who was engaged to an NPC nobleman against her will at the beginning of the campaign. It was the player's idea. She was stringing him along in order to assuage the family pressures until she could figure out a way to cancel the engagement. Not particularly romantic, if you ask me, but there you go.

[Dreamstreamer]

A few observations:

First, I think you nailed an important point - you have to have the right players. I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that you have player buy-in for (at least a little) romance in the game.

So, what is the goal? How far do you want this romance to go? Is it just a side distraction to flavor "downtime?" Will it have a direct impact on the main plot? Will it be "real" for both parties or is one or both of them just doing it to game the system/create an advantage?

Mechanically, you could treat it as an extended contest. This would work for those times when there should be some resistance, similar to seduction. The difference, I guess, would be in the PC's intentions.

Alternately, the player could just narrate the relationship.

Either way, you might want some help in coming up with descriptions and ways to narrate the results. Here are some ideas:
- Introductions -
How do these two potential lovebirds first meet? Is it love at first sight? Serendipity? Perhaps rivalry? What is the initial attraction? Physical? Mental? Social? How this first encounter goes will likely color the rest of the relationship. Don't forget that feelings might not be mutual. Also, it might not be the PC who is the suitor. What happens when the PC is the object of devoted affection? How do they first respond to the advances? Again, depending on the players, roleplaying out the flirtations might be fun. If they are comfortable with you narrating how they feel, go ahead and describe what's happening to their character. For example, maybe it suddenly becomes quite warm, or their face flushes, or they feel an exhilaration at the small smile flashed their way? Other "symptoms" might be the momentary distraction of a long gaze, sweat, perhaps even a bit of swooning.

- Courtship -
The pace, of course, will vary based on how quickly the participants want things to move. I'm a bigger fan of a slower buildup and letting things grow steadily over time. What are some ideas for this particular stage? This will likely depend on formalities. Is there a social gap between the two parties? Will the relationship need to be kept secret? If so, what are the repercussions if the secret becomes known?

If both parties are nobility, will they make a public appearance together? Perhaps one of them (for whatever reason) doesn't like the publicity? Maybe the characters just want to spend time with each other? How do they get away from prying eyes? This can lead to a number of (mis)adventures trying to dodge overly-protective parents (though they may have a perfectly good reason for wanting to keep the lovebirds separate), obligators that want the ministry's cut of any negotiations, deals, or unions, whether authorized by the heads of households or not, and enemies of the house(s) looking to gain some leverage for future transactions.

Its even worse for the other classes of people! (Granted, that is a rather subjective statement.) The terris people are extremely limited in their relationships, as they are always under the watchful eyes and scrutiny of the Steel Ministry. Skaa have it a little better, but have to worry about displeasing their masters, such as from spending too much time near their significant other. And cross-class trysts? Scandalous! The male nobility is expected to execute any skaa women taken for pleasure. Failure to do so means the noble's death, in addition to any skaa that may have been involved. Can the couple pretend that the woman is nobility? Maybe, but how long will that last before the truth is out? What about a reversal of genders? That may be a relatively safe relationship, until another suitor decides to just kill the skaa lover out of spite, that is.

Wow, so many happy combinations...

Now, you also suggest that tension is important. I agree that it makes for good drama. What are some good uses of tension in romance? Sure, there is the tension behind whether both parties share equal interest. "Does s/he love me?" I think that can only take romance so far before it has to be resolved. Romance and courtship can continue, but I don't think you'll want that particular tension to remain unresolved for too long. Other tensions might include: Will somebody else find out? Does the relationship put either party at risk? How about choosing between two equally viable suitors? Or a love triangle? I think things can get really sticky here, which makes for great dramatic tension. Another option could be a choice between accomplishing a practical goal for the crew or meeting a desire/need of a beloved. Maybe there is a crew member that doesn't trust this person, regardless of the loyalty previously shown? I see lots of options.

What kinds of romantic bait would you dangle in front of your players? Or, alternately, that you would like to see dangled in front of your character?

[Herowannabe]

Thanks for your input, Uncas and Dreamsteamer, that's exactly the kind of input I was hoping for.

As I read your posts and think about it some more, it seems like going with two potential suitors, each seemingly equally appealing, might be a good way to go. That's really one of the best parts about books like Twilight and Hunger Games (I can't believe I just said that) especially when compared to your typical romantic story. Most romantic stories have 1 female lead and 1 male lead and you know they're going to end up together somehow, it's just a matter of how. But a lot of the drama in T and HG revolves around WHICH suitor the lead character will pick.

Plus, it gives you the chance to secretly make ONE of the romantic interests a back-stabbing manipulator and then let the player try to figure out which option is the right one. 

[uncas]

As I read your posts and think about it some more, it seems like going with two potential suitors, each seemingly equally appealing, might be a good way to go. That's really one of the best parts about books like Twilight and Hunger Games (I can't believe I just said that) especially when compared to your typical romantic story. Most romantic stories have 1 female lead and 1 male lead and you know they're going to end up together somehow, it's just a matter of how. But a lot of the drama in T and HG revolves around WHICH suitor the lead character will pick.

Plus, it gives you the chance to secretly make ONE of the romantic interests a back-stabbing manipulator and then let the player try to figure out which option is the right one. 

Good points!  Sounds like fun!

[Tellingdwar]

One of my players has had a romantic interest in almost every game he's played. Mostly because he likes making the GM feel uncomfortable. For my campaign, he's playing Varrus, a Pewterarm Skaa from a mining town, and I decided to take a new spin on it.

The setup: the NPC Tineye that the crew hired challenged Varrus to a fight. They each inflict a Serious Burden on the other, and over the next Long Breather they become the best of friends while healing up. Originally I was going to go with this instead of a romantic interest: he has a character to bro out with instead.

Then I came up with a twist: when the Crew revisits his old mining town, Varrus's old sweetheart has snapped into a Pewterarm as well (randomly selected by rolling dice) and The crew brings her along. But she's not sure how she feels about Varrus since he left, and now there's this intriguing Tineye...

Wouldn't have thought of the twist without this thread. Thanks guys!