Corrupt a Wish Foundation

[@stroVal]

Granted!Not only do you become a better person but you attain sainthood<not based on any facts,real persons and/or  laws of physics>...People are so annoyed that you are such a goody- two-shoes and genuinely selfless frood that they nail you to a tree(like that other guy)...
I wish they would stop making emo-bisexual-vampire films

[glimmerrat]

Granted! They make emo bisexual werewolf films instead.

I wish music wasn't such a crappy mess these days.

[TheAuldGrump]

Granted! You discover that music has always been a crappy mess, since first Ogg started banging rocks together.

I wish that I knew what to get the Morlocks living in my basement for a housewarming gift....

The Auld Grump, in my castle stronghold on Mount Katahdin.

[Sletchman]

I wish that I knew what to get the Morlocks living in my basement for a housewarming gift....

Granted.  You realise that Eloi meat would be the traditional gift, and through great expense [lucky you won that lottery] develop a time machine and finance a safari to capture a few, which is reasonably easy.  Unfortunately when you go to deliver it they mistake you for one of the Eloi, and you are eaten.  On the upside, they think your body was an excellent housewarming gift.


I wish I was a budgie, with a nice owner.

[Krensky]

I wish I was a budgie, with a nice owner.

Granted. Then they die. And their parents can't stand you. So they put you down. On ly, instead of hitting you with the book or shooting you just there above the beak, they flush you down the loo where you breed in the sewers with other flushed budgies, and eventually we get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom.


I wish i didn't know that sketch.