PEACH - Enter the Grave

[Leeham]

here is a spell for my upcoming Brutal Legend one-shot

Enter the Grave
Level:
Casting Time: 1 half action
Distance: 20ft?
Area: 10x5x10 pit
Duration: ?
Saving Throw: Reflex negates
Effect: This spell digs a 10x5x10 foot pit, complete with granite tombstone on the short side closest to the caster. The tombstone is 3 feet tall, and 2 feet wide, and can be used for cover.


Now, obviously this is very rough, as a) I'm fairly new to the system and b)this is my first time writing a spell. I have no idea what level this spell should be (though ideally i'd like it to be 0-1 so it can see some actual use.) Please, oh masters of the Craft that is Fantasy, help me make this spell a reality!

[Gentry]

Why are you calling it Polar Ray?

[Addax]

Off hand I'd wager it was a typo, it can be nerve-wracking making a first time you post on a new message board. Welcome to the fold Leeham!

[Leeham]

Fixed that glaring error. And thank you, it's great to be here!

[Addax]

My off the cuff response is not to make it a 0 level spell since that would let you spam some serious terrain altering spellwork.  Although, if this is strictly a one-shot game at a lower level I wouldn't sweat it too much and just have fun with it as a 1st or 2nd level spell.

Don't sweat the errors, everyone is pretty friendly here so if they point something like that out they're just trying to be helpful!

[Gentry]

Do you want people to be able to fall into this pit? Or is the tombstone-cover more of the point?

I ask because magically creating a hole might create more questions than you really care to answer. What happens to people in the pit when the spell expires? What if they're halfway out when the spell expires? Is the pit an actual hole in the ground? What if the ground beneath isn't ten feet thick? If I cast this spell while on the roof of a building, can I jump through the hole into the building? 

I like the coolness of the image of "whoomp, there's a grave--be intimidated!". I wonder, though, if this is more of a Level 1 version of Wall of Stone, creating an itty-bitty wall that's shaped like a gravestone.

[Leeham]

Well, I'm making this for one of my players, and what he really wants it for is for people to fall in. This is beginning to seem really problematic...

[Bill Whitmore]

It' doable, but the more problems you foresee and answer, the smoother it will run at the table.

The Distance you are probably looking for is "Close", which is up to 50ft.

If someone was in the hole when the spell expired I would probably have them expelled from the hole, described as it filling in from the bottom up.  Since the fall is only 10, has a reflex save AND you can use Acrobatics to reduce falling damage, I would probably keep this as a first level spell.

If you made it so that the Spell could be dismissed and whoever was in the grave could be trapped inside, I would definitely add the Terminal tag to the spell and bump the level to at least 2, maybe 3.  I'd also err on the side of assigning a higher level and backing it down a level later if it is underpowered.  Reduce a spell level from 3 to 2 and your player will be happy.  Try to raise it from 2 to 3 and they won't be.

[Sletchman]

My take:

Enter the Grave
Level: 2 Creation
Casting Time: 1 Full Action
Distance: Close
Duration: Instant
Effect: Upon casting, this spell creates a full size grave at the target location.  The grave is a 10x5x10 foot pit, complete with 3ft by 2ft granite tombstone (placed at a short side of the casters choosing).  If any of the target squares is occupied when the grave is created, the occupant(s) may make a reflex save to avoid falling into the grave, suffering 1d6 subdual damage on a failure.  This spell may only be targetted at a section of earth with enough soil depth to accomodate the entire grave, in the event that the soil isn't deep enough (underground tunnels, pipes etc) the spell automatically fails.

Bonus Spell (because the idea grabbed me)

Baleful Entombing
Level: 5 Affliction
Casting Time: 1 Full Action
Distance: Close
Duration: Instant
Save: Reflex Negates (Terminal)
Effect: You cause a fist made of the earth to reach up and drag the target underground, entombing them 6 feet underground.  Where they were previously standing a 3ft tall, 2ft wide granite tombstone is errected.  On a failed save the target immediately takes 1d6 subdual damage per 4 caster levels (maximum 5d6) and must hold their breath or start suffocating immediately.  This spell may only be targetted at a section of earth with at least 10 feet of soil depth, in the event that the soil isn't deep enough (underground tunnels, pipes etc) the spell automatically fails.


Should be somewhat balanced, I hope...

Some rationale (if anyone is curious): Changing the spell to Instant solves any and all expiration questions.  Also has exact results of someone falling into the hole.  Rules for casting location requirements stops it being used as the tunnel-o-matic-8000 / weirdness from casting locations (dungeons, especially secret ones in particular).  Removed note about tombstone as cover as it seems like it's an obvious fact - it's a big chunk of granite, of course it can be used as cover.  The second one came to me because the idea of magically burying someone alive tickles the heck out of me (you'll note that it's of a discipline that the Reaper can utilise - not a coincidence).  I'm not totally satisified with Enter the Grave as a Creation spell, Compass is probably just as well fitting, but it could go either way (remember that Disintegrate is Compass - and this is a very limited targetting Disintegrate effect with flavour text).  They're a little wordy, so if anyone has ideas for reducing the verbage while keeping the effect intact I'm all ears.  I also have an idea for a third spell based on the theme if anyones interested - might have to change them to "Enter the Grave I-III" though - for consistancies sake.

Hope you like Leeham - and welcome to the fold.

EDIT: Also, what does "PEACH" mean?

[Jake]

Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Leeham. A DnD convert judging from the acronym, which was widely used on wizards.com.

[Gentry]

I wondered what Peach meant. What does it mean?

[tfwfh]

PEACH:

Please Evaluate And Critique Honestly

[Leeham]

Thanks for the replies guys! And yes, I am a recent convert to the glory of Fantasy Craft!

[Sletchman]

No feedback from anyone?  Man, I didn't think they were that terrible. 

[tfwfh]

Considering how serious business suffocation is, i'm a little unsure it's appropriate as a level 5 spell.  It would take a group of 4 medium characters at least 1 minute, and maybe 2 in order to dig them out  (according to p154).  After 1 minute the entombed character would be suffocating and possibly already dead.  After 2 minutes, they would definitely be dead.  And that's assuming they were able to start digging immediately and didn't have a fight they needed to finish first.