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Gatac
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« Reply #30 on: June 16, 2007, 01:39:07 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Forthcoming, but I need to settle a few background details first.

---

Chapter 14 is done. This took a bit, and I apologize. The next chapter has, however, been suitably prepped for and should be done much quicker than this one.

Rowena's character sheet has a crossroads subplot related to defeating a Child of Eve. I figured, twice the Eva clones, twice the fun!

References'r'us! Mark killed a Gray clone WAY back when in the original Ultimates Side Story. "The rest is sharks" is somewhat more recent, from Childhood's End. You've seen Rowena's kicking & acrobatics-heavy fighting style before. Here, she gets to strut her stuff a bit. The Children may be stronger and faster, but Rowena is *agile*.

Coming up next chapter: Rowena, Freyr and Freyja throw down in an abandoned factory! Who will win? Well, here's a hint: Someone who isn't scheduled to bite it in Ragnarok.

EDIT: Music is Chemical Brothers - Out of Control.
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Gatac
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« Reply #31 on: June 16, 2007, 01:39:43 AM »

Originally posted by Valentina

Keen stuff, ready for more as always.
You're the man, Gatac. Less Drama, More Bullets is consistently awesome in both scope and execution.
[/much deserved validation]
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Gatac
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« Reply #32 on: June 16, 2007, 01:40:12 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

It's loud! It's big! It's brutal! It's Chapter 15 rocking the set and violating local noise level ordinances!

*cough*

Once again, Rowena puts her talents to work, showing better-equipped, superpowered Hand of Glory killer children how it's done. And she insults them in Portuguese, because she's culturally sensitive and that's just how she rolls.

How crazy does a story have to get if this isn't the biggest action scene? Don't think I've forgotten about Krueger, Algernon and Trinity - they get to strut their stuff next.

Freyja's insult means "You unclean part of the female reproductive anatomy!"; Rowena returns the favor by calling Freyja's mother a woman of ill repute, which I guess is one of the few cases where such an insult is actually warranted. Hard-hitting, I'm sure.

Try to guess which 1.0 Gadget I think is the most ridiculous.

Music is Rammstein - Feuer Frei.

Coming up next (but probably not as fast as this one): Team Bravo cuts their way through the HoG base to get to the missiles! What's down in the submarine pen? What are the vengeful ghosts up to? How many enemy soldiers can I name before I say "Screw it." and call them all minions?
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Gatac
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« Reply #33 on: June 16, 2007, 01:40:53 AM »

Originally posted by Equinox

Heh. Having issues with the dummy line, eh?

One of the things I like about your writing style is the way you handle the competence of improvisation. See, 'Nox is all about planning and strategy (in fact, its his core defining characteristic - he does not improvise well, which is why he plans) and while that's fun to write, it's refreshing to see a character who knows so little of what's actually happening and yet manages to adapt to the circumstances.

You've picked up on one of the interesting points of Rowena's combat style: she has a LOT of options in terms of killin' folks. There is no disarming her.

Oh, and you've hit on something I've never really thought of until now: I don't know that Grey and Equinox have ever met. Speaking of Grey, I'm waiting for that particular hammer to fall. Should be fun.
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« Reply #34 on: June 16, 2007, 01:41:24 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

I'm not sure if Equinox and Grey should ever meet. I feel like there's an Ivory Tower-esque theme to the two playing the Biggest Game Ever against each other, yet never physically facing each other, using Lieutenants and pawns to wage their shadow war. For all of Equinox's considerable competence in the field, I think it's a nice subtle bit of storytelling that he doesn't place himself in circumstances he can't control, or faces enemies when he's not damn sure that he knows how to deal with them.

If you don't mind me saying so, putting him down into the dirty and gritty of it would make him too human - and too blindly heroic. There's other people who shed blood for the cause, but Brandon Logan knows what an asset he is to the cause. An asset that cannot be significantly endangered. Grey's in the field because he's essentially gone Cylon, but 'nox can't do that.

How many risks are you willing to take if you are the best hope for humanity?
How many people are you willing to send to their deaths because it's all part of the best plan you could come up with?
Are you part of the solution (as I'm sure Equinox hopes) ? Or are your ascension to power, your clique of badasses and your many manipulations all part of the problem?

That is, to me, far more interesting than how well he can fight with his gadgetized cane.
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« Reply #35 on: June 16, 2007, 01:41:50 AM »

Originally posted by Equinox

If they ever do meet, it probably won't be in the context of a mission - more an accidental meeting of the minds. Even still, that's unlikely, as they tend to run in different circles, and you're right that Equinox is not heroic - he's far too pragmatic for that kind of nonsense.
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« Reply #36 on: June 16, 2007, 01:42:17 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Pragmatic, heh. The next story of mine will dig down into some of the characters and hopefully get to the bit that makes them risk their life for what is, essentially, an entire lifetime's worth of horrible, criminal activities. Well, except Mark, who was a hardcore criminal even before getting recruited. And even that needs some illumination - what makes a boy decide to become a hitman, and in turn, what makes that (very successful) hitman realign his personal philosophy towards a twisted sort of philantropy?
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« Reply #37 on: June 16, 2007, 01:42:38 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Working on Chapter 16, but it's slow. Arranging a big boom in a satisfactory way is taking much longer than I thought, and college's been a bit crazy the last few weeks.

I'll try to have *something* up by weekend.
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« Reply #38 on: June 16, 2007, 01:43:18 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Chapter 16 is here! It is entitled Benzin, after the Rammstein song.

Willst du dich von etwas trennen
Dann musst du es verbrennen!
Willst du es nie wiederseh'n
Lass es schwimmen - in Benzin!

(If you want to get rid of something
You have to burn it!
If you never want to see it again
Let it swim - in gasoline!)

I like to think that the presence of a Typhoon-class submarine shouldn't come as a big surprise, but then again I'm not sure if my readership obsessively googles every piece of technology I mention. If you do, you had your first clue way back when Dr. Krueger did his sales pitch to Rowena.

The mass fight with Algernon was exceedingly difficult to write - it's what held this thing up for more than a week. (Well, not just that, but it was the biggest missing piece.) In the end, I just gave up on choreographing it. The individual moves don't matter - he's moving so fast it all blurs together, Nightcrawler-in-X-Men-2 style. Why? Because Algernon is a badass, and I will fight anyone who disagrees.

(Yes, I know, eventually all the badass guys in trenchcoats kinda start blending together. I'm working on it, honest.)

The IFF part? You have just seen the bloodiest demonstration of bad security system implementation ever put to paper. Move over, Bruce Schneier!

I don't think the strawberry koan was intended to be used like this, but whatever works. And what is Algernon doing with the Gray Blades? I believe if you scramble this sentence just right, it spells "power vacuum". (Might have to translate it to Kiswhahili first, though.)

Suffice to say, do not be anywhere near a large gasoline tank when it goes off. City blocks have been levelled that way.

Next up: Mark and Rowena fight against...hunger. Seriously, they eat something. And talk. Riveting!
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« Reply #39 on: June 16, 2007, 01:43:59 AM »

Originally posted by Equinox

Benzin = gasoline. Hrm, didn't realize. What part of Germany are you from?

I like the Algernon=nightcrawler take on the fringe. Not the rules as written, per se, but it is an obvious result in retrospect (and one that I'm digging oh so much). I'm guessing Algernon has the Peculiar Dodge feat, eh?

Okay, I'm about to show my ignorance (and likely feel foolish in the process) but who's Theseus? I feel like I should know this.
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« Reply #40 on: June 16, 2007, 01:44:30 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Magdeburg. We're on Google Earth, ya know? Cheesy

Open your SFA Core and take a look under the Russian Confederacy.
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« Reply #41 on: June 16, 2007, 01:44:50 AM »

Originally posted by Equinox

And there's that feeling of foolishness, right on cue Smiley .
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« Reply #42 on: June 16, 2007, 01:45:35 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Here's Chapter 17, finally, as Just 'cause meanders towards its conclusion.

So Mark does have a past - and it's a HKBO. Raise your hand if you're surprised. You'll be seeing this again at some point. Add another dangling plot thread to our collection.

The music is The Spooks - Things I've Seen.

You won't believe the things I've seen
Far beyond your wildest dreams
I've seen chaos and order reign supreme
I've seen the beauty of the universe
So peaceful and serene
In seconds turn to violence and screams

Again, extensive rewrites were necessary to bring this in line with what I wanted. The original had Mark spill his guts instead of the flashback, which looked angsty, spoiled the whole story and was clunky to boot. I feel it's better that we know these things without bothering Rowena with it.

Past Trivia Note: You know the flashback is way in the past because Mark is still using a Colt 1911. As a minimal spoiler, his weapon progression was 1911->Hi-Power->USP.

Future Trivia Note: The USP era is drawing to a close.
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« Reply #43 on: June 16, 2007, 01:46:01 AM »

Originally posted by Equinox

Inquiring minds want to know: was that really Grey or was it a clone?

The Old Wolf is human, and more human than he lets on. Here's hoping the Logan kid doesn't dissapoint.
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« Reply #44 on: June 16, 2007, 01:47:12 AM »

Originally posted by Gatac

Posted By Equinox on 05/09/2007 1:23 PM
Inquiring minds want to know: was that really Grey or was it a clone?


What's the difference? [Big Grin]

Posted By Equinox on 05/09/2007 1:23 PM
The Old Wolf is human, and more human than he lets on. Here's hoping the Logan kid doesn't dissapoint.


Being old doesn't always correlate with age.

I think the guiding idea with Mark is that of fading scars. There are some things in his past that he's gotten over - and others that bubble up occasionally for no damn reason. Wounds heal, but the scars stay. Incidentally, the second big theme I've been trying to build is being "practical" versus having ideals. It's a good thing that the one character who's basically built his skillset around not playing by the rules is also the only one with any sort of solid faith. He sees that same combination of moral reflection paired with a "whatever it takes" fighting approach in Rowena, which I guess is why the two bond so well.

And being inspired by the Song of Roland to take on the codename "Paladin" does tell you a bit about his priorities.
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