<Everything me and Valentina typed>
To control the length of this, I've editted the quote. Long conversation. lol. First, thanks on the 17 out of 20. While I don't have to transition at 20, I could easily go 25-30-40, I'm looking forwarded to dropping the TS from TSKoala. When I designed my life and my education, I had no ambition for having a wife and child. Now that I do (and my life is far more enriched with them than with my career), it just doesn't fit. So.. 3 more, then go see what my skills can do somewhere else. Who knows, maybe Shadowrun will come true and I can run Lone Star! lol.
To the "I would rather be wrong and die than kill a child" mentality.. I completely understand it. And you're also right about fear feeding tactical response. ..and fear building stereotypes. And the fear of being honest with ourselves leads to those fears being prevalent in many things. As I've said in the past, I have a very good friend who is.. and I quote.. "The blackest black guy" you can know. Nylon head rag, half sleeve tattoos, can fire off more slang than Urban Dictionary. Wears enough gold and silver to be Mr. T's child. If I didn't know him, I would swear he's a thug. That I do know him, I trust him with the life of myself and if needed, my family. Which is a TERRIBLE realization.
^ Until we can somehow.. and I have no idea how because even I'm guilty of it and I try to be as open minded as possible.. address our perceptions of one another, of our communities and admit that we've been pretty shitty to everyone of non Anglo-European descent, I'm not sure where we can expect a change in police response. It's like walking into a bar fight... ...just a really really big one.
For the bloodlust of a soldier.. I'll tie that one back to police. Just because one cop is a belligerent Judge Dredd wanna-be, doesn't mean they all are. Same with the bloodlust and desire to kill. While that may run in some of the grunts who somehow get past mental screenings, alot of the men and women who come home and have ended up in on my couch during my internships have a very hard time reconciling the fact that while they were doing their job, so was the guy on the other end. And that guy had a family too. etc etc. Perfect example of this is World War 2. My grandfather was a field nurse (would now be called a Devil Doc). We kids would all try to make him into some hero of folklore who went to Europe and saw hell and survived, and he would always tell us "Boys, I did what I had to do. Nothing more to it." and looking back I now notice his eyes when he said it more than his words.
But yea.. humans are weird. We treat each other like the boogeymen sometimes. And we need honest conversations so we stop killing innocent people.
As for Despair? Nah. I'm sure at some point we'll figure it out. It's just all very sad that we've reached a level of animosity and fear that it ends up kids playing with a cap gun get killed and the people that are hired to protect us have to live with a reality that is on no level fair to anyone. Them, their families, their communities or their citizens.
And I will gladly take a small coma.