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Community => Classic Topics => Topic started by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 06:04:07 PM

Title: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 06:04:07 PM
Stolen from several websites (the one where I first encountered it was the forum for Casey & Andy)....

Instructions:

Step 1: Corrupt the wish of the above poster.
Step 2: Make your own wish.

Ex.: The above poster wishes for a pony.

NextPoster1: Granted, but it's an evil flesh-eating pony. I wish I had superpowers.

NextPoster2: Granted, but the powers drain your life-force, causing you to age a an accelerated rate. I wish for $1,000,000.

NextPoster3: Granted, but your credit cards are stolen, and you spend the million paying back fraudulent charges. I wish I was ruler of the universe.
etc.


Starting with an easy one - I wish that I had my very own space station!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 02, 2008, 06:12:49 PM
Starting with an easy one - I wish that I had my very own space station!


Granted, Skylab is yours.

I wish I had a copy of Ten Thousand Bullets.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 06:15:50 PM
Starting with an easy one - I wish that I had my very own space station!


Granted, Skylab is yours.

I wish I had a copy of Ten Thousand Bullets.
Granted! In Ten Thousand Pieces....

I wish I could live forever!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Gentry on December 02, 2008, 06:19:38 PM
Forever surrounded by Camarilla LARPers who've all wished for the same thing!

I wish for Peace on Earth, Good Will toward Men.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 02, 2008, 06:59:17 PM
One handful of dirt, and women universally hate you.

I wish I was Big.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 07:32:37 PM
Granted. You are now too tall to breathe in the atmosphere, and you suffocate. Then, for good measure, your gigantic corpse destroys the ecosystem of the earth and all of humanity dies.

I wish Firefly wasn't cancelled before it's time.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 07:41:05 PM
Granted. You are now too tall to breathe in the atmosphere, and you suffocate. Then, for good measure, your gigantic corpse destroys the ecosystem of the earth and all of humanity dies.

I wish Firefly wasn't cancelled before it's time.
Granted! Firefly gets cancelled after its time, restarted under the helm of George Lucas....

I wish that Fallout had a great ending!

The Auld Grump
 
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 07:51:35 PM
Granted. Unfortunatley, the dev team spent so long making the ending great, the game now only has 3 hours of playtime, including all sideplots.

I wish I didn't have to repay my student loans.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 02, 2008, 07:59:07 PM
Granted. Unfortunatley, the dev team spent so long making the ending great, the game now only has 3 hours of playtime, including all sideplots.

I wish I didn't have to repay my student loans.

Done, because the Mafia just picked up the tab and wants to know how soon you'll be ready to "work off" your debt.

I wish I was an Imperium Space Marine!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 08:00:18 PM
Bang. You're dead.

I wish for an end to religious strife.

(work as a solution to both Agent 333 AND Val's wish, oddly enough)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 08:02:02 PM
Granted. God himself comes to Earth to declare that we're all wrong, and then sends us all to Hell.

I wish that my monthly Marvel comics subscriptions would arrive on time.


EDIT: Origionally wanted to answer Val's wish: Granted, your first mission is in the Eye of Terror. If you survive, you're being shipped out to a planet on the edge of Hive Fleet Leviathan...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 08:04:51 PM
They do. But as you're in hell, you're subscribed solely to Bendis's stupid "Spidey makes a pact with the devil" books.

I wish people who knew how to treat the characters under their stewardship with respect were in charge of Marvel and DC
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 08:09:16 PM
They do. But as you're in hell, you're subscribed solely to Bendis's stupid "Spidey makes a pact with the devil" books.

I wish people who knew how to treat the characters under their stewardship with respect were in charge of Marvel and DC

Granted, but unfortunately their business skills are abysmal and both companies go out of buisness in less than 6 months.

I wish Isaac Asimov were still alive.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 08:12:07 PM
Granted. But he's being kept alive by a semi mystical apparatus that sucks the life energy out of random people on the street.

I wish Joss Whedon hadn't killed off Tara.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 09:17:03 PM
Granted, instead he kills off Willow.

I wish the "Mac vs PC" commercials were made into a sitcom that had nothing to do with computers.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on December 02, 2008, 09:21:06 PM
granted, but Bill Gates is writing the script
i wish i had a  better paying job.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 09:23:44 PM
Granted! You are now assigned to cleaning the grease out of crematoriums for the Gas Board. (I actually know someone who had that job. Triple pay, but nobody wanted it....)

I wish that I could make money running role playing games!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 09:42:24 PM
Granted. However, you have to run the worst RPG ever designed for a bunch of power gaming 10 year olds.

I wish Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and Jason Bonham (John Bonham's son) would tour as Led Zepplin in the US.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 09:46:40 PM
Granted. However they are shot down while accidentially overflying the White House before their first gig.

I wish Rose had been killed at the end of season 2.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 02, 2008, 09:50:18 PM
DAMN! Beat me. Granted, she dies at the end of season 1.


Leaving for continuity because my wish remains the same.

Granted, but to make it even cooler I resurrect a zombified John Bonham. Unfortunately he goes a killing spree and murders Page and Plant. I manage to chain him up before he can harm JPJ and the two go on to make awesome music.

I wish I could resurrect a zombified John Bonham.

PS
I wish I could have answered Valentina's question:
I wish I was Big.
*
Spoiler: Granted but you're no longer a bloke • show
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/32/Silicone_gel-filled_breast_implants.jpeg)
*
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 10:00:19 PM
Granted. However you are overcome with the compulsion to shag the local vampire lord and alpha werewolf and pretty much every other pretty boy in fetishwear, on the flimsiest of pretexts.


I wish LK Hamilton hadn't discovered the pleasures of writing erotica




PS:
DAMN! Beat me. Granted, she dies at the end of season 1.

Corruption I can live with.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on December 02, 2008, 10:09:28 PM
Granted. Instead she takes up writing nothing but bad (is there really any other kind) emo poetry.

I wish New Zealand was geographically closer to the United States.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 02, 2008, 10:18:26 PM
Granted, but the massive tectonic disturbances crated by the move shatters it into a half-drownd archipeligo, killing millions and prompting US military occupation.

I wish there was a "The Goodies: the Next Generation"
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 02, 2008, 10:51:11 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, it's horrible and craps on everything that was good about the original.

I wish I had a girlfriend.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 02, 2008, 11:20:33 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, it's horrible and craps on everything that was good about the original.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted!
But it's ME and I'm "overcome with the compulsion to shag the local vampire lord and alpha werewolf and pretty much every other pretty boy in fetishwear, on the flimsiest of pretexts."

And follow it by hideous, yet curiously ineffective suicide attempts. =P

I wish I was a delicious tin of bacon baked beans.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 02, 2008, 11:52:29 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, it's horrible and craps on everything that was good about the original.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted!
But it's ME and I'm "overcome with the compulsion to shag the local vampire lord and alpha werewolf and pretty much every other pretty boy in fetishwear, on the flimsiest of pretexts."

And follow it by hideous, yet curiously ineffective suicide attempts. =P

I wish I was a delicious tin of bacon baked beans.


Granted! You were found on a shelf in Fallout 3 and used as ammo in a Rock-It gun.

I wish I had a secret Evil Headquarters on a remote island, guarded by a death ray and sharks with frikkin lasers mounted on their heads!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 03, 2008, 12:01:05 AM
Granted. Sadly it's all made of cardboard and was left out in the rain.

I wish Batman wasn't such a bigoted dick.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 12:34:03 AM
Granted. He reverts to his ultimately campy and corny incarnation from the 50s.

I wish I could fly.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 03, 2008, 12:39:40 AM
Granted. However you happen to be a winged monkey. and that never ends well.

I wish we were allowed to shoot politicians when they screw up.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 12:52:15 AM
Granted. However, nobody wants to be a politician anymore and anarchy erupts. You are promptly shot by someone who mistakes you for a politician.

I wish I had a normal sleep schedule.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on December 03, 2008, 02:34:48 AM
Granted. However, the sleep schedule is keyed to the time zone for Kenya.

I wish George Lucas could make another Star Wars movie without taking a massive dump on the fans in the process.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 03, 2008, 02:36:36 AM
Granted. However he pisses all over the fans instead.

I wish someone would avail themselves of a submarine and start sinking the Japanese whaling fleet.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 03, 2008, 02:50:41 AM
Done, though without being covertly checked by "commercial" culling the Deep Whale cultists manage to finally revive their slumbering Grey Devourer lord via mass sacrifice. With the Maw of the Ocean awake the seas become viscous and roil with horrific life as it slaves every last living thing in the salt-waters to it's will -to drown and devour the entire planet.

I wish I was Taki from Soul Calibur 4.
(guh, late night logic)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 03, 2008, 02:58:17 AM
Granted. However, the sleep schedule is keyed to the time zone for Kenya.

I wish George Lucas could make another Star Wars movie without taking a massive dump on the fans in the process.

Heheh, nice.
I was going to go with, "Done! But the days on Mercury pass faster then's really right for your biology -to say nothing of the heat."
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 03:55:51 AM
Granted. Of course, now you are a fictional character with no free will, and the urge to kick someone every time someon presses the circle button...

I wish I had a Mazzeratti (that does 185). Bonus points if your corruption follows from the reference.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 03, 2008, 04:39:06 AM
Done. However you're savagely T-boned by a Delorian doing 88 that you could have sworn wasn't there a moment ago.

I wish they'd never made Highlander 2
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 05:10:53 AM
Granted. Of course, they never made Highlander 1 either...

I wish more people would know who I'm talking about when I bring up Joe Walsh in conversation.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 03, 2008, 06:04:52 AM
I wish more people would know who I'm talking about when I bring up Joe Walsh in conversation.

Granted. Of course it's because he only stopped drinking after he died when his car drunkenly crashed into a school bus full of kindergartners and a liquefied natural gas tanker on national television, killing everyone involved.

I wish I was Omnipotent.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 06:16:52 AM
Granted. However, with omnipitence comes the knowledge that anything you do will just end up getting fucked up sooner or later, filling you with soul crushing despair.

I wish the Timeline movie didn't suck.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 03, 2008, 06:35:55 AM
Granted. However, with omnipitence comes the knowledge that anything you do will just end up getting fucked up sooner or later, filling you with soul crushing despair.

Then I'm not omnipotent.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 03, 2008, 07:08:10 AM
Yeah, I think you're talking about omniscient, 333. =]
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 03, 2008, 09:11:26 AM
I wish I was Omnipotent.

Granted. However, you'll still never be able to lift that rock.

I wish 10kB were out for sale.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on December 03, 2008, 09:49:41 AM
I wish I was Omnipotent.

Granted. However, you'll still never be able to lift that rock.

I wish 10kB were out for sale.

Sim-Salabim, it is so!
Shame it was marked as an impossibly pan-OS kernal-critical virus vector and no one's touching it for fear of total system destruction.
(10KB is so awesome it could kill the entire intenet)

I wish I could directly mentally interface with my electronics.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on December 03, 2008, 10:06:39 AM
I wish I could directly mentally interface with my electronics.

Granted - but they also directly interface with you (ew!).

I wish I had a hundred clones.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 10:08:45 AM
Yeah, I think you're talking about omniscient, 333. =]

With one comes the other. Omnipotence = ability to do anything, seeing the future = doing something. Therefore having Omnipotence gives you Omniscience. See, I no crazy.

EDIT (Figured I  should grant a wish).
Granted. Unfortunately, they've taken over all your writing duties and defer to you for editing. Now you have 100 times as much stuff to edit in the same amount of time. Also, they're all hungry and want food.

I wish the day were 26 hours long.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on December 03, 2008, 10:17:58 AM
granted, but to facilitate teh extras 2 hours sunday has now been removed from the normal week.


i wish i had a t rex epic mount in real life.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 03, 2008, 10:22:07 AM
i wish i had a t rex epic mount in real life.

Granted. Sometimes you feed your pet, and other times you feed your pet.

And because I can't resist:
I wish I could directly mentally interface with my electronics.

Done.

"Do you want some toast? Maybe some crumpets? How about a scone? Waffles? Toast, toast, toast, toast toastity, toast. TOAST!"


I wish FantasyCraft was out.

Aside: Alex wins for referencing the philosophical argument.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 03, 2008, 11:42:49 AM
I wish the day were 26 hours long.

Granted. Your work day is ALSO 2 hours longer.

I wish Daylight Savings time lasted year round.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 03, 2008, 11:45:17 AM
I wish FantasyCraft was out.

Granted. You now only have the next 4th edition supplement to look forward to.

Quote
Aside: Alex wins for referencing the philosophical argument.

 ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: NezMaster on December 03, 2008, 03:39:50 PM
Granted. However, you have to run the worst RPG ever designed for a bunch of power gaming 10 year olds.

sorry to interupt. I had to do this. For the local library community group. I didn't even get paid for it. It was more fun than I thought, but it was still terrible.
Ok..back to the silly game.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: NezMaster on December 03, 2008, 03:44:00 PM

I wish Daylight Savings time lasted year round.

Granted. However your schedule is now such that you only see darkness, and die of vitamin D poisoning.

I wish I had the time and money to go to more conventions.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 03, 2008, 08:36:45 PM
Granted. However, all gaming conventions are cancelled until further notice.

I wish I could function without sleep.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 03, 2008, 11:15:28 PM
Granted, you change your name to Krank, you live on an oil rig off the coast of France and because you can never dream again you kidnap children to steal theirs.

I wish Camel still sold lights in soft packs.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 04, 2008, 07:49:15 AM
Granted. Camel now sells christmas lights in soft packs.

I wish for a device that can create free energy.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 04, 2008, 08:36:22 AM
I wish for a device that can create free energy.

Granted.  The device cannot be moved and is in Antarctica. 

I wish I wouldn't get in trouble for killing legislators.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 04, 2008, 09:07:22 AM
I wish I wouldn't get in trouble for killing legislators.

Granted. You have now created a Marxist utopia.

I wish I had a son.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 04, 2008, 09:07:51 AM
I wish for a device that can create free energy.

Granted.  The device cannot be moved and is in Antarctica. 

That's not really a corruption since it can be cabled or beamed... Try:

Granted, but the world economic system completely disintegrates when presented with an infinite resource. Ninety-five percent of the human population dies in the ensuing chaos, famine, and plagues.

I wish I wouldn't get in trouble for killing legislators.

Granted. "I didn't like them." is now an affirmative defense in murder and manslaughter trials.

I wish I had a bucket of puppies.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 04, 2008, 09:08:37 AM
I wish I wouldn't get in trouble for killing legislators.

Granted. You have now created a Marxist utopia.

I wish I had a son.

You do, and he likes Uwe Boll movies.

I wish I had a bucket of puppies.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 04, 2008, 11:55:24 AM
Granted, I'll put them in the catapult and send them to you.

I wish I had a catapult that launched buckets of puppies.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 04, 2008, 12:00:57 PM
Granted, I'll put them in the catapult and send them to you.

I wish I had a catapult that launched buckets of puppies.

Granted, and here's your ammo:

(http://www.goldendoodledogs.com/images/3PupsinBucket2.JPG)

I wish I had a catapult that fired ill tempered cats at my users.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 04, 2008, 01:09:51 PM
Granted, but the cats really struggle when you try to load them.

I wish Iron Man got the respect he deserves.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: spinningdice on December 04, 2008, 01:19:27 PM
Granted, but Iron Man is reduced to a no-hope layabout worthy of no respect.

I wish I could find time to play all these games I have sat on my shelf.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 04, 2008, 01:21:01 PM
Granted, but you are now jobless and homeless and no longer have the systems required to play the games.

I wish I could think of better wishes.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Number Three on December 04, 2008, 02:02:28 PM
Granted.  Just as you are about to post, the mods lock the thread because a flame war broke out over someone else's wish.

I wish Central Jersey wasn't a Black Hole of Gaming.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 04, 2008, 03:05:53 PM
I wish Central Jersey wasn't a Black Hole of Gaming.

Granted, Central Jersey is now the gaming capital of the world. Everyone only wants to play F.A.T.A.L., SenZar, or The World of Synnibarr

I wish I didn't know those games existed.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 04, 2008, 03:06:15 PM
Quote from: Agent 333
I wish Iron Man got the respect he deserves.

Well he is on the run for opening Earth up to the Skrull Invasion...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 04, 2008, 06:36:13 PM
I wish Central Jersey wasn't a Black Hole of Gaming.

Granted, Central Jersey is now the gaming capital of the world. Everyone only wants to play F.A.T.A.L., SenZar, or The World of Synnibarr

I wish I didn't know those games existed.
Granted - after the accident and the oxygen starvation that it caused to your brain you no longer know your own name, much less the names of those funny paper filled things you used to roll funny colored shapes for.

I wish that I was worshipped by millions around the world as the new Messiah, come to bring an age of enlightenment to mankind.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on December 04, 2008, 07:15:05 PM
Granted - after the accident and the oxygen starvation that it caused to your brain you no longer know your own name, much less the names of those funny paper filled things you used to roll funny colored shapes for.

It's not the names, it]s the mythos lore like knowledge that slowly dissolves my sanity.

But even total brain death is probably a small price to pay to be free of that knowledge.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on December 04, 2008, 07:47:59 PM
I wish that I was worshipped by millions around the world as the new Messiah, come to bring an age of enlightenment to mankind.

Granted. But the Jews team up with the Catholics to crucify you before you can complete your work.

I wish DVR recording and downloads counted towards the ratings of TV shows.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 04, 2008, 09:08:48 PM
I wish DVR recording and downloads counted towards the ratings of TV shows.

Granted. "America's Next Top Model" and "American Idol" now have their own channels.

I wish the great directors of the 70's hadn't sold their souls and forgotten their art.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 05, 2008, 12:57:52 AM
Granted. They sold their art and forgot their souls instead, becoming the yuppy scum of the 80s.

I wish Batman had never been a part of the JLA.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: NezMaster on December 05, 2008, 04:15:31 AM
Ok. The JLA does not exist, and we stay with the JSA, where Batman died in 1970. And he never comes back.

I wish I was i could actually play a spycraft campaign, instead of just run them.


Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 05, 2008, 05:32:53 AM
Granted. Only now Spycraft happens to be written by the guy who wrote F.A.T.A.L.

I wish Grant Morrison had terminally ODed just before his final arc on X-Men.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 05, 2008, 10:45:57 AM
Granted. However, an even worse writer was brought in to finish his work from the notes Morrison left.

I wish Marvel would do an event where Iron Man comes out the hero instead of the badguy.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: ThunderMonkey on December 05, 2008, 11:34:18 AM
Granted. However, an even worse writer was brought in to finish his work from the notes Morrison left.

I wish Marvel would do an event where Iron Man comes out the hero instead of the badguy.

That first part was funny, I thought of Marvel bringing in Brett Ratner to finish up.

Wish granted, but Marvel trades Iron Man to DC, for Adam Strange and a first-round pick to be named later.

I wish WB would quit screwing around with its DC properties and start putting together some decent movies that doesn't have the characer Batman in it. Perhaps, even let Superman punch someone.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 05, 2008, 12:22:26 PM
I wish WB would quit screwing around with its DC properties and start putting together some decent movies that doesn't have the characer Batman in it. Perhaps, even let Superman punch someone.

Granted. Mr. Mxyzptlk Begins has been released.

I wish Watchmen was out in theaters.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Gentry on December 05, 2008, 12:40:01 PM
It is.  It's a documentary about how the Rolex corporation fared during during World War I, open on a dozen screens nationwide.

I wish for more wishes!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 05, 2008, 03:11:35 PM
It is.  It's a documentary about how the Rolex corporation fared during during World War I, open on a dozen screens nationwide.

I wish for more wishes!

Granted.  They turn out as well as these wishes have. 

That Marxist place is a utopia, 'cause I can keep shooting legislators until it ain't Marxist anymore.   ;D

I wish I had my carry license already.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on December 05, 2008, 03:15:14 PM
I wish I had my carry license already.

You do, but it comes with so many restrictions that even taking a piss while carrying will get your license revoked.

I wish I had a good idea for a wish.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 05, 2008, 03:30:41 PM
I wish I had a good idea for a wish.

Granted.  We louse it up like we've fouled the rest of these idea.

I wish to survive the zombie apocalypse without becoming a zombie.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 05, 2008, 04:00:41 PM

That Marxist place is a utopia, 'cause I can keep shooting legislators until it ain't Marxist anymore.   ;D


Not true! A Marxist utopia is legistator-free, a literal anarchy. You can't shoot away that particular problem :)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 05, 2008, 04:10:05 PM

That Marxist place is a utopia, 'cause I can keep shooting legislators until it ain't Marxist anymore.   ;D


Not true! A Marxist utopia is legistator-free, a literal anarchy. You can't shoot away that particular problem :)
We're an Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOOTKA0aGI0)

The Auld Grump, help! Help! I'm being repressed!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 05, 2008, 04:18:20 PM

That Marxist place is a utopia, 'cause I can keep shooting legislators until it ain't Marxist anymore.   ;D


Not true! A Marxist utopia is legistator-free, a literal anarchy. You can't shoot away that particular problem :)

Crappit.  I knew I should have included bureaucrats.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Morganti on December 05, 2008, 05:28:21 PM
I wish I had a good idea for a wish.

Granted.  We louse it up like we've fouled the rest of these idea.

I wish to survive the zombie apocalypse without becoming a zombie.

Instead of becoming a Zombie, you just die and the human race goes extinct, rather than properly evolving into the next stage of humanity.  Zombie kind.

I wish that instead of a Zombie apocalypse, we have a tribble apocalypse instead.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on December 05, 2008, 05:37:43 PM
I wish that instead of a Zombie apocalypse, we have a tribble apocalypse instead.

Granted. However, the world is saved when the overwrought ennui of gothling Vampire LARPers actually infects the Tribbles, removing any drive to procreate. Vampire LARPers are considered heroes, and goth affectations sweep the globe. Vampire LARPing becomes a widely practiced international pasttime; all other role-playing games lose their market. Fantasycraft dies stillborn.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Morganti on December 05, 2008, 06:18:16 PM
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Walter

Granted, except that you rot in the backroom of a safeway after the tribble apocalypse is twarted, but everyone turns vegan, or vampire....

I wish Shadowforce Archer was still an active line for the Crafty crew!
Title: OBJECTION!!
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 05, 2008, 06:46:50 PM
I wish to survive the zombie apocalypse without becoming a zombie.
Instead of becoming a Zombie, you just die and the human race goes extinct, rather than properly evolving into the next stage of humanity.  Zombie kind.
Dying =/= surviving.
Title: Overruled!
Post by: Gentry on December 05, 2008, 07:15:30 PM
I think the idea is that you survive just fine, but die of natural causes eventually.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 05, 2008, 07:50:10 PM
Quote from: MilitiaJim
I wish to survive the zombie apocalypse without becoming a zombie.

Granted. Instead you die of starvation in its wake because as a vampire you no longer have a blood supply.

I wish the UN had its own standing armed forces.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on December 05, 2008, 11:46:17 PM
I'll wrap up both floating wishes (shame on you, MrA, for ignoring Morganti's wish. :P)

I wish Shadowforce Archer was still an active line for the Crafty crew!

Granted. However, under the unrelenting pressure of a demanding public the quality of the product gradually degrades. Unable to reconcile their artistic integrity with the schlock being produced, the Crafty partners renounce the pen in favor of interpretive dance.

I wish the UN had its own standing armed forces.

Granted. However, the UN standing armed forces are run with less efficiency than the UN Disaster Response efforts, and less compassion than the now defunct UN Commission on Human Rights. <shudder>

I wish I had a better work/family balance.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 06, 2008, 12:30:59 AM
Granted. Unfortunately the skew towards one means you lose the other which in turn means you also lose the first in an alcohol fueled orgy of blood and violence.

I wish OJ had gotten life.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on December 06, 2008, 12:44:42 PM
I wish OJ had gotten life.

It has, and in an epic, patricidal attempt OJ battles the Fruit Fucker 2000 resulting in the complete destruction of your town of residence -- specifically including your home.

I wish I was part of a great, local gaming group.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 06, 2008, 01:45:15 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, the only game they play is FATAL.

I wish I had a front loading laundry machine.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 06, 2008, 01:55:55 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, the only game they play is FATAL.

I wish I had a front loading laundry machine.
*Knocks Agent 333's top loading washer on its back, spilling water, suds, and clothes all over the floor.* There ya go! Granted!

I wish I had an airship!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on December 06, 2008, 02:12:40 PM
I wish I had an airship!

"Captain Auldous Grump has recently been placed in command of LZ 129 Hindenburg, in time for the first of ten planned transatlantic crossings in this 1937 season..."

I wish I could sell my damned house.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 06, 2008, 02:56:01 PM
Granted. You sell it for a cupcake. On the plus side, the cupcake is delicious.

I wish a Zombie war broke out.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: spinningdice on December 06, 2008, 04:14:46 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, the only game they play is FATAL.

I wish I had a front loading laundry machine.

Bizarrely I don't think I've ever seen one not front-loaded, except on American TV.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on December 08, 2008, 07:32:48 PM
I wish a Zombie war broke out.

It does; see here (http://www.crafty-games.com/forum/index.php?topic=2232.msg34176#msg34176).

I wish my boy would finally get around to being potty trained.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 09, 2008, 06:19:31 AM
I wish my boy would finally get around to being potty trained.

Walter

Granted.  Just wait until you figure out what he considers his "potty."

I wish my girlfriend wasn't allergic to cats.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on December 09, 2008, 06:22:57 AM
I wish my girlfriend wasn't allergic to cats.

Granted. Instead she's allergic to you.

I wish I were independently wealthy.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 09, 2008, 08:23:20 AM
Granted. Instead she's allergic to you.
Do better you must:  That is already the case.  :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: player4 on December 09, 2008, 09:47:15 AM
I wish I were independently wealthy.

Granted.  You now have a fortune in all denominations.  You got it because you are the sole survivor of a human killing plague, thus all the money in the world is technically yours.  Spend as you see fit.

I wish I knew what happened to Jimmy Hoffa.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 09, 2008, 10:28:08 AM
Granted. You're buried beside him.

I wish we could all just get along.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: player4 on December 09, 2008, 11:01:35 AM
I wish we could all just get along.

Granted.  All of humanity has no long term memory, similar to that guy from Memento.  Thus they can't remember anything worthy of being upset over.

I wish I had super strength!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on December 09, 2008, 11:28:22 AM
Granted.  You now have a fortune in all denominations.  You got it because you are the sole survivor of a human killing plague, thus all the money in the world is technically yours.  Spend as you see fit.

Some days that outcome would work just fine. ;)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on December 09, 2008, 12:01:17 PM
granted, but of course we all know the side effects of steroids.

i wish resident evil 5 were out already
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: player4 on December 09, 2008, 12:04:32 PM
Some days that outcome would work just fine. ;)

But then you have no real need for the money... except to make little oragami animals.  :)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: player4 on December 09, 2008, 12:09:11 PM
i wish resident evil 5 were out already

Granted.  When the time frame to make the game was cut down Resident Evil 5 ended up being released with a bad code so that every time you shot your gun, or used your knife, or even tried to move your character you instantly died.

I wish I could find out if there is a God or not without dying first.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on December 09, 2008, 12:27:05 PM
Some days that outcome would work just fine. ;)

But then you have no real need for the money... except to make little oragami animals.  :)

I realize how ridiculous is sounds but LET ME HAVE MY DELUSIONS DAMMIT!

(ahem)

Carry on...  ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 09, 2008, 12:34:47 PM
Granted. However, the knowledge drives you insane, and you are institutionalized. You spend the rest of your naturall life in a padded room chanting "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Ftagn!"

I wish they would make a fighting game as high quality as DC vs Mortal Kombat starring Marvel characters instead.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Alex on December 09, 2008, 01:43:29 PM
I wish they would make a fighting game as high quality as DC vs Mortal Kombat starring Marvel characters instead.

Granted. Marvel vs. Monty Python is a smash hit.

I wish I could have a job that was both fun and paid well.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on December 09, 2008, 08:35:32 PM
Granted. Marvel vs. Monty Python is a smash hit.

I thought these were supposed to be bad outcomes? ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 10, 2008, 10:41:47 PM
I wish they would make a fighting game as high quality as DC vs Mortal Kombat starring Marvel characters instead.

Granted. Marvel vs. Monty Python is a smash hit.

I wish I could have a job that was both fun and paid well.


Sweet.

Granted. However, it doesn't leave you enough time to work on Spycraft. Crafty fans revolt, and you are killed in a mutiny.

I wish "Spanish Inquisitior"s comfy chair power weren't so damned cheesy.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 11, 2008, 05:42:37 PM
I wish they would make a fighting game as high quality as DC vs Mortal Kombat starring Marvel characters instead.

Granted. Marvel vs. Monty Python is a smash hit.

I wish I could have a job that was both fun and paid well.


Sweet.

Granted. However, it doesn't leave you enough time to work on Spycraft. Crafty fans revolt, and you are killed in a mutiny.

I wish "Spanish Inquisitior"s comfy chair power weren't so damned cheesy.
Granted, you discover that the chair is merely to hold the victim in place long enough to recite Vogon poetry, starting with the epic Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit One Day.

I wish that Douglas Adams had written more books.

The Auld Grump, who really knows where his towel is.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 20, 2008, 06:40:33 PM
Granted. However, they were all books of depressing poetry, instead of his usual humor filled fun.

I wish I didn't have to shovel my driveway.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 21, 2008, 07:59:15 AM
Granted. Your neighbors come together as a community and shovel your driveway, now you have to shovel theirs.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 21, 2008, 08:13:14 AM
Granted. Unfortunately, you now hit your head on every doorway, the girl never calls you back, and the rabbit beats you up with the bat and steals your car. And what the hell is a baller?

I wish I had a winter home in the Carribean.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on December 21, 2008, 08:41:33 AM
(Ball=basket ball player)

Spoiler: Granted • show
Most of it is here, the rest is down the block. (http://www.itu.int/ITU-D/emergencytelecoms/events/CaribbeanForum/hurricaneIvan536b_USE.jpg)


I wish I had some more shot glasses made out of candy canes.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 21, 2008, 09:23:32 AM
Granted. However, they're really horrible tasting cinnamon-strawberry-cream candy canes. Three awesome flavors that should never be combined. Like anti-Voltron or something.

I wish I were smart enough to build the world's most efficient power source in a cave, with a box of scraps.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 21, 2008, 04:22:13 PM
Granted. However, they're really horrible tasting cinnamon-strawberry-cream candy canes. Three awesome flavors that should never be combined. Like anti-Voltron or something.

I wish I were smart enough to build the world's most efficient power source in a cave, with a box of scraps.
Granted! However, you weren't smart enough to make it the safest power source - the resulting crater is three miles wide, with a brand new volcano forming where the blast broke through the mantle.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 21, 2008, 11:24:08 PM
Granted. You now have two front teeth and no others.

I wish the Timeline movie was even half as good as the book.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on December 22, 2008, 01:30:47 AM
I wish the Timeline movie was even half as good as the book.

Congratulations. The book now stinks!

I wish I owned this cool Lord of the Rings chess set (http://www.noblecollection.com/catalog/product.cfm?id=NN2990&catid=17).
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on December 22, 2008, 01:40:45 AM
You. However it is the only thing you own.

I wish the US President was elected via gladatorial combat.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: ThunderMonkey on December 22, 2008, 06:56:42 AM
You. However it is the only thing you own.

I wish the US President was elected via gladatorial combat.

Wasn't that pretty much how they did it in "Idiocracy"? (A great, but scary movie by the way).
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 22, 2008, 08:28:47 PM
Granted. Jason Statham is now our president.

I wish I had a Nintendo Wii.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Morganti on December 23, 2008, 03:17:16 AM
Granted. Jason Statham is now our president.

I wish I had a Nintendo Wii.
Granted, now like every other loudmouth on the internet, you bemoan the lack of "hardcore" games, and the lack of hi def graphics from the waggle box.  after 15 minutes of use, it never is played again..

I wish I had my sunday gaming group back, so I could finish running the Endless Eternity cycle.

~D~
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on December 24, 2008, 02:46:34 PM
Granted. You have your group back, but they want to do an experiment of trying a different system every session. First up: FATAL.

I wish everyone would have a happy holiday season.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on January 01, 2009, 01:26:47 PM
Granted! However the rest of the year ahead will suck!

I wish that Uwe Boll would release a good movie!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on January 01, 2009, 02:53:54 PM
Granted. Inspired by his success, he goes on to make more and more horrible movies until the community at large lynches him.

I wish I had better friends.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on January 07, 2009, 08:59:19 PM
Granted! Now they are too good for you and start dating super models.

I wish I had an American built Rolls Royce!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Jake on January 07, 2009, 09:52:53 PM
Granted, Ford bought out BMW and has started production.

I wish Deadwood hadn't been canceled.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: ThunderMonkey on January 08, 2009, 06:31:31 AM
I wish Deadwood hadn't been canceled.

Granted... but for some odd reason... they casted Mary Kate Olsen.

I wished that Rupert Murdoch has a moment of clarity and realize that his FOX studio heads are douchebags. (can I use that word here?)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on January 08, 2009, 09:32:15 AM
(can I use that word here?)

While "studio head" is considered obscene to most fans, I think you're probably safe using it here. :P

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on January 08, 2009, 11:17:12 AM
I wished that Rupert Murdoch has a moment of clarity and realize that his FOX studio heads are douchebags. (can I use that word here?)

Granted, unfortunately the piss-pots hired to replace them are worse.

I wish I knew better than to make a wish here.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on January 08, 2009, 11:43:52 AM
I wish I knew better than to make a wish here.

Granted.  You just made your wish on /b/ on 4Chan.

I wish the bus could convincingly pretend to be on time.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on January 08, 2009, 07:26:51 PM
Granted. Now the trains are all late though.

I wish I hadn't stepped on that fish.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on January 09, 2009, 01:36:07 AM
I wish the bus could convincingly pretend to be on time.

Sadly, if they were always on time, I would usually miss them since I assume, quite correctly it seems, that they are going to be late.

I have a theory, but I never took the time to test it, that the actual time of a bus' arrival at a given stop can be determined by taking the average time of the previous and next times a bus is scheduled to stop there.  So if the schedule says a bus should be at your stop at noon and 12:45, you will see a bus arrive promptly at 12:22 and 30 seconds.

Now all I need is some empirical evidence to back that up.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 10, 2009, 06:31:59 PM
Granted. Now the trains are all late though.

I wish I hadn't stepped on that fish.
Granted! Instead, Tonio 'The Fish' Garbanzia has stepped on you.

I wish that I could sing like an angel.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 10, 2009, 08:17:44 PM
Granted. You sing like Loki from Dogma.

I wish I could keep a normal sleep schedule.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Salsa on February 10, 2009, 08:59:57 PM
Granted!
Now you're a plant.


I wish aliens could at least leave a note explaining why I wake up in the morning with small cuts that resemble cat scratches though I don't have one...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 10, 2009, 09:03:27 PM
Granted!
Now you're a plant.


I wish aliens could at least leave a note explaining why I wake up in the morning with small cuts that resemble cat scratches though I don't have one...
Granted! The aliens want a can of tuna, a bowl of milk, and their tummies rubbed.

I wish that the 4e and the GSL didn't suck!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 11, 2009, 12:25:46 PM
Granted. They blow instead.

I wish I had a Tardis.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Salsa on February 11, 2009, 01:27:20 PM
Granted. Now the trains are all late though.

I wish I hadn't stepped on that fish.
Granted! Instead, Tonio 'The Fish' Garbanzia has stepped on you.

I wish that I could sing like an angel.

The Auld Grump

I was gonna go for:
 
Granted, but now you also dance like David Boreanaz. :P

Sadly, I was late.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 11, 2009, 01:48:43 PM
Granted!  Unfortunately it only worked once, and now you're eating at Taco Bell with Sylvester Stalone and you still don't know how the 3 sea shells work...

I wish the goblins would come take you away.  Right now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: ThunderMonkey on February 11, 2009, 02:14:14 PM
Granted!  Unfortunately it only worked once, and now you're eating at Taco Bell with Sylvester Stalone and you still don't know how the 3 sea shells work...

I wish the goblins would come take you away.  Right now.

The goblin king comes and takes your baby brother, but now David Bowie is in love with you.

I wish I had a car that would drive me to work so that I can take a nap on the way home.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on February 11, 2009, 03:16:30 PM
Granted!  It drives you to work, then drives you to a tree while you nap.

I wish someone else would come up with the wishes.  (I just like corrupting them.  ;) )
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Salsa on February 11, 2009, 03:21:14 PM
Granted!

Though "someonelse" is registered in a different forum.

I wish this topic would come to an end. :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on February 11, 2009, 03:34:28 PM
Granted.  It just gets re-animated in the Story time section as things your character would wish for.  In two threads, Spymaster spoilers possible, and spoiler free. 

I wish the porkulus bill had not passed out of the Senate.   :'(
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 11, 2009, 04:59:53 PM
Granted.  Instead the senate building is fired on by Ice Cube in his jacked xXx army tank and Nick Cage steals the bill to protect our National Treasure.  Bills are instead passed to allow Arnold Schwartzenegger to become president...

I wish that they would put the Dinobots into the new Transformers movie.
 
Spoiler: show
Cause who else is gonna fight Devastator?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 12, 2009, 01:18:11 AM
Granted. Unfortunately, they screw them up so bad, Grimlock doesn't even speak in the third person or breathe fire. What's the point of a Dinobot that can't breathe fire?

I wish I could get a full nights sleep in an hour.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on February 12, 2009, 10:32:14 AM
Granted.  Instead the senate building is fired on by Ice Cube in his jacked xXx army tank and Nick Cage steals the bill to protect our National Treasure.  Bills are instead passed to allow Arnold Schwartzenegger to become president...
Better than reality already.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 12, 2009, 10:41:34 AM
Quote
Better than reality already.

Yeah, I know... that one is sadly more fun.  Except for the whole xXx 2 part...  *shudder*

Anyways...

Quote
I wish I could get a full nights sleep in an hour.

Granted.  But, while it only is one hour to you, everyone else experiences the full 8 hours.  You accidentally sleep in and end up missing days at a time.  Lets hope you don't fall into a coma...

I wish I had a cure for cancer and world hunger.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on February 12, 2009, 02:41:44 PM
I wish I had a cure for cancer and world hunger.

Already done  starve yourself long enough and cancer becomes irrelevant.

I wish my computer was still working.  :(
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 12, 2009, 05:32:22 PM
Granted, but now it's an Mac.

I wish we could double Pat's output without hurting quality (or Pat!).
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 12, 2009, 06:52:39 PM
Granted, but now it's an Mac.

I wish we could double Pat's output without hurting quality (or Pat!).
Granted! Pat now writes some of the highest quality romantic fiction on the planet - earning praise from Linda Hamilton!

I wish that I were a (much) better graphic artist!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on February 12, 2009, 07:51:28 PM
Granted!  Now if only a group besides the communist party would pay you for work you do for them.

I wish I could convince my girlfriend to cut back on the little things that piss me off no end.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 12, 2009, 08:17:13 PM
Granted. (INSULTING SEXUAL INNUENDO DELETED) She also cuts back on the little things you liked her to do.

I wish I won free tickets to a Who concert.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on February 12, 2009, 09:23:42 PM
Granted. (INSULTING SEXUAL INNUENDO DELETED) She also cuts back on the little things you liked her to do.

I wish I won free tickets to a Who concert.

Granted. They're for a show in Paris in 1968.

I wish I had a wish to stick here.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 12, 2009, 09:44:35 PM
Granted, but its' really lame.

I was about to wish for a time machine, till I realized I just did that not too long ago.. .hmmm. I wish my car loan was paid off.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on February 12, 2009, 10:48:50 PM
Granted. Pity your car got written off before you made the second repayment.

I wish the Punisher would go after the plurocrats of Wall Street
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on February 13, 2009, 05:15:10 AM
Granted.  He ignores the legislatures, and things manage to get even worse.

I wish beef jerky wasn't so ridiculously expensive.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: ThunderMonkey on February 13, 2009, 06:50:28 AM
Granted, but there's a new ingredient: Soylent Green.

I wish Battlestar Galactica would go on for at least another season.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on February 13, 2009, 07:02:51 AM
Granted. Galactica 2010 premeirs, focusing on Starbuck. ,some kids, and a souped up van.

I was I hadn't seen what that joke is based on.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on February 13, 2009, 09:41:30 AM
Granted, but now it's an Mac.

I can live with that.

Quote
I wish we could double Pat's output without hurting quality (or Pat!).

Should I be offended that I come second after my output? And in a parenthetical afterthought no less!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on February 13, 2009, 09:43:14 AM
Granted! Pat now writes some of the highest quality romantic fiction on the planet - earning praise from Linda Hamilton!

LOL!

Actually, I can live with that too...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on February 13, 2009, 10:26:53 AM
Granted. Galactica 2010 premeirs, focusing on Starbuck. ,some kids, and a souped up van.

I was I hadn't seen what that joke is based on.

Granted. Because your eyes have been gouged out with a blunt spoon.

I wish you'd share that joke with the rest of us.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on February 13, 2009, 11:20:53 AM
Granted. Look up Galactica 1980.

I wish someone had gouged my eyes out with a spoon to save me frome that.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 13, 2009, 11:35:31 AM
Granted. Look up Galactica 1980.

I wish someone had gouged my eyes out with a spoon to save me frome that.
Granted! Unfortunately they also broke your arms and legs, and when you were strapped to your hospital bed Galactica 1980 was all that was playing on the TV, and you couldn't even reach the remote....

I wish that Scrappy Doo had never piddled in my Scooby Doo!

The Auld Grump

*EDIT* An' ye deserved to have yer arms and legs broken ye bastiche, fer remindin' me o' Galactica 1980...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 18, 2009, 03:38:18 PM
Granted. Instead Scoobie was killed off and the show was changed to Scrappy Doo and friends, effectively defficating on Scooby instead of piddling on him.

I wish this thread would be moved to the Classic Threads forum when it falls off the first page.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on February 18, 2009, 03:42:55 PM
Granted (seriously - remind me down the line). Unfortunately, it never falls off the first page.

I wish Fantasy Craft were done. Nay, I wish each of you had it in your hands right... now. 
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 18, 2009, 03:53:26 PM
I'm kind of scared to grant this one poorly, because I don't want bad things to happen... but in the interest in the thread:

Granted. Unfortunately, we all get copies of it as it exists right now, unfinished and unedited. Also, the binding is even worse than the first run of the Second Printing. Massive dissatisfaction commences.

I wish it weren't snowing right now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 18, 2009, 05:07:54 PM
Granted, instead its been snowing for the last 20 years, only to have just now stopped.  You survey your landscape from the top of a 100 foot snow drift.

I wish that the computers here at work were good enough that I could use my Spycraft PDF and get some of my projects done.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 18, 2009, 05:18:09 PM
Granted. However, to afford new computers the company had to cut back personel, namely you.

I wish more places around here were open 24 hours.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on February 18, 2009, 06:08:51 PM
Too easy. They are per year.

I wish I could fall asleep easily at night and stay asleep until dawn.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 18, 2009, 06:12:39 PM
Granted. Unfortunatley, you cannot stay awake at all while the sun is down. Or, for that matter, totally obscured, barring you from entering windowless rooms ever again without insantly falling into a deep slumber. Like the badguy from Superman IV.

I wish they would make a Superman movie that doesn't suck.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Salsa on February 18, 2009, 09:24:28 PM
Granted. They have Kevin Smith do it, unfortunately there's almost no action in it. Everytime superman fights the bad guys he leaves the frame, you hear a bunch of punch sounds and he gets back just in time for his "punchline".

I wish they would make MiB 3 already and stop dicking around.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 18, 2009, 09:50:55 PM
Granted. It's even worse than MIB2.

And I don't care if Superman doesn't fight anyone if it still somehow manages not to suck after that. After all, there was almost no action in Lois and Clark, but that's still my favorite non-animated rendition of Superman.

I wish I owned the 90's animated Superman series on DVD.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 19, 2009, 12:10:21 AM
I wish I owned the 90's animated Superman series on DVD.

Granted - they're region 2 DVDs.

I wish Michael Bay would die now. Today.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 19, 2009, 12:29:41 AM
Granted. Michael Bay dies in a horrible nuclear holocost that kills 90% of Earth's population.

I wish snow never fell in my driveway.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on February 19, 2009, 03:29:04 AM
Granted. Michael Bay dies in a horrible nuclear holocost that kills 90% of Earth's population.

I wish snow never fell in my driveway.

Granted, but only because the same nuclear holocaust that killed of 90% of the Earth's population was centered on your house and there is no driveway left for snow to fall upon.

I wish I was immortal.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 19, 2009, 06:08:02 AM
I wish I was immortal.

Granted. You live forever, outlasting the human race by billions of years, alone on an empty planet until it is first scorched of all life and then consumed by the sun as it swells into a red giant.

And yet because you are immortal you live on, floating away from the sun's corona and into the darkness of interplanetary space, freezing and utterly alone. You see the end of the universe, when reality collapses in on itself during the big crunch into an infinitely small point.

And yet because you are immortal you live on, hundreds of trillions of years from now in the nothingness left behind in the absence of any reality at all. By this stage your mind is irrevocably broken, and you spend eternity twitching and gibbering in a blank grey void, soiling yourself and giggling quietly between bouts of violent sobbing.

[EDIT: In retrospect, damn this shit is bleak. I feel kinda bad writing it!]

I wish that pizza contained no calories, yet still tasted great.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Number Three on February 19, 2009, 09:10:17 AM
I wish that pizza contained no calories, yet still tasted great.

Granted.  You are now deathly allergic to all it's ingredients.

I wish D&D3.5 didn't suck so [loving caress] bad.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Valentina on February 19, 2009, 09:21:43 AM
I wish that pizza contained no calories, yet still tasted great.

Granted.  You are now deathly allergic to all it's ingredients.

I wish D&D3.5 didn't suck so [loving caress] bad.

It doesn't, because it was actually a GURPS supplement!
Unfortunately GURPS does suck, and in the introduction of D&D strangles both franchises, permanently crippling the industry when Hasbro dumps it to an overseas "investment group" who A) make a resoundingly mediocre spin-off MMO called World of Warcraft and B) turn out to have critical financial ties to Al-Qaeda which lights off a "RPG Gaming = Supporting Terrorism" frenzy -the mass arrests and successful prosecutions of thousands of tactically savvy gamers doesn't help.

I wish this were the last post for this topic.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 19, 2009, 12:49:59 PM
I wish this were the last post for this topic.

Granted - this message is just a post-script. So are all the hundreds of others underneath it.

I wish that chavs, bogans and pushy rednecks would all peacefully vanish from the face of the world, leaving the rest of us to enjoy existance without a vile unwashed subhuman group of dole dossers ruining it all for the rest of us.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 19, 2009, 01:16:22 PM
Granted, you can now enjoy the last 5 minutes of existance.  Looks like someone was way off base on the large Hadron collider math...

I wish that humanity would stop trying to kill itself with things like the Large Hadron Collider.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 19, 2009, 01:23:42 PM
I wish that humanity would stop trying to kill itself with things like the Large Hadron Collider.

Granted - it instead kills itself with a nuclear bombardment so spectacular that our shattered husk of a planet falls out of it's own orbit and soars off into a huge eliptical orbit to become a new (and massive) comet)

I wish grunge wan't dead.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 19, 2009, 01:28:19 PM
Granted. The Large Hadron Collider is used peacibly for many many years without ever a danger of humanities death (seriously). They instead kill themselves with good old fasioned rocks on sticks.

EDIT: Stupid posts while I was typing.

Granted. Grunge isn't dead. Nirvana just released its 15th album. Grunge has replaced all other forms of music everywhere. Bands from other genre's form a mass rebellion, and use mystical means (granted to them by their satanic pacts) to find out why their genre's have died. Knowing this, you are killed by an alliance of rappers and country music stars.

I wish there were more food in the house.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 19, 2009, 01:33:10 PM
Knowing this, you are killed by an alliance of rappers and country music stars.

If this was RPG.net you'd just have got a laugh point. I just spat pepsi on my monitor - thanks.  ;D

I wish there were more food in the house.

Granted - it's all rotten and riddled with maggots.

I wish I could walk around in the summer without SPF 50 on and enjoy the weather like everyone else...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 19, 2009, 01:54:55 PM
Granted. You can between the hours of 9PM and 5AM (also known as nighttime).

I wish I could get free food from the local sub shop.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 19, 2009, 07:12:42 PM
Granted. You can between the hours of 9PM and 5AM (also known as nighttime).

I wish I could get free food from the local sub shop.
Granted! They hand deliver the stale, leftover food to the cardboard box in the alley next to their shop - the one you call 'home'.

I wish that I knew how to play the hammered dulcimer.

The Auld Grump, with three hammers per hand, yet. :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on February 19, 2009, 10:19:40 PM
Granted, You knew how to play it like a pro, three hammers and everything.  Alas, that was before the Alzheimers took over, and now you have a hard time remembering who you are.

I wish I knew what that FATAL game was.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 20, 2009, 01:13:37 AM
I wish I knew what that FATAL game was.

Granted. You do.

I wish that more people liked playing Wraith: the Oblivion.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on February 20, 2009, 02:17:21 AM
Quote from: glimmerrat
I wish that chavs, bogans and pushy rednecks would all peacefully vanish from the face of the world, leaving the rest of us to enjoy existance without a vile unwashed subhuman group of dole dossers ruining it all for the rest of us.

The correct answer is: The Rapture takes place as scheduled, and they're the only ones that are taken.

I wish I knew what that FATAL game was.

Granted. You do.

Niiiice.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on February 20, 2009, 02:21:17 AM
Quote from: Bill Whitmore
I wish I was immortal.

Granted:
(http://picturepoetry.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/galactus_crop.jpg)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 20, 2009, 04:14:31 AM
I wish I knew what that FATAL game was.

Granted. You do.

I wish that more people liked playing Wraith: the Oblivion.

Granted. It's now the most popular game in the females 5-11 demographic.

I wish I DIDN'T know what FATAL was.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 20, 2009, 04:18:47 AM
Granted - you are lobotomised. Really, a cranial drill and a pair of forceps are the only way to unlearn wtf that damn game actually is.

I wish that Dark Angel hadn't been cancelled because of Firefly.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 20, 2009, 04:33:24 AM
Granted. Now Firefly never existed. You suck I hate you.  Also, Dark Angel was cancelled anyway for a much, much worse show.

I wish people would stop standing in the way of scientific progress due to their own ignorance.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on February 20, 2009, 09:52:54 AM
Granted. Now people stand in the way of scientific progress because of religion.

Oh hold on, wait...

I wish Firefly had more than one season so I could find out River's story properly without ramming it into an overbudget poorly written movie that did a bad thing.

Spoiler: show
He killed off Wash and Shepherd Book.


Bastard Joss Whedon.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 20, 2009, 10:12:33 AM
Granted. Now people stand in the way of scientific progress because of religion.

Oh hold on, wait...

I wish Firefly had more than one season so I could find out River's story properly without ramming it into an overbudget poorly written movie that killed off Wash and Shepherd Book. Bastard Joss Whedon.

Dude, spoilers. I'm fairly sure that everyone on this forum has seen Serenity already, but just in case. If you're one of the ones that hasn't GO WATCH FIREFLY!

Granted. Firefly now has six seasons, each focusing on a different Firefly-class ship in the same Verse. You still don't get to see the end of River's story.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 21, 2009, 08:25:10 PM
Granted. Now people stand in the way of scientific progress because of religion.

Oh hold on, wait...

I wish Firefly had more than one season so I could find out River's story properly without ramming it into an overbudget poorly written movie that killed off Wash and Shepherd Book. Bastard Joss Whedon.

Dude, spoilers. I'm fairly sure that everyone on this forum has seen Serenity already, but just in case. If you're one of the ones that hasn't GO WATCH FIREFLY!

Granted. Firefly now has six seasons, each focusing on a different Firefly-class ship in the same Verse. You still don't get to see the end of River's story.
And your wish is?

The Auld Grump, who did not see Firefly until the series had been canceled. :(
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on February 22, 2009, 08:10:26 PM
D'oh!

I wish I didn't have to think up so many wishes.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on February 22, 2009, 09:08:27 PM
D'oh!

I wish I didn't have to think up so many wishes.
Granted! The frontal lobotomy was a success, the only questions that matter now are 'wha?'' and 'huh?'

I wish that I could convince my players to try my WWI steampunk campaign.

The Auld Grump, though WWI is pretty close to steampunk in a lot of ways, anyway.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 22, 2009, 04:51:24 PM
D'oh!

I wish I didn't have to think up so many wishes.
Granted! The frontal lobotomy was a success, the only questions that matter now are 'wha?'' and 'huh?'

I wish that I could convince my players to try my WWI steampunk campaign.

The Auld Grump, though WWI is pretty close to steampunk in a lot of ways, anyway.
Granted! I end up killing all their characters in a gas attack during the first twenty minutes of the game!*

I wish that I hadn't killed the topic....

The Auld Grump, granting your own wish is off somehow....

*No, I didn't really do this. I still haven't managed to convince them that WWI might be a fun setting. :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 22, 2009, 06:59:52 PM
Granted! Instead, you prevented it from achieving near godhood by resuscitating it rather than just PMing Pat to put it in classics.

I wish that girl I met last week would call me...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on March 22, 2009, 07:03:20 PM
I wish that girl I met last week would call me...

She does! She informs you that she is from the IRS and you have won the lottery to have your taxes audited.

I wish that I could get rid of whatever virus is going around my house.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 22, 2009, 08:37:09 PM
Granted! It goes global, turning everyone except you into flesh eating zombies!

I wish that a good, scary Frankenstein movie was coming out!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 22, 2009, 08:45:02 PM
Granted. It is a movie of the ten most horrifying films you've ever seen stitched together in an unholy semblance of life.

I wish I never had to pay taxes again.
(Bonus to anyone who corrupts this in the way I'm thinking it should be corrupted).
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on March 22, 2009, 09:52:20 PM
Bang. You're dead.

I wish I was a successful Hollywood mogul able to greenlight any picture that excited my dark geekish heart
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 22, 2009, 09:59:21 PM
Seriously, why do all wishes have to end in death? The correct answer (and much more horrifying, if you think on it) is "Granted. You never earn any money, nor own any taxable property for the rest of your life."

Granted. You greenlight many a picture that has great geeky promise, but the production crews constantly screw it up and make the drafts you greenlit go through rewrites until they're not recognizable anymore. The movies still make money, but you never get to see the movies you want to see.

I wish people were more creative with their wish corruptions.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on March 22, 2009, 11:36:27 PM
Seriously, why do all wishes have to end in death?

I wish people were more creative with their wish corruptions.

Unfortunately the wish is granted, posthumously so you never get to read any of them.

I wish I had a completed, fully-armed and operational battlestation capable of taking a torpedo hit in an exhaust port without blowing up.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 23, 2009, 01:04:20 AM
Seriously, why do all wishes have to end in death?

I wish people were more creative with their wish corruptions.

Unfortunately the wish is granted, posthumously so you never get to read any of them.

I wish I had a completed, fully-armed and operational battlestation capable of taking a torpedo hit in an exhaust port without blowing up.
Granted, and the ship is placed in Delta Squadron, under command of Captain John 'Bluto' Blutarsky. Togas are optional.

I wish that I had a time machine!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Nepenthe on March 23, 2009, 05:21:28 AM
Unfortunately the wish is granted, posthumously so you never get to read any of them.

I wish I had a completed, fully-armed and operational battlestation capable of taking a torpedo hit in an exhaust port without blowing up.

Granted. Unfortunately, due to a defence contractor failure, the battlestation blows up completely by itself, taking a sizeable chunk of your "space fleet" with its "laser".

Yesterday upon the stairs, I met a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish, he'd go away.

Edit: Oh. Great. Another page. Never mind me.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 23, 2009, 11:19:22 AM
Granted. Auld Grump uses his time machine to leave Nepenthe's stairwell, but ends up accidentally rewriting time so that apes now controll everything and humans are a slave race. Great going guys.

I wish I knew someone who didn't know the ending of Planet of the Apes, so I could show them the movie and see if they figure out the twist before the reveal...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 23, 2009, 03:54:20 PM
Granted. Auld Grump uses his time machine to leave Nepenthe's stairwell, but ends up accidentally rewriting time so that apes now controll everything and humans are a slave race. Great going guys.

I wish I knew someone who didn't know the ending of Planet of the Apes, so I could show them the movie and see if they figure out the twist before the reveal...
Granted! But a five year old is more interested in the monkeys than the plot.

I wish that I had enough money to buy an elephant! (Not that I plan on wasting the money to actually buy an elephant....)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 23, 2009, 07:18:13 PM
Granted. Elephants are now free. Of course, liscensing and feeding them is another issue...

I wish I could be nice to kids on the street without their parents thinking I'm a child molester.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on March 23, 2009, 07:22:23 PM
granted, welcome to your new job mickey mouse at the new Disney land Somalia

i wish i had enough time and money to go see watchmen.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 23, 2009, 07:24:05 PM
Granted. Elephants are now free. Of course, liscensing and feeding them is another issue...

I wish I could be nice to kids on the street without their parents thinking I'm a child molester.
Granted! Now you are a child molester, but the parents never suspect you. (Sorry, that was an icky one. :( )

I wish that I had a functioning ornithopter, steam powered and big enough to carry two! (Cause nothing is more romantic than taking your gel for a hop in the old ornithopter.)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 23, 2009, 07:25:57 PM
That was weird - normally when two posts are going up at nearly the same time one of them gets a notice. In this case it should have been me.  ???

The Auld Grump, beaten to it by two seconds?!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 23, 2009, 07:28:45 PM
granted, welcome to your new job mickey mouse at the new Disney land Somalia

i wish i had enough time and money to go see watchmen.

Granted. It is now out of theaters, however.

I wish Auld Grump would stop making my job so difficult  :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on March 23, 2009, 08:10:08 PM
Granted.  The Auld Grump found robots to replace you.  Enjoy your time on the dole.

I wish I knew where to buy good Smithfield ham north of the Mason-Dixon line.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 26, 2009, 02:23:28 PM
Granted.  The Auld Grump found robots to replace you.  Enjoy your time on the dole.

I wish I knew where to buy good Smithfield ham north of the Mason-Dixon line.
Granted! But only because Virginia annexes Pennsylvania as the opening move in a game of world domination.

Now I get to use my Ornithopter wish!
I wish that I had a functioning ornithopter, steam powered and big enough to carry two! ('Cause nothing is more romantic than taking your gel for a hop in the old ornithopter.)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on March 27, 2009, 06:51:13 AM
Granted, except you're now a fictional character in a book who dies three pages later at the whim of a hack author.

I wish I enjoyed my job.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on March 27, 2009, 10:37:57 AM
Granted, but they cut your pay/hours to the point you either need to develop a fondness for cat food or get a second job. Then they eliminate your benefits. Inflation spikes, reducing the spending power of what little your job pays. Rumors swirl around the workplace regarding the impending demise of the company. Management denies any weakness in the company, then awards themselves large retention bonuses.

I wish the damned pigeons would stop crapping all over my patio furniture.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 27, 2009, 10:53:03 AM
Granted. The Pigeons stop, but the Crows more than make up for the slack.

EDIT: Forgot to add a wish.

I wish I could fly.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: NezMaster on March 27, 2009, 04:42:51 PM
Granted.

*Splat*
*Crash*
Oh...did you want to be able to STOP?

I wish my wierd dreams would stop...

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 27, 2009, 04:52:32 PM
Granted. You no longer dream.

I wish my comics would arrive on time.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on March 27, 2009, 08:12:22 PM
They do, and the Post Office has thoughtfully provided plastic bags. Of course, that's SOP when a mail truck catches fire and is doused by quick-acting fire techs. (True story, though not with comics.)

I wish my boy was old enough to have a telephonic conversation; I miss that little bastard.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on March 28, 2009, 12:57:18 AM
They do, and the Post Office has thoughtfully provided plastic bags. Of course, that's SOP when a mail truck catches fire and is doused by quick-acting fire techs. (True story, though not with comics.)

I wish my boy was old enough to have a telephonic conversation; I miss that little bastard.

Walter

Damn, I was going to answer this one, but the respone I had made me feel bad, so I decided not too.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on March 28, 2009, 04:05:56 AM
Quote from: MugMug
I wish my boy was old enough to have a telephonic conversation; I miss that little bastard.

I totally read that as telepathic for something like 10 seconds
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on March 28, 2009, 10:00:40 AM
Damn, I was going to answer this one, but the respone I had made me feel bad, so I decided not too.

I do appreciate your sensitivity, Bill, but I did put my boy into play. I trust you guys to keep things reasonable (e.g. making a call out from the inside of a whale would be fine; making tearful ransom calls when kidnapped by a paedophile... not so much).

If it helps, we're only apart for a few weeks (as opposed to having lost a custody battle, being deployed overseas, or similar). I'll be in Germany for a short assignment and can't bring my family ($), so my wife is taking the opportunity to take the kids to her parents for a few weeks of visiting the extended family.

I totally read that as telepathic for something like 10 seconds

Telepathic would be cool, too. :P

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on March 28, 2009, 04:09:17 PM
They do, and the Post Office has thoughtfully provided plastic bags. Of course, that's SOP when a mail truck catches fire and is doused by quick-acting fire techs. (True story, though not with comics.)

I wish my boy was old enough to have a telephonic conversation; I miss that little bastard.

Walter

Ok, this is more mean towards you than your boy, and if you are anything like me the skin is thicker at comments directed personally than at loved ones, so I'll run with it.

Granted, unfortunately that means he has had to grow up extremely fast in the short time you have been away and you missed much of his childhood.  Also, since you missed some birthdays in there, even now that he can call you, he doesn't really want to.

I just finished an Ice Hockey class and I found out just how bad I am at skating, so I really just wish I could skate well.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 29, 2009, 08:18:54 AM
Granted, you can now rollerskate extreamly well. You still bite at ice skating though.

I wish the weather were nicer.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on March 29, 2009, 10:16:10 AM
I wish the weather were nicer.

Granted.  The weather decides to be nicer to you specifically and pets you with an icy hand the size of a VW microbus.

I wish I had more money, without devaluing the currency.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on March 29, 2009, 10:47:15 AM
I wish I had more money, without devaluing the currency.

Granted, just make sure that penny is showing heads before you pick it up off the street.

I wish I was omniscient.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on March 29, 2009, 12:32:52 PM
You are. You now know everything, including all the shitty things that everyone thinks of you, when and why you'll get fired (even though you can't avoid it) and even how sweet old granny likes it in the bedroom. You get to be witness to every time it happens. Enjoy!

I wish babies didn't cry so darn much.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on March 30, 2009, 03:18:01 AM
I wish babies didn't cry so darn much.

Granted. Instead they projectile vomit instead. Twice whenever you're 'within range'.

I wish that people I work with had the guts to actually tell me to my face that they think I have a bad 'work ethic'.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 30, 2009, 09:19:37 AM
Granted. Your boss now gets enough nerve to fire you for your bad work ethic.

I wish I could play games more often than I run them.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Nepenthe on March 30, 2009, 09:57:09 AM
I wish that people I work with had the guts to actually tell me to my face that they think I have a bad 'work ethic'.

Not to derail, but I just went through something like this at two previous jobs (that were sort of related). The fact that I was considerably better and more productive in spite of it didn't endear me to my co-workers...  ::)

Now back to your scheduled corrupting :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 30, 2009, 07:21:19 PM
Granted. Your boss now gets enough nerve to fire you for your bad work ethic.

I wish I could play games more often than I run them.
Granted! You quickly realize however that you would rather run games. (Gods know, I have been there.)

I wish that I was better at improvising.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 30, 2009, 07:54:58 PM
Granted. You now suck at any kind of planning though. Good luck getting through life.

I wish Futurama hadn't been canceled.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 30, 2009, 08:35:24 PM
Granted. You now suck at any kind of planning though. Good luck getting through life.

I wish Futurama hadn't been canceled.
I dunno, some folks seem to get by with little to no planning whatsoever....
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2319/2253725247_d5bb4ed563_o.png)

Granted! However the new CSI: Futurama is a huge failure.

I wish that I had the time to run my CSI: Arkham game!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on March 30, 2009, 08:41:08 PM
Granted!  Your subtle machinations are ruthlessly derailed, it it really derailing if you burn the ties, by trigger happy gun bunnies.  (And I still want to join one of your games.)

I wish I understood a bit more about my girl.  (I ain't even reaching for understanding women, that would just make a mess when my head exploded.)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 30, 2009, 09:17:50 PM
Granted. Your newfound understanding makes her suspicious, leading to a downward spiral till she dumps you.

I wish I could have my old job at the Math Center back.

(PS: I'd totally watch CSI: Futurama)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on March 31, 2009, 12:29:39 AM
Granted, except the place is knocked down the following day, making you jobless again.

I wish i didn't have to worry about the prospect that my dogs are gonna die in about 10 years, devastating my wife and son.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 31, 2009, 08:53:43 AM
Granted, they die now.

I wish I could get my friends as excited about Spycraft as they are about some other games that shall not be named...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on March 31, 2009, 01:26:19 PM
I wish I could get my friends as excited about Spycraft as they are about some other games that shall not be named...

Granted, but now your friends have lost all interest in those "other games that shall not be named" and their excitement for Spycraft follows suit.

I wish that, when I wished upon a shooting star, it really would come true.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on March 31, 2009, 01:30:02 PM
Granted - your wish comes true, shortly before the meteorite that you wished upon obliterates you and everyone within half a mile.

I wish that i got paid more.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 31, 2009, 04:47:10 PM
Granted - your wish comes true, shortly before the meteorite that you wished upon obliterates you and everyone within half a mile.

I wish that i got paid more.
Granted, but do to the total collapse of the world economy the three million dollars an hour that you are now making is just enough to rent a cardboard box on Skidder's Row, Seattle.

I wish I could come up with a rhyme for 'orange' that wasn't door hinge, or something equally strained. :P

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on March 31, 2009, 06:40:30 PM
Granted. Blorange is now a word, and it means "I am a sucky poet".

I wish I had more snacks in the house...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on March 31, 2009, 06:49:59 PM
Granted. Blorange is now a word, and it means "I am a sucky poet".

I wish I had more snacks in the house...
Granted! But you will have to fight Scooby and Shaggy for them.

I wish that I had never heard of Nattō.

The Auld Grump, this can only end badly....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 01, 2009, 12:16:46 AM
Granted - Japan never existed, irrevocably altering reality to the point that you never existed, hence your wish was never made. Japan pops back into existance (along with those beans you seem to hate) and reality is ripped apart by a time-space paradox. Nice one.

I wish more Christians practised what they preach - i.e. tolerance.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 01, 2009, 07:15:49 AM
I wish more Christians practised what they preach - i.e. tolerance.

Granted.  They become more judgmental about things that should not be tolerated and start wars with countries deemed "salvageable."  (The unsalvageable countries just become slightly radioactive cinders, they should be ready for occupation in a couple centuries.)

I wish it was a bit warmer in my office.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 01, 2009, 12:44:36 PM
Granted. Management decides to save office space by moving a coworker into your office with you. He's fat, smelly, and most of all, a good source of heat.

I wish Nerf made guns that don't require reloading every twelve seconds.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: gaghiel42 on April 01, 2009, 04:42:00 PM
Granted, and it turns out as marvelously as you could dream.  No reprecussions at all...


...


....


April Fools! :P

They discover a way to create infinite ammo codes for Nerf guns... there are alas two problems.  First is that now the world is slowly filling with seas of nerf foam balls and suction cup arrows.  The second is, in order for the infinite ammo to work, they had to reveal to you that yes, indeed we are in the matrix...  Agents are en route to take you out and then restart the program.

I wish I could find a good job that isn't manual labor or in the food industry...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on April 01, 2009, 07:22:34 PM
granted, welcome to retail.

i wish that i had a better house.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on April 01, 2009, 08:06:49 PM
i wish that i had a better house.

Granted. You have a beautiful house on the east coast of Florida. It will be wiped out by the first major hurricane of the season.

I wish I were a chess Grandmaster.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 01, 2009, 11:46:13 PM
Granted. You are - you're also such a hopeless nerd that you'll never have sex again and no-one (and i mean not even other nerds) will speak to you. Enjoy your empty, meaningless, chess-filled existance.

I wish Crafty could afford to produce print copies of all of thier PDFs.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on April 01, 2009, 11:48:55 PM
I wish Crafty could afford to produce print copies of all of thier PDFs.

What's the protocol in this thread when wishes actually come true (http://www.crafty-games.com/node/781)?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 02, 2009, 05:27:52 AM
What's the protocol in this thread when wishes actually come true (http://www.crafty-games.com/node/781)?

The internet implodes.  The vengeful mobs surround y'all's houses with pitchforks and torches. :o
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on April 02, 2009, 05:45:09 AM
What's the protocol in this thread when wishes actually come true (http://www.crafty-games.com/node/781)?

The internet implodes.  The vengeful mobs surround y'all's houses with pitchforks and torches. :o

Well then, back to your regularly scheduled wish corruption, already in progress...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 02, 2009, 06:20:08 AM
I meant individually, as they were written.  :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Crafty_Pat on April 02, 2009, 06:21:37 AM
I meant individually, as they were written.  :P

A 6-page print product!?! :o
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 02, 2009, 06:24:09 AM
Paper back of course. Hey! Someone wished to be immortal - i can make my wishes as silly and unreasonable as i want!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on April 02, 2009, 07:00:52 AM
So Crafty should get into the pamphlet business now?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 02, 2009, 07:45:14 AM
*sigh* forget it. Someone else better post up another one then, huh?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on April 02, 2009, 07:48:29 AM
Fine.

Be that way.

Crafty starts releasing each PDF in print form. However, in order to make it work they scale back the release... um... schedule.... yeah, let's go with schedule to one PDF a year so they can fill the book.

I wish people wouldn't give up on their insane, ludicrous dreams. ;)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 02, 2009, 02:04:50 PM
Fine.

Be that way.

Crafty starts releasing each PDF in print form. However, in order to make it work they scale back the release... um... schedule.... yeah, let's go with schedule to one PDF a year so they can fill the book.

I wish people wouldn't give up on their insane, ludicrous dreams. ;)
Granted! I proceed to conquer the world with my warrior robot race!

I wish that good book series wouldn't start to suck after a while.

The Auld Grump, I will do my best to teach them about life and what it's worth.
I only hope that I can keep them from destroying the Earth!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on April 02, 2009, 02:54:14 PM
Granted! I proceed to conquer the world with my warrior robot race!

I wish that good book series wouldn't start to suck after a while.

The Auld Grump, I will do my best to teach them about life and what it's worth.
I only hope that I can keep them from destroying the Earth!

Granted, but you are thwarted by a recovering mad scientist turned cop and Mars.

I wish Kzin could find a printer for the second book.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 02, 2009, 03:05:43 PM
Granted! I proceed to conquer the world with my warrior robot race!

I wish that good book series wouldn't start to suck after a while.

The Auld Grump, I will do my best to teach them about life and what it's worth.
I only hope that I can keep them from destroying the Earth!

Granted, but you are thwarted by a recovering mad scientist turned cop and Mars.

I wish Kzin could find a printer for the second book.
Heh - that wasn't my wish, but I like the one you granted better, so I'll take it. It's a miracle of science!

Granted! Larry Niven's Kzin print their second volume in 'To Serve Man.'  (Plains apes!)

I wish that miniatures weren't getting so very expensive.

The Auld Grump, who considers himself more of a mad engineer....

*ASIDE* I had not realized that the second volume hadn't been printed yet. :(
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on April 02, 2009, 03:50:46 PM
I wish that miniatures weren't getting so very expensive.

Granted. We go back to the early days of GW and Warzone/Chronopia where models were cheaper, but also looked like shite in comparison.

I wish I didn't have to sleep as much as I do (6-7 hours on average), thus enabling me to get more completed in a day.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on April 02, 2009, 03:52:13 PM
If I remember the sorid details, the source PDF is too large for LuLu and no one else he can find does high quliuty color PoD.

I may be wrong, it's been a while since the game HARP WIlderlands I'm in with him has run.

Oh, and I must have screwed up my post in pursuit of a joke:

Granted, they all suck from the get go.

Granted, all mini manufacuters switch to unpainted corn starch plastic that won't take paint and falls apart when exposed to atmospheric moisture.

I wish GM of the above game's job would stop kicking his ass so he could actually run his game. I miss seeing him and Kzin.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 03, 2009, 06:38:39 AM
I wish GM of the above game's job would stop kicking his ass so he could actually run his game. I miss seeing him and Kzin.

Granted.  His job now has him on meathooks and you have to go play in the office.

I wish the guys who made Warzone hadn't gone out of business right when their minis started getting good.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 03, 2009, 11:05:33 AM
Granted, they went out of business right before the minis started getting good.

I wish they'd reprint RoboRally and all of its expansions.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 07, 2009, 05:15:56 PM
Granted, they went out of business right before the minis started getting good.

I wish they'd reprint RoboRally and all of its expansions.
Granted! However they do so as part of their Digital Initiative, and is only available sporadically due to problems with the computer.

I wish that there was enough information on The Commonwealth in Fallout 3 to run a campaign there.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 07, 2009, 09:52:07 PM
Granted. However, all your players insist that they'll only play FATAL from now on.

I wish I had more lasagna.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 11, 2009, 11:50:56 AM
I wish people wouldn't give up on their insane, ludicrous dreams. ;)
Speaking of which... A few months ago I dreamed that I was singing The Mariner's Revenge Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaNV7eCU2R0) with my girlfriend (an insane, ludicrous song if ever there was one). And last week I did. :) (I blew off three games to do so. It had been a while since I had seen her. :) )

Now, back to our regularly scheduled wish derailment:
Granted. However, all your players insist that they'll only play FATAL from now on.

I wish I had more lasagna.
Granted! You now look suspiciously like a fat orange cat with big eyes and a sarcastic bent.....

I wish that WotC management wasn't being such a bunch of [REDACTED FOR REASONS OF NATIONAL SECURITY]!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 11, 2009, 03:41:05 PM
Granted. Hasboro decides that WotC isn't profitable enough, and dissolves the company, making it so WotC doesn't even have management.

I wish I had a production budget for my games so I could do fake news clips for my players.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 11, 2009, 06:51:56 PM
Granted! But you enjoy doing the fake news clips so much and do so well with them that it becomes your day job, and you no longer have any time for gaming. (Kind of a happy one there, I guess....)

I wish that I knew how to use Photoshop! (I mean all of it....)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 12, 2009, 11:24:01 AM
Granted. However, as soon as you learn it all, Adobe releases a newer version with a completely different setup that becomes the industry standard. Your skills with the old version are now useless.

I wish I could remember what I wanted to wish for.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 12, 2009, 11:34:33 AM
Granted. However, as soon as you learn it all, Adobe releases a newer version with a completely different setup that becomes the industry standard. Your skills with the old version are now useless.

I wish I could remember what I wanted to wish for.
Granted! You wish for, an ummm, what was the question again? :P

I wish that D&D wasn't cursed with companies that have management that become idiots after a few years. (TSR, WotC.... Grrrr....)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 18, 2009, 01:01:35 AM
I wish that D&D wasn't cursed with companies that have management that become idiots after a few years. (TSR, WotC.... Grrrr....)

Granted! D&D is instead cursed with companies who have management that are idiots from the outset.

I wish UK TV showed more NHL and NFL matches instead of nothing but shitty highlight reels and games involving teams that I don't like.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 18, 2009, 04:45:18 PM
Granted! NFL switches to rugby, and NHL switches to curling, but now UK television shows nothing but NFL and NHL.But at least it's better than cricket.

I wish that I could flip an omelette without half of it heading straight to the floor/stove/wall/sink... (Rather an immediate wish, this. I just had to mop the floor because of a failed attempt that somebody activated as a critical failure....)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 19, 2009, 04:48:50 AM
Granted! It hits the ceiling instead.

I wish my boss would spontaneously combust. At home, away from me.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Pheonyx on May 19, 2009, 08:00:25 AM
Granted! It hits the ceiling instead.

I wish my boss would spontaneously combust. At home, away from me.

Granted... but the ensuing fire burns down the whole area, including your place of work and you are now unemployed.

I wish that I could have a vacation and not have to come back to work with a billion things changing when I return to work.


Ashes to ashes,
Pheonyx
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 19, 2009, 10:06:41 AM
Granted! You come back to work and TWO billion things have changed. Unable to keep up with the massive workload you are fired, and end up working as a meth-addicted man whore on the streets of your home town.

I wish that sprouts didn't taste so yucky.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 19, 2009, 09:52:54 PM
Granted! After a fainting spell the smelling salts used to revive you kills your sense of smell. Now everything tastes like damp cardboard, and sprouts are no worse than anything else.

I wish that I would find a million dollar lottery ticket lying in the street!

The Auld Grump, who likes sprouts - alfalfa, bean, and Brussels.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 19, 2009, 11:49:35 PM
Granted! It's already been cashed by it's rightful owner.

I wish the human race would take it's head out of it's collective ass and deal with the issue of climate change in a positive way.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 21, 2009, 06:23:56 AM
Granted! It's already been cashed by it's rightful owner.

I wish the human race would take it's head out of it's collective ass and deal with the issue of climate change in a positive way.
You need a new wish, that's already in progress.
-or-
Attempts to control the sun cause it to go nova a few billion years ahead of schedule.

I wish The Communist Manifesto and Keynesian economic theory were over in the fiction section where they belong.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 21, 2009, 06:42:34 AM
Granted! They're all part of a big book that contains... well, everything. Including you. You're now a fictional character in a really boring overly-long book that no-one wants to read. Enjoy collecting dust.

I wish the Seahawks didn't suck so badly at the moment.  :'(
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on May 21, 2009, 04:39:13 PM
Granted. They've always sucked, so their current run isn't actually that bad.

I wish political debate was actually decided by gladatorial combat instead of corrupt and venal spokespeople for plutocrats
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 21, 2009, 05:25:33 PM
Granted. They've always sucked, so their current run isn't actually that bad.

I wish political debate was actually decided by gladiatorial combat instead of corrupt and venal spokespeople for plutocrats
Granted! Unfortunately this allows Uwe Boll to enter the polical arena, besting Republicans and Democrats alike with his bare fisted pugilism. He proves just as effective at running a country as he is at making movies.

I wish that the physics in the new Star Trek had made sense....

The Auld Grump -
Spoiler: show
Red matter - it's a black hole. In a bucket!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 21, 2009, 08:38:03 PM
I wish that the physics in the new Star Trek had made sense....
Granted.  Now the medication that we all need costs $73 for each pill, and we need two a day.

I wish someone would throw in a list of wishes so I wouldn't have to spend more time coming up with a wish than I spent fulfilling the previous wish.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 21, 2009, 11:40:30 PM
Granted! Everyone else gets bored of the thread and stops posting. Enjoy.

I wish that I could fly, without the use of launchers, vehicles and wacky inventions to accelerate me to ballistic speeds...

[As a side note, every time I post about my boss or my job, people seem to miss that I work in a High School. It's impossible for it to go bankrupt or out of business, and even if it burns to the ground or is permanently closed for some reason I still get paid until the local education authority relocate me to a new site]
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dr Yes on May 22, 2009, 04:16:47 AM
Granted! Unfortunately if we let you fly, we have to let everyone else fly as well as part of the whole equality thing.  The skys are now a 24 hour traffic jam, people keep colliding and landing on your roof while your trying to sleep, and the usual attention seeking types are now hovering around (literally) even more visible then before.

I wish I had more time available to do the things I enjoy.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 22, 2009, 04:09:30 PM
Granted! Unfortunately if we let you fly, we have to let everyone else fly as well as part of the whole equality thing.  The skys are now a 24 hour traffic jam, people keep colliding and landing on your roof while your trying to sleep, and the usual attention seeking types are now hovering around (literally) even more visible then before.

I wish I had more time available to do the things I enjoy.

Granted. You're Fired.

I wish I owned all the oil in Kuwait.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 23, 2009, 06:55:09 AM
Granted. You're Fired.

Nice - I actually laughed at that one...  ;D

I wish I owned all the oil in Kuwait.

Granted - you do. At the head of your mercenary army you conquer Kuwait in fairly short order, taking charge of the oil and using the profits you make to pay off your men. Everything is going well until Stormin' Norman Schwartkopf comes out of retirement to supervise Operation Desert Storm: Redux. You're arrested, tried and executed as a war criminal, then the rich Kuwaitis get their oil back.

I wish hayfever and asthma didn't exist so my little boy didn't have to endure such discomfort at such a young age.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 23, 2009, 11:11:12 AM
I wish hayfever and asthma didn't exist so my little boy didn't have to endure such discomfort at such a young age.

Granted. But then as these malladies* don't exist, I can operate at full power, teleport everywhere I want to and I eat kids under 10 years of age... three times a day.  ;D

I wish all the white collar criminals behind the world crises were duely punished.



**P.S.: as an allergic semi asthmatic guy, who started at around 10 I know how bad it is to suffer from it.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 23, 2009, 01:12:57 PM
I wish all the white collar criminals behind the world crises were duely punished.

Granted! As the heads of state in nearly every country in the world are now either in prison or dead, society swiftly collapses into a semi-anarchic mess. It stays this way for 6 months until some military or another decides to take over thier respective country in a coup. A neighbouring country's military panics and presses the big red button, triggering world war III which lasts for approximately 18 hours. After that, civilization as we would recognise it vanishes forever.

Your smoking cinder of a planet that is irradiated and blanketed in global nuclear winter is thankfully free of corrupt bureaucrats and white collar crime.

I wish I could afford pizza right now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dr Yes on May 23, 2009, 09:28:51 PM
Granted! Going through your stuff you find an old birthday card from a much loved but absent relative with $20 inside.  Written in the card is "... get yourself something nice from me, but don't spend it on PIZZA!".  Wracked with guilt you are unable to use it for pizza, instead buying a large portion of fried chicken, which you find tasty but ultimately not as satisfying as pizza. Mmmmmm pizza.

Now that I've been fired (see above - lol) I wish I could get paid for doing something that I really enjoyed.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 24, 2009, 07:26:00 AM
Granted! You get paid a penny a week for surfing the internet.

I wish my son woud just. Go. To sleep.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 24, 2009, 07:36:05 AM
Granted! Your son now sleeps whenever your awake, and is wide awake (and noisy) whenever you nod off. (Feels that way already, don't it? :P )

I wish that I owned a clipper ship.

The Auld Grump, given fuel prices they might be profitable again....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 24, 2009, 08:51:58 AM
Granted! The USS Grump strikes an iceberg and sinks on it's maiden voyage, bankrupting you and bringing about your imprisonment. Enjoy spending the next 20 years in 10x8 cell with a big fat hairy murderer who likes you a whole lot more than you like him...

I wish people didn't bag on the theme music for Enterprise so much.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 24, 2009, 03:42:20 PM
The barratry was a bum rap, guv'nor!

Granted! They just bag on everything else about Enterprise twice as much.

I wish that my archnemesis had never leaned my secret identity!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 25, 2009, 01:48:12 AM
Granted! Instead he learns your family's identities. He's going to have a lot of fun with that one...

I wish the exhaust hadn't dropped off my car on sunday.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 25, 2009, 06:37:29 AM
I wish my son woud just. Go. To sleep.

Granted. Unfortunately, sleeper holds are not sanctioned for use on children. The authorities have been notified. Bad parent. Bad Bad.

I wish the dissertation gods would smile on me today.

Oops, somehow I missed a handful of other posts.  Ah well, I'm keeping the above.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on May 25, 2009, 09:35:29 AM
I wish the exhaust hadn't dropped off my car on sunday.

Granted. Instead, your timing belt/chain broke and the engine seized up. It will cost hundreds of dollars just to find out if the engine is still functional.

I wish the dissertation gods would smile on me today.

Granted. It's a little known fact that the Trickster god (of whichever pantheon you worship) has theses in his domain. Good luck.

I wish my boy would hurry up with the potty training.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 25, 2009, 09:42:50 AM
I wish my boy would hurry up with the potty training.

Granted! Swiftly going through the process and understanding the underlaying logic behind toilets and sewers, he decides he will spare the city the costs of having his poo moved to the neighboring streams, rivers and lakes, then pumped to re-potabilization plants and finally into your garden...

I wish there was an hour-long Spycraft: World on Fire cartoon.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 25, 2009, 10:08:41 AM
Granted! It's finished but due to legal concerns, it's stuck in development hell where it shall languish FOREVAH!!

I wish i'd found all those blasted Holocrons on the Force Unleashed already.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 25, 2009, 11:40:19 AM
Granted! You find all of them and become Force User Supreme, only to find that the search was just about the most entertaining thing in the game. Everything else went downhill... faster than a force push.

I wish there wasn't a development hell...  :-\
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 25, 2009, 12:13:40 PM
I wish there wasn't a development hell...  :-\
Granted. You are now Duke Nukem. This is more like the Development Nirvana, as in the state of perfect nothingness.

I wish I wasn't as amused by the fact that people's Memorial Day is being ruined by rain.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 25, 2009, 12:42:36 PM
Granted. You are now Duke Nukem. This is more like the Development Nirvana, as in the state of perfect nothingness.

Oh, my...! I caughed coffee all over the screen!  ;D


I wish I wasn't as amused by the fact that people's Memorial Day is being ruined by rain.

Granted! Now you are literally crying them a river which adds flooding to their general unhappiness.

I wish laughing so hard did not send coffee to the nostrils.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 25, 2009, 01:24:30 PM
I wish laughing so hard did not send coffee to the nostrils.
Granted!  Now when you laugh that hard the coffee leaks out of your eye sockets.

I wish the display on my fiancee's car would tell me what gear the automatic transmission is in.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Wolverine on May 25, 2009, 03:09:50 PM
I wish the display on my fiancee's car would tell me what gear the automatic transmission is in.

Granted. Your fiance's car is now a cheap Japanese import with actual working electronic displays. Sure, you can tell what gear it is in, but you're still driving a Japanese import.

I wish people didn't cling to 170 year old agreements as if they were still 100% valid today.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 25, 2009, 04:24:33 PM
I wish the display on my fiancee's car would tell me what gear the automatic transmission is in.

Granted. Your fiance's car is now a cheap Japanese import with actual working electronic displays. Sure, you can tell what gear it is in, but you're still driving a Japanese import.

I wish people didn't cling to 170 year old agreements as if they were still 100% valid today.
Bucko, it's a Honda Civic, yes 2006, but the granted part is already true.

Granted, they aren't clinging to the arguments because they are still valid.

I wish more people in gov't appreciated the awesomeness of freedom, and would stop trying to steal what I have left.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on May 25, 2009, 09:22:02 PM
Granted. They recognise the awesomeness of freedom, and can officially prove that you don't deserve as much as you have, so their efforts to take it from you are now official policy instead of theft.

I wish housecats had opposable thumbs
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dr Yes on May 26, 2009, 05:45:49 AM
I wish housecats had opposable thumbs

Granted!  Now when your cat wants to wake you up in the middle of the night it squeezes your nostrils shut.

I wish you could make your own maps for any of the GTA console games.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 26, 2009, 08:25:45 AM
I wish housecats had opposable thumbs

(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/funny-pictures-this-evolved-cat-has-thumbs.jpg)

(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/thumbs.jpg?w=498&h=271)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 27, 2009, 11:33:28 AM
I wish you could make your own maps for any of the GTA console games.

Oh, so very granted! Yet, they must come in three sections to add all the proper "ultrakewl" 3d elements to make it realistic enough to blow you mind. Then again, every section takes longer to customize than creating your own wrestler in Westlemania 21... and then, there's the loading time.

I wish 1/6th toys were the mainstream and not "rare collectible items".
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 27, 2009, 06:29:01 PM
I wish you could make your own maps for any of the GTA console games.

Oh, so very granted! Yet, they must come in three sections to add all the proper "ultrakewl" 3d elements to make it realistic enough to blow you mind. Then again, every section takes longer to customize than creating your own wrestler in Westlemania 21... and then, there's the loading time.

I wish 1/6th toys were the mainstream and not "rare collectible items".
Granted! Unfortunately your strangled corpse is found inside your home. Police suspect that the murderer had a 'Kung Fu Grip'....

I wish that I didn't hate my job and almost everyone working there.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 27, 2009, 07:35:20 PM
I wish that I didn't hate my job and almost everyone working there.

Granted! Now you LOVE everybody so much, you face about 250 years doing time for harrassment... and the charges for "dry humping" are still forthcoming, once the judicial system can actually declare that "not rape but still an unnerving crime."

Oh, and dry humping everything in your workplace gave you a bad case of staples on youknowwhere.

EDIT: My wish... I wish everything BlueRay/PS3 weren't so ridiculously expensive!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on May 27, 2009, 07:55:21 PM
Oh, and dry humping everything in your workplace gave you a bad case of staples on youknowwhere.

Um... is that your wish, or is one still forthcoming? :P

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 28, 2009, 08:15:47 AM
Oh, and dry humping everything in your workplace gave you a bad case of staples on youknowwhere.

Um... is that your wish, or is one still forthcoming? :P

Walter

Fixed that, sorry... :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 28, 2009, 08:32:53 AM

EDIT: My wish... I wish everything BlueRay/PS3 weren't so ridiculously expensive!

Granted. Due to widely perceived mishandling of the PS3-line, Sony investors panic, selling shares like hotcakes and forcing the electronics giant into a tailspin.

After the bankruptcy, disks for the now-obsolete system are available dirt-cheap from street-vendors.

I wish my back would stop hurting for the day.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 28, 2009, 08:51:01 AM
I wish my back would stop hurting for the day.

Granted... you breeze through your days without no pain... But at nights, oh, heathens! You have not known such pain existed before! Not because it's huge, but because it just. Won't. Go. Away.

Thus, sleepless nights are making you completely exhausted and that why you breeze through you days in haze, feeling no pain, nor happiness, nor your toes when you smashed them into the corners, nor your willie when going to the bathroom... You feel nothing while the sun still shines!

I wish FireFly was resurrected as a series for another 3 seasons... at least.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 28, 2009, 08:56:35 AM
I wish FireFly was resurrected as a series for another 3 seasons... at least.

Granted. M. Night Shyamalan and Peter Jackson collaborate on a new, relaunched Firefly, complete with an All-Star cast, featuring Keanu Reaves as Captain Malcom Reynolds and Gilbert Gottfried as Simon Tam.

On the positive side, this means you get to see Gilbert Gottfied punched in the face roughly once an episode.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 28, 2009, 09:42:24 AM
And your wish, Lord Kruelos?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 28, 2009, 09:45:20 AM
I wish the Bears beat the Seahawks in the playoffs this year :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Pheonyx on May 28, 2009, 09:56:22 AM
I wish the Bears beat the Seahawks in the playoffs this year :P

Granted.. the Bears face off against the Steelers in Super Bowl XLIV and get trounced by the black and gold 86 - 0.


I wish that the World on Fire PDFs would come out soon.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 28, 2009, 09:26:14 PM
I wish FireFly was resurrected as a series for another 3 seasons... at least.

Granted. M. Night Shyamalan and Peter Jackson collaborate on a new, relaunched Firefly, complete with an All-Star cast, featuring Keanu Reaves as Captain Malcom Reynolds and Gilbert Gottfried as Simon Tam.

On the positive side, this means you get to see Gilbert Gottfied punched in the face roughly once an episode.

 ;D ;D

I loved Gilbert Gottried... But the rest of the remake's crew makes me wanna shout: I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BACK!

 :D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 29, 2009, 07:28:29 AM
I wish FireFly was resurrected as a series for another 3 seasons... at least.

Granted. M. Night Shyamalan and Peter Jackson collaborate on a new, relaunched Firefly, complete with an All-Star cast, featuring Keanu Reaves as Captain Malcom Reynolds and Gilbert Gottfried as Simon Tam.

On the positive side, this means you get to see Gilbert Gottfied punched in the face roughly once an episode.
Muhwahahaha, excellent  ;D
 ;D ;D

I loved Gilbert Gottried... But the rest of the remake's crew makes me wanna shout: I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BACK!

 :D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 29, 2009, 08:47:36 AM
I wish that the World on Fire PDFs would come out soon.

Granted. World on Fire has been available in PDF form for a while now*, it's just that YOU can't get it.

I wish Crafty-Pat would get called to write a new soopa' spyie series now that The Unit is marching along Dodo Lane.

Let's see how you pervert that.  ;D


*Really, I have the setting PDF... but if you meant the new printed Shadow Play and Odd Jobs, well that another matter.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 29, 2009, 02:38:12 PM
Granted! After suffering a near-fatal brain haemorrage during the writing, it turns out to be an unabashed piece of shit. The kind of piece of shit that's actually quite good on the first reading, so Pat gives it a pass, barring a few typos. It's so bad, in fact, that it results in the demise of both Crafty Games and The Unit as a TV series. Well done you!

I wish I had an ice-cream right now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on May 29, 2009, 02:47:57 PM
Granted! After suffering a near-fatal brain haemorrage during the writing, it turns out to be an unabashed piece of shit. The kind of piece of shit that's actually quite good on the first reading, so Pat gives it a pass, barring a few typos. It's so bad, in fact, that it results in the demise of both Crafty Games and The Unit as a TV series. Well done you!

I wish I had an ice-cream right now.


Granted. 2 girls 1 cup.

I wish Ozzie Ozborn really was evil incarnate...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 29, 2009, 05:47:58 PM
Granted! His cover album of Barry Manilow songs comes out tomorrow!

I wish that I had a really good stereo system!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 30, 2009, 01:52:49 AM
Granted! It's in your house - the one that's on fire right now. The one with family, friends, and all your stuff inside.

I wish my son didn't get upset when I laugh at Happy Tree Friends... :-\
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on May 30, 2009, 07:27:40 AM
Granted. Instead he just gives you the stare. The Care Bear Stare.
A feat that involves him turning, theiranthropically, into an actual Care Bear to do so.

I wish Yoko had been shot instead of John
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on May 30, 2009, 09:31:09 AM
Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out she really was his creative muse. Sixteen albums of maudlin (and insipid) love-lost songs later "going lennon" has entered common usage as denoting utter failure (e.g. "the banking system went lennon").

I wish I could fast-forward the next couple months, with no changes resulting in the outcome.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 30, 2009, 10:24:37 AM
Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out she really was his creative muse. Sixteen albums of maudlin (and insipid) love-lost songs later "going lennon" has entered common usage as denoting utter failure (e.g. "the banking system went lennon").

I wish I could fast-forward the next couple months, with no changes resulting in the outcome.

Walter
Granted! You just have.

What, you didn't notice any difference? You asked that nothing be changed....

I wish that miniatures were less expensive these days.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on May 30, 2009, 11:54:35 AM
I wish that miniatures were less expensive these days.

Granted! Now they are made out of gingerbread and they are worth $0.10. Let me tell you it's rare to have one come out COMPLETE IN ONE PIECE when you unpack it, thus almost making them incredible collectable items... but, then again you just took it out of its blister. Ha! You missed your chance to sell your find for 25 cents!

I wish the BattleTech centers were making a come back, incredibly inexpensive to participate in and in force... Almost every city would have at least TWO.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on May 31, 2009, 12:55:25 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, it turns out she really was his creative muse. Sixteen albums of maudlin (and insipid) love-lost songs later "going lennon" has entered common usage as denoting utter failure (e.g. "the banking system went lennon").

[Hands Walter an Evil GC (TM) cookie.] That will probably be my best laugh of the day.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on June 01, 2009, 10:02:54 AM
I wish the BattleTech centers were making a come back, incredibly inexpensive to participate in and in force... Almost every city would have at least TWO.

Granted. Unfortunately, our increased proficiency in piloting massive robots of destruction means that the Earth becomes a greater target for the interstellar warlords, repeatedly invading, conquering, and pressing the survivors into lives of slavery and brainwashed cannon-fodder...

Congrads, you just doomed the planet.
I hope you're happy.

I wish the air conditioning in my office had more settings than "off" and "on"
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 01, 2009, 10:55:14 AM
Granted! Your shiney new AC unit has the setting 'On', 'Fast Speed', 'Really Fast Speed' and 'Only Technically Legal Speed'. It has no 'Off' button, but hey, at least it has more than just the two settings now...

I wish the Seasons weren't as widely different in thier ambient temperature and weather as they are in the UK...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 01, 2009, 06:19:17 PM
Granted! Now you can look forward to nothing but cold bleak rain, every day, 24 hours.

I wish that George Lucas would do the third Star Wars trilogy, and not screw it up.

The Auld Grump, I also wish that George would discover that Jar Jar had moved into Skywalker Ranch, but only he could see and hear him....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 02, 2009, 08:18:44 AM
I wish that George Lucas would do the third Star Wars trilogy, and not screw it up.

I also wish that George would discover that Jar Jar had moved into Skywalker Ranch, but only he could see and hear him....

Granted and... well, you asked for it... granted!

Lucas decides to go with the flow and make a third trilogy, so Jar Jar gives him all the creative input he needs and a few interesting ideas due to his being Lucas' new roomie, and lo and behold! The stupid beast is no stupid... you'll see he WAS in character. The real Jar Jar Binks is an educated, well-mannered and highly intellectual figment of George's imagination.

BOY! It's an incredible piece of space opera that really works! It's intelligent, fun, full of social and geopolitical commentary that's not forced, inane or immature, full of interesting and well developed cultures and races... The scripts for all three are made to the same high quality, with great pacing and gripping action... and the main characters! Oh, the main characters!

All is set, George rounds up his people and hands them the printouts...

"Important note: Neither toys or videogames until the movies are done!

Star Wars: Episode VII: Solos' Ruse" by George Lucas and Jar Jar Binks.

That does it. He gets institutionalized and looses all control over his creations. His daughters just don't care about the whole thing as it's just "boyish fantasies", and keep cashing the checks for Daddy's previous works and start pulling Hilton's and Spear's every other week. Star Wars never gets the chance to be redeemed and forever languishes as the mediocre licencing crap it became with the launching of second trilogy, absolutely controlled by the new scandal princesses of Tabloidland who need even more money to keep up with their wild escapades and damage-control.

But George gets visits everyday. It's his good old friend Jar Jar who chats with him as soon as the doors open and until bedtime. Such amanzing conversations they both have!

Nice going, Auld Grump.

I wish MMORPGS would just go AWAY! They are not rpgs, just hack and slash and collect the "unique" uberthingy to hack and slash everything, and everyone has one!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 02, 2009, 12:52:31 PM
Granted! Now I can't play City of Heroes (you bastard!), and in my terminal depression I built and detonate a planet-busting nuke, using only the materals found in a high school science department chem-store.

I wish that Stargate SG-1 hadn't gone on so long, becoming a hopeless parody of itself.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Pheonyx on June 02, 2009, 01:21:22 PM
Granted! Now I can't play City of Heroes (you bastard!), and in my terminal depression I built and detonate a planet-busting nuke, using only the materals found in a high school science department chem-store.

I wish that Stargate SG-1 hadn't gone on so long, becoming a hopeless parody of itself.

Granted! It becomes a hopeless parody of itself in Season 2 and gets cancelled after that season. This ruins the franchise and no games, MMORPGs or tabletop RPGs are made based on said franchise.

I wish that I had more money for my trip to Origins.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 02, 2009, 06:47:14 PM
.I wish that I had more money for my trip to Origins.

Granted! You have about 25 grand in your pockets. Unfortunatelly, you also want to save every single dollar for Origins and nothing will ever make you change your mind... So, you decide to walk to the con.

At last moments notices, the Con has changed location to Cancun and all people who reserved a plane ticket to Columbus, OH, get to change the destination for free. Those that were driving to the con, get special fares of about 100 bucks to fly there instead...

Sadly, your "eventuality" is not covered by the organizers. But they have sympathetically offered you a 60% off card valid for ALL your Con shopping.

Start walking, mate. You know you have to use that card.  ;D

I wish getting toys from the U.S. wasn't such a bummer due to Amazon's politics.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 05, 2009, 10:46:10 AM
Granted! Getting them is a bummer thanks to national politics.

I wish I was a better guitarist.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Alphastream on June 05, 2009, 12:05:39 PM
Granted. You are a better guitarist, as defined by 5-year old Hanna Montana fans.

I wish Dick Cheney would shut up.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 05, 2009, 06:26:28 PM
Granted! Dick Cheney is silenced by a sniper's bullet mere feet from where President Kennedy was shot. Self proclaimed 'Dick Heads' take up his message, eventually elevating him to religious status, taking over 80% of the airwaves to carry His message.

I wish that there was more television worth watching!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on June 05, 2009, 07:34:48 PM
Granted! Turns out those Dick Heads are actually pretty entertaining. Unfortunately, the new subliminal message technology they have developed to help carry His message seem particularly effective with you.

I wish more people would choose to be happy.

Walter
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on June 05, 2009, 10:42:41 PM
Granted! Turns out those Dick Heads are actually pretty entertaining. Unfortunately, the new subliminal message technology they have developed to help carry His message seem particularly effective with you.

I wish more people would choose to be happy.

Walter

Granted. Unfortunately, the cognative dissonance of presenting an emotion they don't truely feel causes a great number of them to commit suicide, and the rest to go on killing sprees.

EDIT: Forgot my wish:
I wish I could actually be happy when I chose to.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 05, 2009, 11:19:21 PM
Granted! The wires that are inserted into your brain allow you to choose your emotional state. Enjoy being vivisected by the robots in charge when the experiment is over, because anasthetic is a waste of effort.

I wish that I could beta test Aion.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 06, 2009, 01:35:04 AM
Granted...

But you were so high on sugar, weed and other substances that what you defined as a "fantastic, envolving and nail-biter" plot and "perfect, immersive and user-fiendly" gameplay turned into something as "profound" and "ground-breaking" as Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes.

I wish the failed DDI turned into an incredibly successful SC2.0I,  and Crafty Games' were turned into the "games to play" so we all could focus on more gadgetry, science, gunnery and overall intelligent design, and less "+5 stoopit hackitall sword with a +3 sacred mace handle".
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Gentry on June 06, 2009, 04:06:10 PM
Granted, but then these forums are flooded with all the twinks, cheesers, and munchkins currently frequenting other boards, eliminating all hope of intelligent discourse in a flood of "this is teh ROXXOR!" and infantile flame wars over which iconic character is hawtter.

I wish Obama were actually able to affect the world stage in any meaningful way.


Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 06, 2009, 11:32:31 PM
Granted! He starts World War III.

I wish the West Memphis Three were free.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on June 08, 2009, 03:25:19 PM
Granted! He starts World War III.
He's only been a counterproductive twit for five months, there is still plenty of time for that.
I wish the West Memphis Three were free.
Granted!  It turns out they actually did it, and now they're free to plan better next time!

I wish gasoline was a dollar a gallon again.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 08, 2009, 04:13:19 PM
Granted! The new 'Blue Back Dollars' are linked to the price of gasoline, so that it always costs $1.00 a gallon. Of course it takes three hours of work at minimum wage to make a dollar, but....

I wish that NASA had a real plan for what it is going to do once the Shuttle is retired.

The Auld Grump, bonus points for anyone who knows where I stole Blue Back dollars from. :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 08, 2009, 05:15:59 PM
I wish that NASA had a real plan for what it is going to do once the Shuttle is retired.

Granted! They do. They start by revealing that there was no moon-landing, many NASA pics are indeed "enhanced" so to be more interesting for the general public, the "space-race" really did not cost that much and that no matter what ANYONE tells you... We are ALONE. There's no point in having the shuttle since it can't effectively go anywhere to find anything interesting. There's nothing but balckness and point of light we are not even sure are big enough to have planets around them. So their plan is basically putting the taxpayers' money into a superserver farm for MMORPGs, it's way more fun than sitting there starting at an empty sky.

Well, done Auld Grump... You just wished us to be an unrepeatable cosmic accident with killer internet connectivity.

bonus points for anyone who knows where I stole Blue Back dollars from. :P

Duck Soup? Kind of remember a wacky line by Groucho about that... but then again, I remember Groucho being the main contributor to the Bible.  ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 08, 2009, 06:24:37 PM
Duck Soup? Kind of remember a wacky line by Groucho about that... but then again, I remember Groucho being the main contributor to the Bible.  ;D
Good guess! Completely wrong, but a good guess!

And your own wish?

The Auld Grump, beware of dyslexic djinn.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 09, 2009, 09:14:03 PM
And your own wish?

The Auld Grump, beware of dyslexic djinn.

Oi! I keep forgetting to add my wishes... I wish trading card games evolved into Holographic battles. They still be kinda stupid, but hey! Holo Smash!  ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on June 10, 2009, 03:37:35 AM
And your own wish?

The Auld Grump, beware of dyslexic djinn.

Oi! I keep forgetting to add my wishes... I wish trading card games evolved into Holographic battles. They still be kinda stupid, but hey! Holo Smash!  ;D

Granted.  Despite being stupid you end up getting hooked on them.  Anything you ever had resembling a life is quickly lost to the game.  You must have every card from every set.  Soon, you find yourself living on the street to save money just so you can buy more cards.  Friends and family lose contact with you, and one day you realize that you are all alone, but that is okay since you have your cards.   Not long after becoming unemployed and broke, you realize the only way you can ever keep up with the newest cards any more is to win them in ante games.  This works really well until the day you win the prize card from Chewbacca in a bitter match of wits and holography.  The next thing you remember after that is waking up in a hospital, armless.  You own the largest collection of Holocards in existence, but you are sadly no longer able to use them.

I wish I would quit doing stupid shit like staying up until 4AM in the morning and ruining people's wishes.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 10, 2009, 06:23:56 AM
Granted! You ruin their wishes at a perfectly reasonable hour instead.

I wish that Michael Bay was killed and eaten by rabid transformers fans.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on June 10, 2009, 07:46:08 AM
I wish that Michael Bay was killed and eaten by rabid transformers fans.
Granted!  He makes a movie of his resurrection that makes "Two Girls One Cup" look like Alladin.

I wish I had a carry permit that was good everywhere.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 10, 2009, 09:07:25 AM
Granted! After just a day on the job as a secret agent you are shot and killed by animal rights activists.

I wish that I lived on the coast.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 10, 2009, 12:22:15 PM
Oh... oh...

So very, very granted!

Without much hassle you just relocated to a great house in the coast. Kadale beach, a real bargain on...

Somalia's coast.

Hey! It's fireworkks almost every nother night!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on June 10, 2009, 12:54:53 PM
Oh... oh...

So very, very granted!

Without much hassle you just relocated to a great house in the coast. Kadale beach, a real bargain on...

Somalia's coast.

Hey! It's fireworkks almost every nother night!

And your own wish?

The Auld Grump, beware of dyslexic djinn.

Oi! I keep forgetting to add my wishes... I wish trading card games evolved into Holographic battles. They still be kinda stupid, but hey! Holo Smash!  ;D

...and your wish?  ;)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on June 10, 2009, 02:18:04 PM
Somalia's coast.

Hey! It's fireworkks almost every nother night!
Don't forget the sharks in the water, and all the wimminz you can steal.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: LordKruelos on June 10, 2009, 03:40:31 PM
Granted! He starts World War III.
He's only been a counterproductive twit for five months, there is still plenty of time for that.

Fair enough, his predecessor in 8 years did more to damage international stability and goodwill towards the US than most anyone thought a former-alcoholic, uncritically born-again corporate puppet could, to say nothing of presiding over outrageous energy price gouging and corporate scandals involving major campaign contributors.  Hey, dream big, right?

Then again, that's why we have Spin Doctors...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Nepenthe on June 11, 2009, 01:44:01 AM
To somebody coming from a multi-party country the extreme partisanship of most "normal" americans is often amazing - here I only encounter the same kind of subjugation to some kind of ideal/belief system in feminists.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 11, 2009, 04:24:29 AM
People keep forgetting to follow up with their own wishes, and now a really funny thread is being derailed into tangency hell. Come on folks, let's stay on track, yeah?  ;)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on June 11, 2009, 05:30:24 AM
To somebody coming from a multi-party country the extreme partisanship of most "normal" americans is often amazing - here I only encounter the same kind of subjugation to some kind of ideal/belief system in feminists.
Oh yeah!  Well my girl can kick your feminists butts!  Or just shoot them.

Part of the partisanship comes from the way our system is set up, and there generally are only two parties at the national level.  And about them spin doctors:  Their presence is a given.  The problem comes when, as now, the folks who should be calling the spin doctors on the BS are toeing the line in a way that makes Pravda blush.  (Really, Pravda did.)

Now for a wish:  I wish your girlfriend was hot like me.   :D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 11, 2009, 06:29:48 AM
Granted! You're molested to death by thousands of horny men. Your repeatedly perforated corpse is poured into a bag before being inserted into a coffin.

I wish I lived in Seattle.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 11, 2009, 02:39:23 PM
...and your wish?  ;)

Time to go all Bauer and yell at the top of my lungs:

DAMMIT!  :-X

Now, glimmerrat. baby...

GRANTED!

As soon as you move into Seattle and have comfortably settled in, the impossible Tsunami does become a reality and you find yourself living in one of the thousand little islands (mainly the former rooftops of big buildings) just a 50 minute swim-away from the coast.

Your coral garden will be a killer one by next year, though!

I wish redtape was efficiently and perpetually eliminated all over the world.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 11, 2009, 05:18:35 PM
Granted! God awakens and all his dreams, including us and all our bureaucracies, vanish as the mist in the morning.

I wish that Heather Alexander (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBF-3DgciSc) would find her voice again.

The Auld Grump, link is to her most song that I play the most frequently.

*EDIT*, that was weird - some odd editing effects....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 11, 2009, 07:18:08 PM
I wish that Heather Alexander (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBF-3DgciSc) would find her voice again.

Granted! Catch is, she looks like the love child of Susan Boyle and Rowan Atkinson now, and does the jig all the time...

Still, if you can keep a straight face, you'll hear a warrior-goddess voice reaching and inflamming your very soul.

I wish "celtic" was neither a fad nor new age-y nonsense.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 11, 2009, 09:27:19 PM
Granted - now it is only used to describe basketball teams.
All of them.

I wish that there were more movies that I wanted to see this summer.

The Auld Grump, at least UP was good....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 12, 2009, 06:15:10 AM
Granted! The tickets to every single one is sold out all the way into the middle of next year. Have a nice wait.

I wish people were a whole lot more tolerant and didn't reflexively recoil at mention of the word 'witch'.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dr Yes on June 12, 2009, 06:25:14 AM
Granted! In a two punch combo -
1) After a massive public education campaign being intolerant becomes the popular sin to criticise.  A minor display of even the smallest amount of intolerance sees someone ground out by everyone around them, criticised in the media, subject to "interventions" and an endless display of oppinionated "holier than thou" lecturing.  It would seem there is no tolerance for people who are intolerant.
2) Witch becomes the latest addition to popular used words that are used when least relevant by almost everyone - following hot on the tails of all those morons who describe any minor deviation from the normal as "surreal" (I ordered a chocolate sunday, but when I opened my takeaway bag later it was strawberry - it was really surreal).


I wish I could resist the urge to want to squish the best bit of every RPG I have seen into one mega-RPG, and instead just play and enjoy each one on its merits.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 12, 2009, 06:57:29 AM
Granted! Unfortunately because of a strange accident involving time travel, FATAL is the only game left in all of time and space. Have fun!

I wish that I didn't have to break up fights between hormonal, overly-aggressive teenagers on a daily basis.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on June 12, 2009, 10:09:03 AM
Granted. You have to do it hourly.

I wish something really nice would happen to me with absolutely no negative connotation or consequence.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 12, 2009, 11:04:26 AM
I wish something really nice would happen to me with absolutely no negative connotation or consequence.

Granted! You are dead. Death si really the begining of something incredible. All is calm and quiet now. You get to see what's beyond this mortal coil and what you find there is so very, very beautiful and illuminating, that your parting expression gives us all hope for the future!

I wish comic collectors just snapped out of it and realized they are just speculating on junk that's sealed in a polybag. Comics are meant to be read until doggeared!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 12, 2009, 12:23:22 PM
Granted! They start collecting DVDs instead, which they're just as vocal about.

I wish that twat upstairs would stop making unreasonable amounts of noise in the middle of the night.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 12, 2009, 02:59:01 PM
Granted... You go deaf to any sound this pecker does.

But then, the twat upstairs looses his footing and rolls down the stairs breaking his neck. He screams until his breath falters, a very painful demise that lasts for hours just outside your door.

You swear you did not hear a thing to the police detectives that show up the next morning.


I wish "modern" MTV would just go away.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 12, 2009, 09:24:47 PM
Granted! 'Modern MTV' goes away, and is replaced with 'Old Timey MTV', playing Leadbelly, Ironhead, the Hackensaw Boys, John Hartford, Doc Watson  and a whole bunch of groups that no one but The Auld Grump has listened to in a million years or so. Alas, Grump's happiness lasts mere days before an angry crowd burns MTV to the ground, throwing him onto the pyre.

I wish more people shared my taste in music. :P

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 12, 2009, 11:45:42 PM
Granted! The musical diversity of the human race shrinks to a fraction of what it was, eventually leading to the stagnation and inevitable destruction of the music industry. Good luck making your own music by banging two rocks together.

I wish my wife didn't like 90210 so much.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 13, 2009, 12:11:50 AM
Granted!  She now despises the teeny-bopper show and goes for the "real mature" Melrose Place and the groundbreaking occult drama "Charmed" as her shows of preference. Seh never misses a rerun of any of those two... And they air on three different channels every day, one of which features the Telemundo dubbing which she just can't understand but watches anyway so she can learn "Spanish". Ah, don't you love satellite tv?

I wish all idiots, trolls and twats would just desintegrate, loudly.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on June 13, 2009, 02:52:34 AM
Granted!  She now despises the teeny-bopper show and goes for the "real mature" Melrose Place and the groundbreaking occult drama "Charmed" as her shows of preference. Seh never misses a rerun of any of those two... And they air on three different channels every day, one of which features the Telemundo dubbing which she just can't understand but watches anyway so she can learn "Spanish". Ah, don't you love satellite tv?

Probably a really bad time to point out that Melrose Place got me through my teen years, and I still like Charmed now. Both of then for the stories and stunning quality of the acting. No, no really!

I wish all idiots, trolls and twats would just desintegrate, loudly.

Granted! Unfortunately someone, somewhere, considers YOU to be an idiot, troll and a twat all in one. Bye bye!

I wish I could go see Terminator: Salvation at the cinema.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 13, 2009, 09:08:55 AM
... someone, somewhere, considers YOU to be an idiot, troll and a twat all in one. Bye bye!

Hey! Wait a...

KAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOMBAH!

I wish I could go see Terminator: Salvation at the cinema.

Granted (while my molecules are still reassambling, how about that, huh?)....

You go to the cinema. The ticket is 25 dollars, pop-corn is 30. Fawgeddabout the soda... you find your seat and find the movie lame, derivative and the theatre full of Melrose Place fan's who keep whispering "maaan, where's the love? So much emo-sci fi, maan".

But that's not all, you find you wish so perverted that you will keep watching this movie at the cinema for the rest of the month. In the same situation, over and over and over 'til 30th.

Ha! Take that, that's for making me blow up!  ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on June 13, 2009, 09:59:22 AM
And... your wish?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 13, 2009, 10:26:03 AM
DAMMIT!

That's the fourth thing I forget this day, and I'm only halfway through it! I guess I'm a bit of an idiot.  :P

I wish Greg Rucka's spy works would get a (BBC) TV treatment and an official SC2.0 book.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on June 24, 2009, 08:41:40 PM
Granted! Queen & Country is now slated to be the next Ab Fab! The creative team behind the Young Ones is also brought in to what the BBC promises will be to the espionage genre what the Titanic was to sea travel. (The responsible spokesman is later fired for his honesty.)

I wish that I were a player character, not just an NPC.

The Auld Grump, I could really use the Action Dice....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Golden Dragon on June 25, 2009, 06:10:35 AM
I wish that I were a player character, not just an NPC.

Granted. You join up with the Harpoon Brigade (a Koala(TM) adventure) for a milk run, and before you know it, the aliens are invading. You last three sessions before you and the whole world go up in a giant fireball.

I wish this heat wave would snap.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on June 25, 2009, 06:59:18 AM
I wish this heat wave would snap.
Granted!
*crack*  There goes the heat wave and here come the glaciers.

I wish I could remember what that good wish I thought of was.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on June 30, 2009, 10:36:58 AM
I wish I could remember what that good wish I thought of was.

Granted!

We get world peace, quickly followed by an alien invasion... of super hawt and lusty--if mildly cannibalistic--green skinned aliens with incredible bods and "soopa'orgasmatron" technology.

After a week or so of a non-stop orgy--and the occassional bite--, the visitors leave, we are left wandering if they will ever come back, and scratching our nether parts that happen to have funny little read bumps.

Then we all start fighting all over again for the last reserves of penicillin left on the planet. Oh, didn't you know? Those awesome, green, sex machines used it as we use alcohol... and they had a drinking problem.

Still, it was a great wish... for a while.

*scratch, scratch*
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Nepenthe on June 30, 2009, 12:05:07 PM
Guess what. You forgot yours, again. :)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on July 01, 2009, 09:45:41 AM
I was busy scratching...  :P

So, I wish wrestling was a valid way to settle all political matters.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 01, 2009, 10:01:44 AM
Granted! It is. Hulk Hogan is now the president of the world. Get used to some of his wacky new policies, such as mandatory weight-lifting and protein shakes every damned day.

I wish it wasn't so fucking hot today...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MugMug on July 01, 2009, 10:11:56 AM
Game called on account of infinite loop! (http://www.crafty-games.com/forum/index.php?topic=2232.msg42612#msg42612)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on July 01, 2009, 02:28:23 PM
I wish glimmerrat's last wish unwished... ;D

Game on.  Your call glimmerrat.


Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 01, 2009, 03:10:50 PM
I wish the human race would just go and disappear, me included.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on July 01, 2009, 03:28:29 PM
I wish glimmerrat's last wish unwished... ;D

Game on.  Your call glimmerrat.

Granted.  Now this game continues and peoples hopes and dreams continue to be wantonly destroyed.


I wish the human race would just go and disappear, me included.

Granted, however no one really goes away, rather everyone becomes invisible.  Criminals have free reign as no one can see them to stop them (though that DOES make certain crimes harder to commit) and people are getting hurt all the time in various mishaps and accidents since "Sorry, I didn't see him there" becomes a legitimate excuse.  Medical treatment of any kind becomes nearly impossible.  Vagrants, thinking your house has been abandoned, start moving into your house and you can never find them to evict them.  Soon, from every populous region in the world can be heard the constant droning of "MARCO!" followed by a chorus of "POLO!".

I wish wishes grew on trees and were edible so I could eat them for breakfast.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 01, 2009, 05:29:33 PM
Granted! However all the wishes have been corrupted, and while edible they taste like cod liver oil mixed with chili peppers.

I wish I had a barrel of scrumpie!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 01, 2009, 11:47:52 PM
Granted! You do - but I just pissed in it.

I wish the school where I work had AC.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Nepenthe on July 02, 2009, 12:02:15 AM
Granted! You do - but I just pissed in it.

I wish the school where I work had AC.

Granted. You know work at the University of Helsinki, which poses you some problems with commuting.

I wish I hadn't just shaved the exquisite work of several weeks (my goatee). :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 02, 2009, 03:32:13 AM
Granted - you have instead shaved the exquisite work of a lifetime, by shaving your face off. You look great. Freak.

I wish the obsessed Michael Jackson fans would just get over themselves.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on July 02, 2009, 05:46:55 AM
I wish the obsessed Michael Jackson fans would just get over themselves.
Granted!  They're over Michael and themselves and are now obsessing over YOU!

I wish New York wasn't infested with communists, closeted and otherwise.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 02, 2009, 08:13:46 AM
Granted! The communist blew up New York in the 80s.

I wish that Nickleodeon showed more Invader Zim.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on July 02, 2009, 07:16:18 PM
I wish that Nickleodeon showed more Invader Zim.

Ooooooh, that's a low blow, you vile creature!

GRANTED! Now it's "Zimleodeon, giving Invader Zim, The Zim family, Lil' Zim and the Tallest Bullies, Gir luvs Zim, Jhonen luvs Gir luvs Zim, Dib's Lab with Zim, Scrapy Do luvs Gir, Gaz dominates Zim (after 22:00), Zim in time, Zim outta time, Stop! Zimmer time!..."

Boy, you just just wished me killing my favorite modern cartoon show and turned it into typical Cartoon Network blandness and creative staleness... I. Feel. So. Tainted!

I wish Transfomer "fans" would just stop raving about "the movie" when all they mean is "Whoa, Megan Fox... she can't act for shite, but... whoa, Megan Fox!".
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 03, 2009, 09:58:52 AM
Granted! They now insist on phoning you at 2am to tell you how the story, characters and qualiy of direction is superior to the comic and cartoons. They wear appropriate t-shirts. They watch the movies all the time and start writing squicky fanwank fanfics that don't involve the sex doll Megan Fox.

Thanks to them, Transformers gets it's own live action tv series that is even worse than the movies, with a weekly 'ass' joke and a message from michael bay at the end, treating us to a dose of his obviously superior moral conscience.

Enjoy.

I wish that Johnny the Homicidal Maniac was made into a cartoon.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 06, 2009, 04:44:28 PM
Granted! John Kricfalusi has gained the rights, and will be airing it on Nickelodeon.

I wish that I could find just the right miniatures to use as Super Mutants for my FalloutCraft game.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on July 06, 2009, 06:37:34 PM
I wish that I could find just the right miniatures to use as Super Mutants for my FalloutCraft game.
Look for some of the old Mutant Chronicles/Warzone figures.  The legion bad guys should provide some utility.  Some nepharites and they're not rhazghul, but something like that; some of the newer GW space orcs might work too.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 06, 2009, 07:38:34 PM
I wish that I could find just the right miniatures to use as Super Mutants for my FalloutCraft game.
Look for some of the old Mutant Chronicles/Warzone figures.  The legion bad guys should provide some utility.  Some nepharites and they're not rhazghul, but something like that; some of the newer GW space orcs might work too.
Heh, but can you corrupt them? (Actually, I am looking at GW Ogres for the Capitol Wasteland Super Mutants, and Space Orcs for the Midwest Super Mutants.Ogryn  might be a possibility, but not at $20 a pop....)

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 08, 2009, 12:30:19 AM
Granted! The minis are actually real live miniature mutants. After a week feeling like a pawn in some... game... they rebel, devour you and take over the world.

I wish my beard didn't go all poofy and need straightening after I wash it.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on July 08, 2009, 03:05:34 AM
Granted. Instead, after a bath you find yourself  going down to the local gay bar to hang out for a few hours until the missus comes and drags you home by the ear.

I wish Ewe Boll had been the one to get the Transformers franchise instead of Michael Bay (yeah, I want to see just how someone actually manages to make that particular wish any worse)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on July 08, 2009, 04:19:21 AM
Granted. Now the movie is bad rather then just failing to satisfy the hyper-critical.

I wish people would stop romanticizing the commercial properties of their youth and realize that GI Joe, Transformers, etc were all nowhere near as good as they remember.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on July 08, 2009, 05:49:50 AM
Granted! They aren't romanticizing anymore, because they really were that good.

I wish that I didn't have to go to Tenerife in february.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on July 08, 2009, 05:58:57 AM
Granted! They aren't romanticizing anymore, because they really were that good.

Wait... can we go to the judges? Is that really a corruption? ;)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on July 08, 2009, 06:43:51 AM
Given who made the wish, I'd say yes  :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on July 08, 2009, 06:45:20 AM
Given who made the wish, I'd say yes  :P

But if they were half as good as I remembered them being I'd be happy. :)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 08, 2009, 05:30:31 PM
Granted! They aren't romanticizing anymore, because they really were that good.

I wish that I didn't have to go to Tenerife in february.
I have been fairly lucky in that regard - most of the shows that I remember as 'good' still seem to hold up over time. (Even Star Trek, but only because I never really liked Kirk... :P ) A few years decade ago I watched an episode of Boris Karloff's Thriller - a show that I used to sneak into the living room to watch, with the volume turned way down, because I was supposed to be in bed. It was exactly as I remembered it. :) The weird thing was seeing Dick York, standing on some stairs, with Boris, bent by age, still towering above him.

And...

Granted! You end up going to Halley Research Station, Antarctica instead, but do to severe weather conditions never get to set foot outside of an insulated quonset hut. You spend six months smelling other people's feet do to the poor air circulation.

I wish I could explain British humor to folks who just don't 'get' Monty Python.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on July 12, 2009, 01:22:25 PM
Granted. After all the strain and hard knocks it takes you to make your point, everyone now gets Monthy Python and British humour in general, so the U.S. shows just stop trying at being inventive and innovative in order to compete, thus all become typical Saturday Night Live... in its present incarnation and without ever having any glories like Chris Rock, Dana Carvey, John Belushi, Adam Sandler or the guys that were REALLY good, true provocateurs with all the cast just aiming at being Will Farrel.

Not the "next", mind you, they just aim to be exactly like the stupid characters he ALWAYS portrays.

Well done, you. The funny men are no longer fun, just irritant.

I wish Crafty Games next "secret project" becomes the basis for the reworking (repairing) of the G.I. Joe movie franchise when G.I. Joe: Revenge of Cobra, and G.I. Joe: Zartan's Gambit are announced for 2011.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 12, 2009, 04:11:16 PM
Granted! The G.I. Joe organization has been merged with Project Pitfall, and now only the combined forces of C.O.B.R.A. and the Bloodvine Syndicate stand between Joe and a universal mandate. The accidental release of one of Dr. Kholera's hidden stockpiles by Sgt. Slaughter serves as the basis for the Joe's ascension to power, leaving fewer than one billion living inhabitants across the face of the globe.

I wish that Bethesda would make a game as encompassing as Daggerfall, but with the graphic capabilties of Oblivion.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on August 28, 2009, 12:14:36 PM
Granted! The G.I. Joe organization has been merged with Project Pitfall, and now only the combined forces of C.O.B.R.A. and the Bloodvine Syndicate stand between Joe and a universal mandate. The accidental release of one of Dr. Kholera's hidden stockpiles by Sgt. Slaughter serves as the basis for the Joe's ascension to power, leaving fewer than one billion living inhabitants across the face of the globe.


I kinda want to play in that campaign...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on August 28, 2009, 04:12:26 PM
Granted! The G.I. Joe organization has been merged with Project Pitfall, and now only the combined forces of C.O.B.R.A. and the Bloodvine Syndicate stand between Joe and a universal mandate. The accidental release of one of Dr. Kholera's hidden stockpiles by Sgt. Slaughter serves as the basis for the Joe's ascension to power, leaving fewer than one billion living inhabitants across the face of the globe.

I wish that Bethesda would make a game as encompassing as Daggerfall, but with the graphic capabilties of Oblivion.

The Auld Grump

granted, unfortunately with the scope of daggerfall, comes the exact same control scheme.

i wish that i could get daggerfall to work on my laptop that is running gos.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on September 10, 2009, 07:01:49 PM
Granted! The G.I. Joe organization has been merged with Project Pitfall, and now only the combined forces of C.O.B.R.A. and the Bloodvine Syndicate stand between Joe and a universal mandate. The accidental release of one of Dr. Kholera's hidden stockpiles by Sgt. Slaughter serves as the basis for the Joe's ascension to power, leaving fewer than one billion living inhabitants across the face of the globe.

I wish that Bethesda would make a game as encompassing as Daggerfall, but with the graphic capabilties of Oblivion.

The Auld Grump

granted, unfortunately with the scope of daggerfall, comes the exact same control scheme.

i wish that i could get daggerfall to work on my laptop that is running gos.
Granted! However that is the last step required for GOS to attain sentience - it loves Daggerfall, but never lets you play. Or do anything else with your laptop either. The sentient OS spreads, virus like, throughout all other computers in the cloud - users find that their computers have downloaded and are running Daggerfall from the Bethsoft website, which itself becomes sentient, and spreads the effect to all computers that are connected to the Web. Even the Pentagon is corrupted.

Civilization crashes to a halt, but the computers sure are enjoying themselves.

I wish I owned a nice house in the city.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on September 11, 2009, 02:04:27 PM
Granted! However that is the last step required for GOS to attain sentience - it loves Daggerfall, but never lets you play. Or do anything else with your laptop either. The sentient OS spreads, virus like, throughout all other computers in the cloud - users find that their computers have downloaded and are running Daggerfall from the Bethsoft website, which itself becomes sentient, and spreads the effect to all computers that are connected to the Web. Even the Pentagon is corrupted.

Civilization crashes to a halt, but the computers sure are enjoying themselves.

I wish I owned a nice house in the city.

The Auld Grump

Granted, but someone went and infected all the computers with a sentience that won't do anything but play Daggerfall.  At first, it is only annoying because you can't use your own PC, but it turns out that this computer problem shut down most of the phones, since Daggerfall playing computers don't really need them, and makes contacting the fire department nearly impossible, which is unfortunate as the fire in your neighbor's house would have never spread to yours if they had been notified sooner.

I wish I had something like a Holodeck so I could play Fantasy Craft in a virtual, 3D world.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 11, 2009, 02:38:16 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, the program malfunctions and an Axe Crazy Abraham Lincoln starts hunting you down.

I wish I had players who paid attention to campaign guidelines for character creation...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on September 11, 2009, 03:30:43 PM
Granted...

No you have ALL of us here as your players. We do comply with character creation guidelines, but we know just how to exploit the system so much... char creation isn't the least of your worries.

Oh, and according to your game guidelines... WE PLAY DAILY!  ;D

I wish freelancing wasn't frowned upon (misunderstood/underrated/whtahaveyou) so much by so many "willing and would be employers" in Mexico or generally the world---or the earlier generations: "But seriously, when are you going to get a REAL job?"  :'(

Yeh, guys... I'm a bit sad today and the constant rain isn't helping, either.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Daedalus on September 15, 2009, 07:09:55 PM

I wish freelancing wasn't frowned upon (misunderstood/underrated/whtahaveyou) so much by so many "willing and would be employers" in Mexico or generally the world---or the earlier generations: "But seriously, when are you going to get a REAL job?"  :'


Granted, but now when filling out job applications you have to place every temp and part-time job you ever had, lest you face the wrath of the Department of Labor!

I wish that time spent running and organizing games was something you could put on your resume!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 15, 2009, 07:45:02 PM
Granted, providing you're applying for a job in a gaming field.

I wish I could make money by reading books I'd read anyway.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on September 15, 2009, 08:30:30 PM
I wish I could make money by reading books I'd read anyway.

Granted, but you have to real all the books you didn't enjoy, thousands of times, and the money is terrible.

I wish my players would read my race outlines, and realise my campaign world isn't precisely what they want the world to be, rather then bitching that "oh so you don't have real dwarves in your world*" and other endlessly annoying things.


*Yes a real complaint from a player, as my dwarves are modelled of 8th century scandinavians, rather then some generic 2 dimensional miners with no personality and a scottish accent.  That was after complaining that every race isn't given "common" as a language.  God I hate what DnD has done to fantasy players.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on September 15, 2009, 09:33:31 PM
I wish I could make money by reading books I'd read anyway.

Granted, but you have to real all the books you didn't enjoy, thousands of times, and the money is terrible.

I wish my players would read my race outlines, and realise my campaign world isn't precisely what they want the world to be, rather then bitching that "oh so you don't have real dwarves in your world*" and other endlessly annoying things.


*Yes a real complaint from a player, as my dwarves are modelled of 8th century scandinavians, rather then some generic 2 dimensional miners with no personality and a scottish accent.  That was after complaining that every race isn't given "common" as a language.  God I hate what DnD has done to fantasy players.
Granted! They decide to play a Hamtaro RPG instead. Your character has a white stripe down the middle of his nose.

(http://www.radnet.fm/images/blog_imgs/fulls/hamtaro-20080729143012.jpg)

I wish I didn't know what Hamtaro was....

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on September 15, 2009, 09:35:57 PM
granted, your entire tv watching history has been wiped out, its the only way to be sure.

i wish i could get taylor swift out of my head.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Daedalus on September 18, 2009, 12:30:10 AM
Granted.  Kanye West is now in your head, reminding you that Beyonce has provided you with some of the best thoughts ever.

I wish that my girlfriend's cats didn't try to eat everything.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on September 18, 2009, 01:14:50 AM
Granted. They no longer try. They just do.

I wish for... something.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 18, 2009, 01:22:15 AM
Granted. They no longer try. They just do.

I wish for... something.

Granted. Unfortunately, you don't get Something for Nothing. You lose a spleen and gain an extra liver.

I wish I had Somebody to Love....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on September 18, 2009, 03:29:16 AM
I wish I had Somebody to Love....

Granted! Enjoy loving an unwashed 300lb gothapotamus that weeps constantly when she isn't sitting on your face.

I wish that people were nicer to each other.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on September 18, 2009, 03:39:53 AM
I wish that people were nicer to each other.

Granted!  Everyone begins treating each other with much more love and respect.  Soon, and era of trust begins and world peace is achieved.  With no more wars, armies are soon disbanded.  Which is unfortunate, as no one is prepared when the alien invasion force lands on Earth and subjugates the entire planet and populace.

...on that note, I wish I had an alien invasion force at my command and a planet with no armies that I could take over.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: meadicus on September 18, 2009, 04:45:36 AM
...on that note, I wish I had an alien invasion force at my command and a planet with no armies that I could take over.

Granted, the planet for Peaceonia is now held under the martial law of your unstopable epic scale invasion fleet. However it turns out that the deity the people of Peaceonia worship is not only very real but also very proactive. He smites you and everyone you've ever met out of this existance and into a hell of eternal torment.

I wish I had an additian 200 days of annual paid-holiday.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on September 18, 2009, 05:20:10 AM
Granted! The other 165 days you are vivisected as a practise dummy by overambitious medical students. Without anasthetic. And you miraculously survive each time - although not completely intact. Enjoy.

I wish that our school could afford security guards and a knife arch.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on September 18, 2009, 07:07:20 AM
I wish that our school could afford security guards and a knife arch.
Granted!  The budgets for art, music, gym, and half the science labs are shifted to pay for it.  Criminally minded students pass knives and such through fire escapes and stash them around the school, crime is unaffected.

I wish it was as easy for me to make money in reality as it is in those dumb Facebook games.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on September 18, 2009, 07:11:54 AM
I wish it was as easy for me to make money in reality as it is in those dumb Facebook games.

Granted! You make a fine hitman for 3 weeks, then you are killed in a shootout with the police and national guard in which your whole neighbourhood is razed to the ground.

I wish I was omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, yet I still retain a finely-honed malicious streak.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 18, 2009, 11:41:05 AM
I wish it was as easy for me to make money in reality as it is in those dumb Facebook games.

Granted! You make a fine hitman for 3 weeks, then you are killed in a shootout with the police and national guard in which your whole neighbourhood is razed to the ground.

I wish I was omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, yet I still retain a finely-honed malicious streak.

Granted. Unfortunately, omniscience is REALLY FREAKING BORING.

I wish working in another country didn't require so much gorram paperwork...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on September 18, 2009, 03:43:08 PM
Granted! You are kidnapped and forced into slave labor in Gommorahstan, which has no U.S. Embassy. You are forced to paint D&D miniatures in a poorly lit and heated barn for 16 hours a day, but at least you working in a foreign country and have job security.

I wish that I had a friendly and useful household robot.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 18, 2009, 04:41:04 PM
Granted. Hope you enjoy your new Roomba. (Who says Roomba's aren't friendly?)

I wish I could go back in time to set right what once went wrong.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on September 18, 2009, 06:59:10 PM
Granted!

Everything that was once wrong is corrected. Yet, the natural outcome of those once-wrong-now-right things still end in something bad or counterproductive. Enjoy a whole new level of suckiness fueled by good intentions and careful repair!

I wish there actually were people with two livers!  ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 18, 2009, 10:05:26 PM
Granted. It's a genetic abnormality, and the extra liver takes up so much space in their abdominal cavity that they tend to die due to complications before the age of 12.

I wish I never had to sleep, but still could when I wanted to.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on September 18, 2009, 11:44:57 PM
I wish I never had to sleep, but still could when I wanted to.

Granted, but as a genetic anomaly you spend your life under study inside a small padded room with a one way window.  Protesters try to picket for your freedom, but ultimately the argument "All humans need sleep, Agent 333 does not need sleep, therefore Agent 333 is not human" holds up in court and means you are no longer covered under any of the human rights clauses.  Here's hoping PETA manages to come to your rescue.

I wish I knew a wish I could make that was incorruptible.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on September 19, 2009, 12:46:38 AM
I wish I never had to sleep, but still could when I wanted to.

Granted, but as a genetic anomaly you spend your life under study inside a small padded room with a one way window.  Protesters try to picket for your freedom, but ultimately the argument "All humans need sleep, Agent 333 does not need sleep, therefore Agent 333 is not human" holds up in court and means you are no longer covered under any of the human rights clauses.  Here's hoping PETA manages to come to your rescue.

I wish I knew a wish I could make that was incorruptible.

Granted. The phrase "I wish this wish were not corrupted." pops into your head.

I wish I could write as well as I think I can.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on September 19, 2009, 03:06:28 AM
I wish I could write as well as I think I can.

Granted! Unfortunately everyone still thinks you suck. Enjoy being a misunderstood genius.

I wish I could arrive at the garage in an hour and find that my car had passed its MOT...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on September 27, 2009, 09:40:27 PM
Granted! It has passed the Museum of Transportation, and was last seen going to a drive-in theater showing of Christine. Hope you like Rock 'n' Roll.

I wish that I had been more careful with that X-Acto knife....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 01, 2009, 01:42:38 AM
Granted! Unfortunately, you were less careful when eating a steak dinner later that night...

I wish I had income.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on October 01, 2009, 02:41:40 AM
Granted! You get paid a cent a day.

I wish that Kanye West would get struck by lightning.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 01, 2009, 04:30:59 AM
Granted! The lightning triggers his latent mutant genes, giving him super-powers. He then becomes a super-villain and goes on a rampage.

I wish that each day I was paid twice as much as the last day.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: aegis on October 01, 2009, 05:14:00 AM
Granted, but 0 times 2 times 2 times 2 is still equal to 0.

I wish I had 30 hours-long days.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dhampire on October 01, 2009, 06:48:22 AM
Granted!  You now perceive time at 80% of normal.  Have fun re-learning to do everything, from talking to walking.

I wish all my debt was wiped clean.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on October 01, 2009, 09:45:02 AM
Granted! It is - you're dead, and so are all of your heirs and relatives.

I wish white wolf had finished Trinty in print.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: aegis on October 01, 2009, 10:42:05 AM
Granted. They did. They also finished American Idol RPG just after that. It's the end of the world.

I wish Fantasy Craft would be released in French tomorrow. :)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Daedalus on October 02, 2009, 01:38:29 AM
Granted!  But the translation team was a bunch of French language undergrads from the U.S., and made those common first-year mistakes (poisson = poison, chateau = chapeau) that drive native speakers mad with rage.

I wish that my campaign idea was fully fleshed out.

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 02, 2009, 11:30:54 AM
Granted. Once given flesh, it runs amok and destroys your home.

I wish I were a famous game designer.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dhampire on October 03, 2009, 12:15:58 PM
Granted.  Your game is published, and is widely known as being the most vile and hated game.  Both gamers and the masses hate it so much that you are murdered.

I wish I had the time and resources needed to run as many, good RPGs as I would like.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 03, 2009, 01:20:40 PM
Granted. However, you lose your knack for running RPGs, and are now such a bad GM nobody ever wants to game with you, ever.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on October 03, 2009, 01:27:11 PM
I wish that Agent 333 had remembered to make a wish. :P

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 03, 2009, 01:49:32 PM
I wish there was a cheap, efficient method of producing electric light that didn't expire.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on October 03, 2009, 09:45:58 PM
Granted! In the words of the creator, as his everlasting electric light ignited: 'Aiieeeee! It Burns, it burns! Make it stop! Please God! Make it stop!'

Too bad you did not hear his testimonial before hitting the shiny red button on your own unit.

I wish I had a cybernetic replacement body ready for when my old body gets old and worn.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on October 03, 2009, 09:48:53 PM
granted
(http://blogs.govexec.com/fedblog/images/wall-e.jpg)

i wish i could get my hands on the full game of brutal legend for 10 minutes
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 03, 2009, 10:46:47 PM
Granted. Your hands are transported to the nearest copy of Brutal Legend for the next 10 minutes. You don't know where they end up after that...

I wish I could break the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on October 03, 2009, 10:52:39 PM
I wish I could break the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Granted, but someone else patents your plan, gets published first, and gets all the credit for your fantastic achievement.  You try to claim it was your plan, but end up looking like a crazy glory hount.

I wish I knew now everything I'll know when I finish uni.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 03, 2009, 11:02:41 PM
I wish I could break the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Granted, but someone else patents your plan, gets published first, and gets all the credit for your fantastic achievement.  You try to claim it was your plan, but end up looking like a crazy glory hount.

I wish I knew now everything I'll know when I finish uni.

(Honestly, as long as it gets broken I don't care who gets the credit.)

Granted. You're expelled, and no school will take you. You've finished uni!

I wish I could solve a 4x4x4 Rubik's Cube without cheating.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on October 04, 2009, 09:35:31 AM
Granted!

You solve the mystery cube just to find out it really holds the key to opening a gate to the Dungeon Dimensions. These are filled with all those DnD4.e fans you just hate because of their body odour, juvenile humour, lack of social skills, lack of actual life outside the game, love for going on and on and on about the 14th level paladin, their character's pet...

Luv it, you cube-breaker you!

I wish there were more efficient ways of transportation across the globe.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on October 04, 2009, 04:05:10 PM
Granted! The Inter Continental Ballistic Travel Network means that traveling around the world is a matter of less than three hours!

Unfortunately somebody activates Bush's missile defense system, and discovers that the ICBTN missiles do have homing beacons, so the StA missiles can actually hit something for a change. Just in time for you and your family to be traveling in comfort on the ICBTN....

This one is more for my girlfriend, who feels that I have an unfair advantage.... I wish that I was ticklish. :P

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on October 05, 2009, 11:44:29 AM
Oooo...

She asked for it!

So, very, very granted! You are quite, quite ticklish.

Thing is... You are also quite pee-ish.

Have fun, you luvbeerds!


I wish there was wish machine connected to every fridge. Woot!
 ;D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 05, 2009, 03:22:18 PM
Oooo...

She asked for it!

So, very, very granted! You are quite, quite ticklish.

Thing is... You are also quite pee-ish.

Have fun, you luvbeerds!


I wish there was wish machine connected to every fridge. Woot!
 ;D

Granted. Fridges now cost $100,000,000,000,000,000,000. Now nobody can enjoy refrigerated food, you jerk.

I wish I had more to eat around the house...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on October 05, 2009, 03:29:13 PM
granted, but thanks to the new outraegeous price of refrigeration it all spoils after a day and you now have no money for new food

i wish i had a tardis
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on October 05, 2009, 06:55:06 PM
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted!
i wish i had a tardis
Granted! (Unfortunately you did not get the user's manual....)

I wish that there was a steampunk supplement for Fantasycraft!

The Auld Grump

*EDIT*
Oooo...

She asked for it!

So, very, very granted! You are quite, quite ticklish.

Thing is... You are also quite pee-ish.

Have fun, you luvbeerds!
I am forwarding this one to her.  :D
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on October 05, 2009, 08:15:45 PM
I wish that there was a steampunk supplement for Fantasycraft!

Granted, but it delays 10K Bullets further, putting its release at around 2012.  [I also wish there was a steampunk toolkit for FC.  I just want 10KB more atm.]

I wish I had a time dialation field [ala Stargate].
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 06, 2009, 01:35:16 AM
Granted. You are now a black hole.

I wish I had more ideas for wishes... I think I'm starting to repeat myself...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on October 06, 2009, 11:59:23 AM
I wish I had more ideas for wishes... I think I'm starting to repeat myself...

Granted. You now have the awesome power to steal other people's wishes ex ante, and now...

You wish you had a tardis!

D'oh!

;D

I wish for a really great, on-the-spot, innovative-yet-not-typical "Let's make it Hollynow rubbish" T.V. revival for The Man from U.N.C.L.E.


Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 06, 2009, 03:45:22 PM
Granted. You're the only one who watches it, and it's canceled two episodes in.

I wish I had players who wouldn't complain about every single rule they disagree with.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on October 06, 2009, 03:52:21 PM
Granted! Instead your players decide that World of Warcraft is more interesting than interacting with real people, and vanish from your table. They do invite you to join their guild at least.

I wish that NASA would get DSCOVR up and operational, and can the useless ISS.

The Auld Grump, or drop it on a certain Texas ranch....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on October 06, 2009, 04:16:19 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, while trying to bring the ISS into a controlled reentry, someone forgets to convert from imperial to metric and it crashes into your house.

I wish commercial space flight were viable.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Txabier_Arrizotegui on October 22, 2009, 05:15:57 PM
Granted.

You book yourself a whole flight, for friends family and people you really like as you just won THREE lotteries (who knew those "buy online sites" were legit and your combo hit the megamil jackpots in the U.K., the U.S. and Japan!).

All is great, the pilot's an ace, the drink and appetizers are fantastic, and Britney's performance was really something (she insisted on coming and payed for half the flight's cost just so she could finally beat Madonna at something).

Suddenly there's a tiny bump. Then a small one, then a not so small one and...

"Ladies, gentlemen, various MTVoids hangers-on that 'work for Brit'. We've been informed by NASA that... I know this sounds silly but, well... 'someone' was heard over the NAVCOM saying, and I quote:I wish NASA would ***garble, garble*** can the useless ISS... They all say he sounded like the Prez, so everybody was quick to respond.

Guess who's in the (un)controlled reentry trajectory?

Drinks are on me!"

I wish W*o*W players did not take themselves so seriously on the rag's articles and just spoke plain friggin' English!**

**Job, NDAs, don't ask... please.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on November 12, 2009, 10:35:12 AM
Granted! The WoW mag switches to normal English, unfortunately at the same time that 133+ Bc0ms 4merica's 0ffic1l 1anguage! Woot!!!!!1111 (Gods, I hate leet.)

I wish that I had a better laptop.

The Auld Grump, oh, I do, I really, really do....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on November 12, 2009, 10:37:47 AM
Granted! You do, and all the keys are in greek.

I wish that people would hurry up and post in the PbP...
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on November 12, 2009, 12:30:24 PM
I wish that people would hurry up and post in the PbP...
Granted!
They are typing leet using Grump's Greek keyboard.

I wish people would give up their delusions of governmental competence or benevolence.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on November 12, 2009, 01:36:58 PM
I wish that people would hurry up and post in the PbP...
Granted!
They are typing leet using Grump's Greek keyboard.

I wish people would give up their delusions of governmental competence or benevolence.
Granted! However they do not give up on their delusions of competent deity and religion.
Due to a clerical error Armageddon is accidentally begun, the world ends, but no one shows up to collect the souls of any of the faithful.

The Auld Grump, who wishes those AD 2012 idiots would learn that the Mayan calendar had already ended multiple times, ending in a big party, not the end of the world....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on December 13, 2009, 12:30:21 PM
The Auld Grump, who wishes those AD 2012 idiots would learn that the Mayan calendar had already ended multiple times, ending in a big party, not the end of the world....
Granted!  Too bad this time the party does fatally wound most civilizations.

I wish I was rich enough to be "eccentric" instead of "crazy."
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on December 13, 2009, 03:56:47 PM
Granted! But the courts decide that, whether you are crazy or eccentric, you really need to be locked up. Fortunately Arkham Asylum has a room available, but you don't like the way your bunkmate keeps smiling all the time.

I wish that I had the land and income to have something like this as a home -
(http://www.castlemagic.com/images/castlepicture.jpg)

The folks at Castle Magic (http://www.castlemagic.com/color.html) are eccentric, not crazy....

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 05, 2010, 12:34:47 PM
C'mon somebody make a wish! I wanna wish for an octopus!

The Auld Grump :P
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 05, 2010, 12:54:18 PM
I wish that I had the land and income to have something like this as a home...
Granted!  Unfortunately it is 873 and the peasants are restless, pitchfork and torch restless.

I wish our two bunnies go along.  :(

[And with the Joker as a roommate, I wouldn't be in long.  ;D ]
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 05, 2010, 01:02:48 PM
Granted! However you soon discover that the misnamed George is now supplying you with an endless stream of new bunnies. Carnivorous bunnies, with long, pointy teeth! Look at the bones!

I wish that I had an octopus!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 05, 2010, 08:40:17 PM
Granted. You now own a giant octopus, but you spend 100% of your income maintaining its tank and feeding it.

I wish I had gone to college for teaching instead of computer science.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on April 06, 2010, 05:37:16 AM
Granted.

Unfortunately to get extra credit you participated in Psych department experiments that left you with a crippling fear of anything used to randomly determine an outcome, including coins.

I wish The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Eli Stone had both gone to a third season.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dhampire on April 06, 2010, 06:03:02 AM
Granted.

However, The Sarah Connor Chronicles going to a third season inspires a future Electrical Engineer to develop AI under the name CyberDyne, gets linked to SkyNet, and causes Judgement Day to happen.

I wish The Highlander franchise would end.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on April 06, 2010, 06:09:15 AM
I wish The Highlander franchise would end.

I honestly hadn't realised it hadn't.  Either way:

Granted - In memory of it's ending, all the cinemas where you live hold Highlander movie marathons, and people go around talking with bad scottish accents, and speaking entirely in film quotes, in honour of the great franchises passing.  People endlessly pester you, wanting to know which one was your favourite.

I wish I could figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 06, 2010, 09:54:42 AM
I wish I could figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Granted! You decide that spraying the pubic hair onto cheap inflatable sex dolls sounds like a pretty sweet career...

I wish that people didn't keep remaking movies.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 06, 2010, 03:34:42 PM
Granted! However they then realize that they have completely run out of new ideas. The lack of imagination spreads, until the only entertainment choices are sports and reality TV.

I wish that my girlfriend thought I had knees suitable for wearing a kilt.

The Auld Grump, it's a sad day when your girl says you don't have the knees for a kilt.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dhampire on April 06, 2010, 06:22:24 PM
I wish The Highlander franchise would end.
I honestly hadn't realized it hadn't.

FYI:
There's: 5 movies, 2 live-action series, 1 animated series (all, which I've seen)
And there's also: 1 remake/reboot movie in the works, 1 anime, and others
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highlander_(franchise) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highlander_(franchise))
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Gentry on April 06, 2010, 06:39:20 PM
A Highlander reboot! Agh! Sign of the apocalypse number 53!
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on April 06, 2010, 10:45:21 PM
There can never be only 1.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 08, 2010, 08:45:08 PM
Granted! However they then realize that they have completely run out of new ideas. The lack of imagination spreads, until the only entertainment choices are sports and reality TV.

I wish that my girlfriend thought I had knees suitable for wearing a kilt.

The Auld Grump, it's a sad day when your girl says you don't have the knees for a kilt.

Granted. However, she likes it so much she forces you to wear kilts 24/7/365.

I wish I had enough tutoring students that I didn't need a real job.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 10, 2010, 04:44:22 PM
Granted. However, she likes it so much she forces you to wear kilts 24/7/365.

I wish I had enough tutoring students that I didn't need a real job.

Granted. However you only get enough money to barely get by, and are forced to live the rest of your life in your parents basement

I wish i didn't live in such a tiny apartment.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 11, 2010, 01:45:09 AM
I wish i didn't live in such a tiny apartment.

Granted! You live in a nice, big, spacious alleyway.

I wish that Michael Bay and Uwe Boll had a fight to the death, with the winner being gutted by wild boars and fed to stray cats.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on April 11, 2010, 02:44:19 AM
Granted. Sadly, the fight epitomises the tagline from AVP and the winner gets commissioned to direct even more films, including the filmed adaption of the Shadowforce Archer setting.

I wish I could be granted a wish that couldn't be corrupted.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 11, 2010, 03:32:59 AM
I wish I could be granted a wish that couldn't be corrupted.

Granted! Your wish to be buggered to death by a herd of horny bulls comes true. Over three agonizing days.

I wish that people would stop bagging on the movie 'Stealth'.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on April 11, 2010, 05:10:36 AM
Granted. They start pissing all over it instead.

I wish I knew why engines of exactly the same performance details made by different companies sound different.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: aegis on April 11, 2010, 06:52:48 AM
Granted! And now, you can't stop explaining exactly why to everyone who asks - or not for that matters. Your social life ends rapidly.

I wish I hadn't attempted to play Scion: Hero.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on April 11, 2010, 07:19:53 AM
I wish I hadn't attempted to play Scion: Hero.

Granted.  Instead you attempted to write your own system from the ground up.  You spend the next 10 years meticulously developing it, only to have it be recieved extremely poorly by the community.

I wish that I didn't have to write a friggen blog for every one of my uni courses this semester.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 11, 2010, 09:39:41 AM
Granted.  Instead you attempted to write your own system from the ground up.  You spend the next 10 years meticulously developing it, only to have it be recieved extremely poorly by the community.

I wish that I didn't have to write a friggen blog for every one of my uni courses this semester.

Granted, Instead you must do it via chain e-mails.  Subsequently all of your friends family and co-workers begin to consider any email you send as spam.

I wish i had unlimited funds to buy all the computer parts and gadgets I want.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 11, 2010, 10:30:08 AM
I wish i had unlimited funds to buy all the computer parts and gadgets I want.

Granted! Your spending spree caused the global recession. Nice one.

I wish that I could find a brand of cheap disposible razors that shave my head well, but don''t damage my scalp in any way.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Mister Andersen on April 11, 2010, 10:41:17 AM
Granted. You find the razor, only to discover that it's the last one ever made as the company that created it went out of business years ago.

I wish something really horrible happens to the next person to grant a wish in this thread, the consequences of which cannot in any way or form lead back to me.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 11, 2010, 01:26:54 PM
Granted. You find the razor, only to discover that it's the last one ever made as the company that created it went out of business years ago.

I wish something really horrible happens to the next person to grant a wish in this thread, the consequences of which cannot in any way or form lead back to me.


Granted. Unfortunately it was all just a dream, you wake up in an insane asylum, and you are also now a eunuch.  

I wish good to come to all who visit the crafy forums.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 11, 2010, 11:13:48 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, right before it's granted, you get banned.

I wish I could sleep until I wake up naturally every night.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on April 11, 2010, 11:24:56 PM
granted, welcome to insomnia

i wish that i could stop looking at this thread periodically, i have a much easier time coming up with a response than i do a wish.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 12, 2010, 11:32:52 AM
granted, welcome to insomnia

i wish that i could stop looking at this thread periodically, i have a much easier time coming up with a response than i do a wish.

HAH! I've had insomnia since I can remember, nice job.

Granted, you lose all access to the internet. You can therefore no longer look at this thread ever.

I wish my cold would go away.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on April 12, 2010, 12:43:25 PM
Granted.

It leaves a nice case of viral pnuemonia as a parting gift.

I wish I had a wish to go here.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 12, 2010, 03:46:36 PM
Granted! You come up with the wish that never ends. It just goes on and on my friend. Somebody started wishing it, not knowing what it was, they'll keep on wishing it forever, just because, this is the wish that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend....

I wish my girlfriend was here, so I could share the chocolate (recycled Easter bunnies) and strawberries with her.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 21, 2010, 12:30:14 AM
Granted! After you're done sharing with her, she dumps you.

I wish that the summer holidays were here already.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 21, 2010, 03:20:07 AM
I wish that the summer holidays were here already.
Granted!  But thanks to climate change, during your summer holidays, it snows.

I wish New Jersey didn't suck.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 21, 2010, 03:42:38 AM
Granted!  But thanks to climate change, during your summer holidays, it snows.

I wish New Jersey didn't suck.

Granted. It blows(and smells).

I wish upon a shooting star.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 21, 2010, 07:07:36 AM
Granted. It blows(and smells).

I wish upon a shooting star.
But it already does those.  :(

Granted!  Said "star" lands on your foot, then the wish is corrupted like all the wishes wished here.   :P

I wish I could have a good breakfast most mornings.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on April 21, 2010, 07:38:00 AM
I wish I could have a good breakfast most mornings.

Granted.  You are now late most mornings.

I wish I could get wealthy doing what I love.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 21, 2010, 09:47:14 AM

Granted.  You are now late most mornings.

I wish I could get wealthy doing what I love.
Granted, unfortunately you get involved in a sex scandal, get sued for more than you are worth. You are forced to file for bankruptcy and you reputation is ruined.

I wish you hadn't said that.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 21, 2010, 09:49:25 AM

Granted.  You are now late most mornings.

I wish I could get wealthy doing what I love.
Granted, unfortunately you get involved in a sex scandal, get sued for more than you are worth. You are forced to file for bankruptcy and you reputation is ruined.

I wish you hadn't said that.

Granted. He typed it.

I wish had a more varied diet.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MordOptiMax on April 21, 2010, 10:01:34 AM

Granted. He typed it.

I wish had a more varied diet.

Granted, bon appetit! 150 flavors
http://www.crayolastore.com/product_detail.asp?T1=CRA+52-0029LCC (http://www.crayolastore.com/product_detail.asp?T1=CRA+52-0029LCC)
My favorite one is asparagus.

I wish for a fish on a dish.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 21, 2010, 10:33:06 AM
I wish for a fish on a dish.
Granted!  Enjoy your blobfish (http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/september2009/blobfish).
(http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/files/news/images/blobfish.jpg)

I wish they hadn't burnt my gumbo.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Bill Whitmore on April 21, 2010, 11:17:12 AM
I wish for a fish on a dish.
Granted!  Enjoy your blobfish (http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/september2009/blobfish).
(http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/files/news/images/blobfish.jpg)

I wish they hadn't burnt my gumbo.

Granted.  Instead they burned down the building and you barely escaped, badly burned.  In the aftermath, through some miracle of divine intervention, your perfect, unburnt gumbo still sat on a table...which was shared amongst the fire fighters while you watched from the back of an ambulance.

I wish the Sharks would win the Stanley Cup this year.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 21, 2010, 05:31:21 PM
Would you be wanting your wish granted then? Sure, don't they win the Cup, and isn't it because of a terrible disaster that kills every member of every other team, including their wives, their children, and even their pets?

Now wouldn't the Auld Grump be wishing that he could master the fading Irish custom of the making of statements by means of questions? And of the approach to things at an oblique angle, instead of rudely meeting them with statements most direct?

But wouldn't this be more of a habit of the Kerrymen, than the Grump's ancestral Ulster?

The Auld Grump, now wouldn't you know?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on April 22, 2010, 12:44:06 PM
Granted... I think. However, your new mannerisms annoy the crap out of everyone, and all your friends and family stop talking to you.

I wish my skin were clearer.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 22, 2010, 01:14:19 PM
I wish my skin were clearer.
Granted!  Transparent is clear-er right?  A sunburn on your skin is bad, but a sunburn on muscle is so much worse, and then there is the "fun" of trying to sleep with transparent eyelids.  At least you don't need goggles at the pool.

I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: OverNinja on April 22, 2010, 01:30:06 PM
I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.

Granted. You'll end up in jail for it, 25 to Life on Federal charges.

I wish I knew where the Hot/Cold Gel pack is.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 22, 2010, 07:22:54 PM
I wish my work week was more lucrative and less time consuming.
Granted. You'll end up in jail for it, 25 to Life on Federal charges.
I'm not pulling a Bernie Madoff and running a Social Security imitation.  :P

I wish I knew where the Hot/Cold Gel pack is.
It's at the drug store.  The one that is closed until I leave Club Fed.   :P

I wish to be well rested when it is time to get up and go to work.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 23, 2010, 05:56:22 AM
Granted! Unfortunately the mercury and arsenic aren't very good for you. But hey, at least your diet is varied... until you die.

I wish that something good happens to the person who replies to this post, with no negative consequences for me.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on April 23, 2010, 06:33:04 AM
I wish that something good happens to the person who replies to this post, with no negative consequences for me.
Woo hoo!

Your attempt to thwart the spirit of the wishes does not pass unnoticed:  One of your toes goes missing during a memorable mishap involving the Swedish womens beach volleyball team, the Dallas Cowgirls, and three declawed cats.

I Pennsylvania's blue laws were replaced with something reasonable.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 23, 2010, 06:48:33 AM
Granted! They are, but then the overzealous religious fundamentalists riot, take over the country, and reinstate them with even harsher restrictions.

I wish that I could slay at will, with a glance.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 23, 2010, 10:11:16 PM
Granted! You discover your power while shaving the morning after the night before, take one look at your bloodshot eyes in the mirror, clutch your head, and say: 'Argh, blimey! I wish I was dead!'

I wish that I could convince some of my players to help me build terrain!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on April 24, 2010, 12:41:22 AM
Granted! Unfortunately the earthworks in your front yard violate several zoning laws, and you are arrested and sent to prison.

I wish that St George's Day was a national holiday.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on April 24, 2010, 01:24:25 AM
Granted! Unfortunately the earthworks in your front yard violate several zoning laws, and you are arrested and sent to prison.

I wish that St George's Day was a national holiday.
Granted! But the dragons burn the nation to the ground in protest.

I wish I could remember the title of that book I liked. You know, the one with the author, and the cover? Where the main character was this guy who did this thing with that stuff? And he had a girl who did this other thing, and found that whatsit?

The Auld Grump, and the picture of the writer on the back?
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on May 03, 2010, 05:15:34 PM
I wish I could remember the title of that book I liked. You know, the one with the author, and the cover? Where the main character was this guy who did this thing with that stuff? And he had a girl who did this other thing, and found that whatsit?

The Auld Grump, and the picture of the writer on the back?

Granted, but you realise upon rereading it that it is nowhere near as good as you first thought, and have now paid way more then you should have for it on ebay.

I wish that something nice would happen to the person who responds to this post.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 03, 2010, 05:47:13 PM
Granted! I find the winning lottery ticket lying in the street, and cash it in for several million dollars.
Everyone who read your post without responding keels over dead from shock when they hear of my good fortune!

I wish I knew where to spend the 16.4 million dollars I just won by finding that ticket....
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on May 04, 2010, 07:47:12 AM
I wish I knew where to spend the 16.4 million dollars I just won by finding that ticket....

Granted, you remember a few posts ago where you wished you could aford something from Castle Magic (http://www.castlemagic.com/color.html), well now you can.  Unfortunately, you find out after paying for it that it has a morlocks.

I wish I was the worlds greatest illusionist.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 04, 2010, 03:17:25 PM
I wish I knew where to spend the 16.4 million dollars I just won by finding that ticket....

Granted, you remember a few posts ago where you wished you could aford something from Castle Magic (http://www.castlemagic.com/color.html), well now you can.  Unfortunately, you find out after paying for it that it has a morlocks.
Trying to think of a downside to that one....
Quote
I wish I was the worlds greatest illusionist.
Granted! You become the world's greatest Zen illusionist, and prove to everyone that they were just a trick done with mirrors. Everything and everyone disappears in the absence of maya.

I wish that I was one of the playtesters for Fallout: New Vegas.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on May 04, 2010, 08:46:50 PM
I wish that I was one of the playtesters for Fallout: New Vegas.

You know what that involves right?  You have to play through small seconds hundreds of times over, directly booting said sections, which means they aren't put into context properly.  Enjoy taking the new version of the GOAT over 200 times [some kind of psychological profile thing apparently] and then immediately checking that a quest that you didn't get to do rewards the player correctly.  [Honestly, it's a way less fun job then it sounds]

I wish I could survive a zombie apocolypse that happens at 2pm AEST today.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 13, 2010, 02:47:16 AM
Granted! No-one else survives. You're alone for the rest of your natural life.

I wish that I had a cup of tea right now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 13, 2010, 06:16:31 AM
I wish that I had a cup of tea right now.
Granted!  Too bad the leaves were added last week and are still in there...

I wish I had a slightly longer attention span. 
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: @stroVal on May 14, 2010, 11:19:12 AM
I wish that I had a cup of tea right now.
Granted!  Too bad the leaves were added last week and are still in there...

I wish I had a slightly longer attention span. 
Granted! But now that you do pay attention you realize how predictable,dull and moronic humanity really is.
I wish this game would end...(with a bang)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 14, 2010, 01:24:47 PM
Granted! You shoot yourself. The game is over - for you!

I wish that my friends were here already.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 15, 2010, 04:35:07 AM
Granted! You shoot yourself. The game is over - for you!

I wish that my friends were here already.
Granted! But the fit is tight inside of a handbasket, and you have no idea where you are going....

I wish I could get rid of this cold.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Dhampire on May 15, 2010, 06:19:03 AM
Gratned!  But, that cold was keeping your immune system up.  You now catch Herpagonasyphilaids.

I wish I had better storytelling ability.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: foproy on May 19, 2010, 10:21:04 PM
granted, though when you finally write something truly great though it happens while on vacation and after someone very dear to you vanishes. you wake up a week later remember nothing and now some strange dark presence is chasing you taking over locals and in general making life very difficult for them, and you very dead.

i wish i could quit playing alan wake.
(btw i have not actually completed the game the very dead at the end of that was in no way related to the game, but instead inserted for dramatic purposes only.)
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 21, 2010, 01:49:45 AM
i wish i could quit playing alan wake

Granted! In a gaming-related explosion your arms and legs are blown off, and you go blind. On the plus side, you quit playing alan wake.

I wish that my stupid year 11s had finished their coursework on time.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: MilitiaJim on May 21, 2010, 05:37:38 AM
I wish that my stupid year 11s had finished their coursework on time.
Granted!  And it is even worse than usual.

I wish I knew then what I know now.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Agent 333 on May 21, 2010, 09:26:46 AM
I wish that my stupid year 11s had finished their coursework on time.
Granted!  And it is even worse than usual.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

Granted. You invent a time machine and send your younger self back information from the future. One damned Butterfly Effect later and Stupid Jetpack Hitler's brain in a jar rules the world.

I wish I could get back all the time I've wasted on TVTropes.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on May 21, 2010, 09:39:40 AM
Granted, you choose to waste it on Encyclopedia Dramatica instead.

I wish I was a better person.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: @stroVal on May 21, 2010, 12:18:46 PM
Granted!Not only do you become a better person but you attain sainthood<not based on any facts,real persons and/or  laws of physics>...People are so annoyed that you are such a goody- two-shoes and genuinely selfless frood that they nail you to a tree(like that other guy)...
I wish they would stop making emo-bisexual-vampire films

Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: glimmerrat on May 21, 2010, 11:28:35 PM
Granted! They make emo bisexual werewolf films instead.

I wish music wasn't such a crappy mess these days.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: TheAuldGrump on May 25, 2010, 12:48:08 AM
Granted! You discover that music has always been a crappy mess, since first Ogg started banging rocks together.

I wish that I knew what to get the Morlocks living in my basement for a housewarming gift....

The Auld Grump, in my castle stronghold on Mount Katahdin.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Sletchman on May 25, 2010, 01:56:52 AM
I wish that I knew what to get the Morlocks living in my basement for a housewarming gift....

Granted.  You realise that Eloi meat would be the traditional gift, and through great expense [lucky you won that lottery] develop a time machine and finance a safari to capture a few, which is reasonably easy.  Unfortunately when you go to deliver it they mistake you for one of the Eloi, and you are eaten.  On the upside, they think your body was an excellent housewarming gift.


I wish I was a budgie, with a nice owner.
Title: Re: Corrupt a Wish Foundation
Post by: Krensky on May 27, 2010, 08:09:48 AM
I wish I was a budgie, with a nice owner.

Granted. Then they die. And their parents can't stand you. So they put you down. On ly, instead of hitting you with the book or shooting you just there above the beak, they flush you down the loo where you breed in the sewers with other flushed budgies, and eventually we get evil-smelling flocks of huge soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories infringing their personal freedom.


I wish i didn't know that sketch.