Movies you hated, that everyone else liked

[Wolverine]

Nez - the tree rape was Evil Dead 1.

If I remember it rightly (it has been a while since I've seen it) 2 was just a remake of 1 with a bigger budget and some slight tweaks. The tree scene appeared in both.

As for hentai, check Wikipedia. There's a photo of a woodcut displayed there from 1820 of a woman and an octopus. And the word itself has been in use since the mid-20th century.

Yeah, I need to get out more, or at least stop spending half my time on Wikipedia.

[Crafty_Alex]

I hate schlock, of all species and breeds. Camp, I can handle, but not schlock - it's just not honest. There's just no excuse for counting on the audience's intellectual laziness to prop up bad filmmaking.

I would put about 90% of all modern films in the schlock category. My list of hates that others love include:

* Summer popcorn movies (very specifically including the Mummy movies)
* Nearly every Hollywood version of a book (only one that escapes this recently is Children of Men)
* Every remake of a film from the 70's (absolutely serious here)
* Every horror film remake
* All non-animated musicals
* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)
* Every film based on an 80's TV show (sadly, GI Joe will probably not be able to break this trend, either)
* A vast majority of anime (we get the best over here, and most of *that* is still crap)
* Anything starring Martin Lawrence, Ice Cube (save Boyz in the Hood), Vin Diesel, John Travolta, Jet Li, Ricki Lake, a professional singer, a professional athlete, or Quentin Tarintino (as an actor - yes, that includes From Dusk Til Dawn).
* Anything directed by Bruce Ratner, Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, a former director of music videos or  the Bruckheimer "hit squad" stable of directors

I'll be happy to debate the finer points on these, though

[Sletchman]

There's just no excuse for counting on the audience's intellectual laziness to prop up bad filmmaking.

Man I Hate when a film assumes its audience is stupid.  Actually I hate anything that assumes the reader / viewer / listener is stupid.

* Nearly every Hollywood version of a book (only one that escapes this recently is Children of Men)

Hmm, really didn't like Children of Men, but I never read the book.  The main reason I didn't like it is that it portrayed every professional soldier as violent, unstable, yes-men with no moral compass [IMHO].

* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)

So you didn't like, uh, The Incredible Hulk, 30 Days of Night, Hellboy, Constantine, Indiana Jones, V for Vendetta, Ninja Turtles... [I'm sure theres others but thats what springs to mind] - Can't blame ya, but it seems if a superhero film has Man or Boy or Men in the title, its more likely to suck.  Batman and Ironman being the exceptions [and with batman its only the Burton and Nolan versions that don't]

Uwe Boll

Anybody who likes his movies should be immediately quarantined, lest whatever they have should spread.

Quality ranting Glimmerrat.

[Krensky]

* A vast majority of anime (we get the best over here, and most of *that* is still crap)

We don't have the best, we get what licensors feel will do the best in the US market... unless it's Macross, in which case it's not here because of Harmony Gold and legal issues. This results, often, in good work being altered in an attempt to change Japanes culturalisms into American ones, or with nuanced things just getting lost in translation.

* Anything starring... a professional singer...

Out of curiosity, does that include Jackie Chan?

[Agent 333]

* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)

So you didn't like, uh, The Incredible Hulk, 30 Days of Night, Hellboy, Constantine, Indiana Jones, V for Vendetta, Ninja Turtles... [I'm sure theres others but thats what springs to mind] - Can't blame ya, but it seems if a superhero film has Man or Boy or Men in the title, its more likely to suck.  Batman and Ironman being the exceptions [and with batman its only the Burton and Nolan versions that don't]

Psst, Hellboy has "boy" in the title.

[TheTSKoala]

* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)

So you didn't like, uh, The Incredible Hulk, 30 Days of Night, Hellboy, Constantine, Indiana Jones, V for Vendetta, Ninja Turtles... [I'm sure theres others but thats what springs to mind] - Can't blame ya, but it seems if a superhero film has Man or Boy or Men in the title, its more likely to suck.  Batman and Ironman being the exceptions [and with batman its only the Burton and Nolan versions that don't]

Psst, Hellboy has "boy" in the title.

Does that mean you liked Batman and Robin?  "Frrrreeeeeuhhhhzzeee Beeeeoooorddie."

[Wolverine]

* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)

So you didn't like [..]Hellboy...

Emphasis mine

(Oh, and I don't think Indiana Jones really qualifies as a comic book)

[Crafty_Alex]

* A funny one - all superhero movies that do not have "man" or "boy" in the title. (think about it)

So you didn't like, uh, The Incredible Hulk

Nope, not the Ang Lee one at least.

30 Days of Night

Nope.

Hellboy

"Boy"

Constantine

Not really.

Indiana Jones

No tights and no throwing cars makes it not a superhoro movie, at least in Hollywood treatments. And I didn't like half that franchise either

V for Vendetta

Doh! Forgot that one. I dug V.

Ninja Turtles...

Really nope! Too bad no one ever had the balls to do the Eastman/Laird treatment - but then it wouldn't sell as many toys.

And don't forget X-Men, the Fantastic Four, etc - loved the comics, but hated the films.

Can't blame ya, but it seems if a superhero film has Man or Boy or Men in the title, its more likely to suck.  Batman and Ironman being the exceptions [and with batman its only the Burton and Nolan versions that don't]

I found Spider-man, especially 1 and 2, to be pretty true to the Lee/Ditko era Spider-Man mythology, so I can't complain. Iron Man rocked. There were crap films with Batman's franchise, but Burton did pretty well and Nolan's been amazing. Superman I hate as a character, so I can't really comment on the films fairly due to that particular detest.

[ThunderMonkey]

Ninja Turtles...

Really nope! Too bad no one ever had the balls to do the Eastman/Laird treatment - but then it wouldn't sell as many toys.

What they don't realize is that it'll still sell toys even if the kids don't go see the movie. Hell, I'm sure most parents (at least the ones that seem to be know what they're doing) would let their young kids see "Batman Begins" much less "The Dark Knight" and the toys will still sell.

It would take a Nolan-esque type director with the clout and vision to pull off a version of the Turtles close to the comics and have the studio bite.

[Crafty_Alex]

* A vast majority of anime (we get the best over here, and most of *that* is still crap)

We don't have the best, we get what licensors feel will do the best in the US market... unless it's Macross, in which case it's not here because of Harmony Gold and legal issues. This results, often, in good work being altered in an attempt to change Japanes culturalisms into American ones, or with nuanced things just getting lost in translation.

Then gaiijin I am! There are some things I like, but most of those are not imported. The anime I do like: Akira, Macross (esp original series and Macross Zero), Ghost in the Shell (both movies and TV series), Black Lagoon (never imported), Miazaki's work, part of Gasaraki (one that really doesn't translate well for non-Shintoists), Record of Lodoss War, Last Exile, FLCL, Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo to a lesser degree.

But that's pretty much it. I have watched and actively disliked, in no particular order: Gunslinger Girl, Noir, Inuyasha, Pokemon, Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, Evangelion, later Robotech, Now and Then Here and There, and a bunch of other series my otaku friends really try to get me to watch. I just can't do it.

* Anything starring... a professional singer...

Out of curiosity, does that include Jackie Chan?

If that's his primary career, then it might be. Sorry Jackie, I think you peaked with Drunken Master 2. Tony Leung I like in Infernal Affairs, but I wouldn't count him as a singer (he's more of a multimedia Asian pop star).

[ThunderMonkey]

* Anything starring Martin Lawrence, Ice Cube (save Boyz in the Hood), Vin Diesel, John Travolta, Jet Li, Ricki Lake, a professional singer, a professional athlete, or Quentin Tarintino (as an actor - yes, that includes From Dusk Til Dawn).

The only Martin Lawrence movie I will watch on a regular basis is "Nothing to Lose" with Tim Robbins and directed by Steve Oedekerk.

I like Vin in "Chronicles of Riddick"  and "XXX" (maybe those should be in the other list) and I wished he did more genre stuff like those.

Travolta... I pretty much agree with that I could have done without him in "Face/Off".

Jet Li? Really? His Hong Kong stuff is golden and "Contract Killer" should be a staple in the Spycraft diet of movies and "Kiss of the Dragon" as well.

Ricki Lake... Funny story... when I proposed to the wife we went to have dinner and go see a movie. Well, we had pretty much seen all the movies we wanted to see and there was some little know film left that seemed okay "Serial Mom". Probably not the most romantic movie, but it still gives us a laugh.

[Krensky]

Then gaiijin I am! There are some things I like, but most of those are not imported. The anime I do like: Akira, Macross (esp original series and Macross Zero), Ghost in the Shell (both movies and TV series), Black Lagoon (never imported), Miazaki's work, part of Gasaraki (one that really doesn't translate well for non-Shintoists), Record of Lodoss War, Last Exile, FLCL, Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo to a lesser degree.

But that's pretty much it. I have watched and actively disliked, in no particular order: Gunslinger Girl, Noir, Inuyasha, Pokemon, Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, Evangelion, later Robotech, Now and Then Here and There, and a bunch of other series my otaku friends really try to get me to watch. I just can't do it.

Heh. Actually that matches very well my taste, although, technically Black Lagoon was released in the US by Geneon, but it's out of print now that they closed. Also, I didn't mean to imply you didn't like it because you didn't get it or something, but that attempts to alter shows often left them poor renditions of the original. Fox's butchery of Escaflowne being a truly glaring example.

[Jake]

Travolta... I pretty much agree with that I could have done without him in "Face/Off".

I could of done without Face/Off. I could of done without John Woo; Broken Arrow, Windtalkers, Mission Impossible II, Paycheck, Tripe.

* Quentin Tarintino (as an actor - yes, that includes From Dusk Til Dawn).

You mean starring Quentin Tarantino or just with him in it? The only movies I can think that he made and wasn't in (excluding True Romance which is pure awesomeness,) are Jackie Brown and Death Proof, the most horrid of his creations. Tarantino starred (in his segment of) Four Room, I remember seeing The Man From Rio when I was 12 and loving every minute of it. Steve McQueen, Peter Lorre, and Alfred Hitchcock? What's not to like? Then Tarantino pops up with a spoof and I'm rolling in the aisles.


Also, Rob Schneider has failed as an actor and as a sentient being.

[ThunderMonkey]

Travolta... I pretty much agree with that I could have done without him in "Face/Off".

I could of done without Face/Off. I could of done without John Woo; Broken Arrow, Windtalkers, Mission Impossible II, Paycheck, Tripe.

I like the Woo man. I used to really detest M:I II until I saw a bunch of his Hong Kong movies... and then it was more apparent what he was trying to do.

I'm sure Alex's head nearly exploded when he saw "Broken Arrow" (Travolta and a former pro athlete).

[Crafty_Alex]

Jet Li? Really? His Hong Kong stuff is golden and "Contract Killer" should be a staple in the Spycraft diet of movies and "Kiss of the Dragon" as well.

Heh, I was waiting to see if anyone would call me out on that one. I think every movie I've seen with Jet Li is junk. The story is invariably crap. The acting, wooden. The direction...slo-mo. I'm amazed by the man as a physical specimen and martial arts exhibitionist, but he can't make a good movie to save his life.