Author Topic: Corrupt a Wish Foundation  (Read 78083 times)

MordOptiMax

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #525 on: April 21, 2010, 10:01:34 AM »

Granted. He typed it.

I wish had a more varied diet.

Granted, bon appetit! 150 flavors
http://www.crayolastore.com/product_detail.asp?T1=CRA+52-0029LCC
My favorite one is asparagus.

I wish for a fish on a dish.

MilitiaJim

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #526 on: April 21, 2010, 10:33:06 AM »
I wish for a fish on a dish.
Granted! Enjoy your blobfish.


I wish they hadn't burnt my gumbo.
"Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."  ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool  in the killer's hands.")
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)

Bill Whitmore

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #527 on: April 21, 2010, 11:17:12 AM »
I wish for a fish on a dish.
Granted! Enjoy your blobfish.


I wish they hadn't burnt my gumbo.

Granted.  Instead they burned down the building and you barely escaped, badly burned.  In the aftermath, through some miracle of divine intervention, your perfect, unburnt gumbo still sat on a table...which was shared amongst the fire fighters while you watched from the back of an ambulance.

I wish the Sharks would win the Stanley Cup this year.
Don't follow your passion.  Take it with you.

ALL HAIL THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!   Ramen.

TheAuldGrump

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #528 on: April 21, 2010, 05:31:21 PM »
Would you be wanting your wish granted then? Sure, don't they win the Cup, and isn't it because of a terrible disaster that kills every member of every other team, including their wives, their children, and even their pets?

Now wouldn't the Auld Grump be wishing that he could master the fading Irish custom of the making of statements by means of questions? And of the approach to things at an oblique angle, instead of rudely meeting them with statements most direct?

But wouldn't this be more of a habit of the Kerrymen, than the Grump's ancestral Ulster?

The Auld Grump, now wouldn't you know?
I don't know how the story ends...
But I do know what happens next.

Agent 333

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #529 on: April 22, 2010, 12:44:06 PM »
Granted... I think. However, your new mannerisms annoy the crap out of everyone, and all your friends and family stop talking to you.

I wish my skin were clearer.
When all your problems are nails, all your tools start looking like hammers.

MilitiaJim

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #530 on: April 22, 2010, 01:14:19 PM »
I wish my skin were clearer.
Granted!  Transparent is clear-er right?  A sunburn on your skin is bad, but a sunburn on muscle is so much worse, and then there is the "fun" of trying to sleep with transparent eyelids.  At least you don't need goggles at the pool.

I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.
"Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."  ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool  in the killer's hands.")
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)

OverNinja

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #531 on: April 22, 2010, 01:30:06 PM »
I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.

Granted. You'll end up in jail for it, 25 to Life on Federal charges.

I wish I knew where the Hot/Cold Gel pack is.
"If somebody is worth shooting once, they're worth shooting twice."
"Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither liberty nor security."

MilitiaJim

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #532 on: April 22, 2010, 07:22:54 PM »
I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.
Granted. You'll end up in jail for it, 25 to Life on Federal charges.
I'm not pulling a Bernie Madoff and running a Social Security imitation.  :P

I wish I knew where the Hot/Cold Gel pack is.
It's at the drug store.  The one that is closed until I leave Club Fed.   :P

I wish to be well rested when it is time to get up and go to work.
"Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."  ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool  in the killer's hands.")
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)

glimmerrat

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #533 on: April 23, 2010, 05:56:22 AM »
Granted! Unfortunately the mercury and arsenic aren't very good for you. But hey, at least your diet is varied... until you die.

I wish that something good happens to the person who replies to this post, with no negative consequences for me.
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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

MilitiaJim

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #534 on: April 23, 2010, 06:33:04 AM »
I wish that something good happens to the person who replies to this post, with no negative consequences for me.
Woo hoo!

Your attempt to thwart the spirit of the wishes does not pass unnoticed:  One of your toes goes missing during a memorable mishap involving the Swedish womens beach volleyball team, the Dallas Cowgirls, and three declawed cats.

I Pennsylvania's blue laws were replaced with something reasonable.
"Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."  ("A sword is never a killer, it's a tool  in the killer's hands.")
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca "the younger" ca. (4 BC - 65 AD)

glimmerrat

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #535 on: April 23, 2010, 06:48:33 AM »
Granted! They are, but then the overzealous religious fundamentalists riot, take over the country, and reinstate them with even harsher restrictions.

I wish that I could slay at will, with a glance.
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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

TheAuldGrump

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #536 on: April 23, 2010, 10:11:16 PM »
Granted! You discover your power while shaving the morning after the night before, take one look at your bloodshot eyes in the mirror, clutch your head, and say: 'Argh, blimey! I wish I was dead!'

I wish that I could convince some of my players to help me build terrain!

The Auld Grump
I don't know how the story ends...
But I do know what happens next.

glimmerrat

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #537 on: April 24, 2010, 12:41:22 AM »
Granted! Unfortunately the earthworks in your front yard violate several zoning laws, and you are arrested and sent to prison.

I wish that St George's Day was a national holiday.
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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

TheAuldGrump

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #538 on: April 24, 2010, 01:24:25 AM »
Granted! Unfortunately the earthworks in your front yard violate several zoning laws, and you are arrested and sent to prison.

I wish that St George's Day was a national holiday.
Granted! But the dragons burn the nation to the ground in protest.

I wish I could remember the title of that book I liked. You know, the one with the author, and the cover? Where the main character was this guy who did this thing with that stuff? And he had a girl who did this other thing, and found that whatsit?

The Auld Grump, and the picture of the writer on the back?
I don't know how the story ends...
But I do know what happens next.

Sletchman

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Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
« Reply #539 on: May 03, 2010, 05:15:34 PM »
I wish I could remember the title of that book I liked. You know, the one with the author, and the cover? Where the main character was this guy who did this thing with that stuff? And he had a girl who did this other thing, and found that whatsit?

The Auld Grump, and the picture of the writer on the back?

Granted, but you realise upon rereading it that it is nowhere near as good as you first thought, and have now paid way more then you should have for it on ebay.

I wish that something nice would happen to the person who responds to this post.