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Author Topic: (Ultimates) Two Guns  (Read 16275 times)
Gatac
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« Reply #30 on: January 25, 2008, 05:39:06 PM »

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Chapter 17 comes with delays and possibly some spelling errors I overlooked in its vastness, but hey, didn't you hear? That's okay. Everything is broken. (Here's a live version from 1989. I know, the song wasn't technically released until a couple years later, but cut me some slack, okay?)

Broken hands on broken ploughs,
Broken treaties, broken vows,
Broken pipes, broken tools,
People bending broken rules.
Hound dog howling, bull frog croaking,
Everything is broken


I do hope this sheds some light at what happened to Boris, even if it is still qualified with being speculation. Honestly, I believe most of this could be inferred from previous chapters, but I gotta put my foot down here and say: that's as good as it gets. The characters just don't have any better intel, and part of their story is seeing what they're working with.

I shudder to say it, but hot chocolate may be a "theme" in my writings. Official warm comfort beverage of the Ultimatesverse!

At that point, the Ingues cartel is probably rather technologically advanced, not only procuring cell phones for its members but using them to guarantee that they're reachable. Of course, that requires people to actually carry their phones...which would be why they worked so hard to shrink those down from the first bricks.

Dollar is waaaaay too much fun to write. Horribly cliche, but fun.

After this massive dose of low-level schemeing and talking, it's time to inject some action into the story. Look forward to Chapter 18 - The Trooper soonish! (Yes, the Iron Maiden song. Watch it on YouTube here. You'll get it.)

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Gatac
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« Reply #31 on: February 13, 2008, 12:46:14 AM »

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Chapter 18. The Trooper. Iron fuckin' Maiden. What else do you want? Oh, right, you want some artfully chosen excerpt from the lyrics. Here you go.

We get so close, near enough to fight
When a Russian gets me in his sights
He pulls the trigger and I feel the blow
A burst of rounds take my horse below

And as I lay there gazing at the sky
My body’s numb and my throat is dry
And as I lay forgotten and alone
Without a tear I draw my parting groan


Aw, fuck it. You get some Charge of the Light Brigade, too.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.


This isn't just loud. It's a frickin' war fought in New York City. No matter how well Mark & co did (and they did well, after all they're still alive), they're royally fucked now. That kinda shit doesn't fly.

Oh, are we edging in on the off-hand comment from Present Past chapter 1? There's the Calico, at least, in a story of epic fail. To be fair, it got kind of a bad hand there.

No real technical commentary here, since pretty much all relevant info on the guns and such are already in there.

Actually, not much to say, period. Speaks for itself, really.

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Gatac
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« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2008, 09:57:19 PM »

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It's Chapter 19. What does that mean? Well, it's about time for the hammer to fall.

Oh ev'ry night and every day
A little piece of you is falling away
But lift your face the Western Way
Build your muscles as your body decays, yeah

Toe your line and play their game, yeah
Let the anesthetic cover it all
'til one day they call your name
You know it's time for the hammer to fall


Did I mention how much fun it is to write Dollar?

For those of you keeping score, Whitton knows Berkovitz is dead, and has known for a couple of days now.

As originally written, Kyla used to be addicted to XTC, but although that's an appropriate club drug for the era, crack felt more "hardcore" and fitting for the 80s.

Not a good night for Sharon, obviously.

Oh, and if you haven't done so already, please please PLEASE head over to the poll thread and vote for the next story. Two Guns is about 3/4ths done and I need some lead time to gear up for the next piece of writing.

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Gatac
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« Reply #33 on: March 08, 2008, 08:11:48 PM »

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It's Chapter 20. The experience has left me somewhat bruised. You see, I fought the law. And the law won.

Robbin' people with a six-gun
I fought the law, and the law won (x2)
I lost my girl and I lost my fun
I fought the law, and the law won (x2)

Killed my baby, felt so bad
Guess my race is run
Sweetest little woman that I ever had
I fought the law, and the law won
I fought the law, and the...


You thought I forgot about Karen Ayers, didn't you. You thought I'd leave this thing from waaaaaay back in the original Ultimates Side Story: Otherside hanging, didn't you. Well, think again!

Yes, she's also the mystery caller.

In conclusion, continuity!

We all know what series Mark is watching, don't we.

If you haven't voted already in the poll thread, please do so. I didn't know so many of you wanted to see Wayward Son, but rest assured, your voices were heard. We've got about...well, about six chapters left to go in this story.

Oh, and comments! Did you know that reading these chapters without commenting is like theft? You filthy thieves. Come on, do the right thing. Smiley

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Gatac
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« Reply #34 on: March 23, 2008, 01:43:03 AM »

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Chapter 21. Wherein we find ourselves hunting high and low. (A-ha!)

I'm hunting high and low
And now she's telling me
She's got to go away...

I'll always be hunting high and low
Hungry for you
Watch me tearing myself to pieces
Hunting high and low
High
There's no end to the lengths I'll go to
Oh, for you I'll be hunting high and low


I don't really have any smartass comments here. You know the drill.

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« Reply #35 on: April 02, 2008, 02:08:29 PM »

Sorry for the noob interruption here but, before I delve into 21 Chapters, what other info should I read first to understand what's going on?

Love fanfics, btw.  I admit a slight preference towards actual play reports only because, having played with the same group of people (more or less) for a very long time, it's interesting see how differently people play compared to us.

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"Dort, wo man Bücher verbrennt, verbrennt man am Ende auch Menschen." - Heinrich Heine

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river." - Nikita Kruschev
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« Reply #36 on: April 03, 2008, 04:05:54 PM »

Actually, you should be pretty good, since the whole story is chronologically the oldest in the Ultimates 'verse. You'll get more of the references if you've read the other stuff, but generally speaking there's no actual prior knowledge needed to follow the plot.

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« Reply #37 on: April 04, 2008, 04:52:03 PM »

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Chapter 22. This is a story. This is not America.

A little piece of you
The little peace in me
Will die (This is not a miracle)
For this is not America

Blossom fails to bloom
This season
Promise not to stare
Too long (This is not America)
For this is not the miracle

There was a time
A storm that blew so pure
For this could be the biggest sky
And I could have
The faintest idea


David Bowie, we salute you. Again. Incidentally, the next chapter will also see a repeat performance by an artist/group this story has featured before. Try to guess who for bonus points!

There's just something amazingly bleak about how close Coney Island and Little Odessa are. Like a one-stop shop of depressiveness in the winter of this story.

You might also note that this is where Mark and Sharon landed after they sunk Silvestro's yacht. Could this be planning?

Speaking of Silvestro, does the bastard continue to fuck with our heroes from beyond the grave?

Mark didn't go to Alfredo's funeral, I do believe we've been over that part.

Choices have been made.

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« Reply #38 on: April 04, 2008, 07:05:31 PM »

Thanks.  I read chapters 3 and 4 because I can't seem to figure out how to get 1 and 2 to display.  I'm thinking about printing it all our because my ageing eyes can't read text on a screen for lengthy amounts of time.  Also, it's mildly irritating to have to read a chapter top to bottom but then have to scroll up to the next chapter; though I still need a way to see chapters 1 and 2 (my assumption is that I've overlooked something glaringly obvious).

I've enjoyed what little I've read so far.  It's not the typical type of story I would normally read but I like to read stories that are non-typical (for me anyway) as I think it's a good experience and helps keep your perspective straight.

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"Dort, wo man Bücher verbrennt, verbrennt man am Ende auch Menschen." - Heinrich Heine

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there is no river." - Nikita Kruschev
Gatac
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« Reply #39 on: April 04, 2008, 07:22:34 PM »

Try these:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

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Gatac
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« Reply #40 on: April 12, 2008, 11:28:02 PM »

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Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

Don't turn around, uh-oh
Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh
And if he talks to you
Then you'll know why
The more you live
The faster you will die


Time-honored problem solving technique: Sell your friends down the river.

We have...*looks at plan*...three more chapters. Give or take 1.

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« Reply #41 on: April 18, 2008, 12:31:04 PM »

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Chapter 24. Who wants to live forever?

Theres no time for us
Theres no place for us
What is this thing
That builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us?

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?

There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
This world has only
One sweet moment
Set aside for us

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?
When love must die


For those of you who don't remember, here's Chapter 17 of Just 'cause, where this scene originally occurred. I like it better this way, but I realize that it might be confusing for some who prefer it spelled out.

In a way, this was both inevitable and not. I knew that, at some point, I'd have to get to this, but all the way through my mind was racing with ways to sidestep this. Picture this, I'd actually gotten attached to Sharon a great deal. Living characters are more interesting than dead ones, and dammit, can't we just throw all this cynicism overboard and have a happy ending?

But the closer I got, the more I mapped things out, I began to realize that it couldn't work out. It'd be cheating both you and the essence of the story to do a bait & switch like this. Things had to happen, though I believe that you know Mark well enough now to see why it had to go this way.

Enough said. This is draining enough as is. The story isn't over, though. Two or three more chapters.

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« Reply #42 on: April 18, 2008, 10:37:36 PM »




There are, of course, ways back from the precipice
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Gatac
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« Reply #43 on: April 23, 2008, 03:35:50 PM »

Just as an FYI, I'll try to make the rest of the story run weekly, so you should see a new chapter on the weekend. I'm also going to prepare some "special features"; two I'm committed to are a short essay on what the story means (since it is, imo, the first of my Ultimates story that really lends itself to analyzing themes and motifs) and a short list of songs I wanted to use but couldn't, for some reason, plus a short explanation of the whys and hows of their avoidance. If your heart longs for something on top of that, feel free to request it here.

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« Reply #44 on: April 27, 2008, 10:56:42 AM »

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Chapter 25, as we find our heroes knockin' on heaven's door.

Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is comin' down
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door


(Yes, that was a concert in the 90s. But they have been playing it live since '87, so there. It's kinda ironic that I had to throw this justification in for both Dylan songs so far.)

The downward spiral continues.

For the less gunbunny-ish readers, a 9mm Hydra-Shok is a high-velocity hollow-point round favored for law enforcement use. A IIa vest isn't rated to withstand that. Given that getting shot with a vest on is unpleasant at best and can fracture ribs even when the vest isn't penetrated, it's not surprising that this can really mess up your day. But then, point-blank GSWs are never fun.

Has our intrepid hero's luck finally run out completely? He was kicked when he was down and the ref didn't call it - but is it a knockout blow?

Well, the story ain't over, so I think we know the answer to that one. See you next time.

Gatac
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