Crafty Games Forum

Community => License to Improvise => Topic started by: TheAuldGrump on July 08, 2007, 10:57:10 PM

Title: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 08, 2007, 10:57:10 PM
And before I go to sleep in my coffin own little bed, one last mumbling.

Places where you will never have an epic, climactic battle for a Spycraft campaign.

My entry: Lake Chargoggmaunchaugagoggchaubungungamaugg* near Webster, Massachusetts.

The Auld Grump "You fish on your side, I fish on my side, nobody fish in the middle"
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: MilitiaJim on July 11, 2007, 01:52:43 PM
The suburbs in general, and especially a mall.  A scene two running gun battle in the mall, but not the finale.  (Though I would throw in flame throwers and incendiary devices just because malls are hives of scum and villainy.)
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 11, 2007, 05:42:04 PM
Dull Center, Wyoming.
Boring, Maryland.

And some teams might find Whorehouse Meadows, Oregon a trifle distracting.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: ThunderMonkey on July 11, 2007, 05:46:57 PM
Blue Ball, Ark.

Don't laugh... I have family there.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: NezMaster on July 11, 2007, 06:22:56 PM
The mens room in Mike's Diner

Monkey's Eybrow Kentucky

A squeaky Duck Factory

George's basement



Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 11, 2007, 06:43:12 PM
Does anyone else remember the 'epic battle' that took place in an episode of The Avengers taking place in a comic book factory?

Bam!
Sock!
Pow! (with the signs being used as weapons...).

Another place to avoid - a battlefield covered with nettles and poison ivy.
Underwater chase scenes through jellyfish.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Toccata on July 11, 2007, 06:57:47 PM
Under the Cone of Silence  ;D
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: NezMaster on July 12, 2007, 12:39:47 AM
Under the Cone of Silence  ;D

Of course, seeing that post, and  this ---> http://youtube.com/watch?v=lNg7k4wqpeM (http://youtube.com/watch?v=lNg7k4wqpeM) on the same day, means I HAVE to put it here. Plus I'm all bouncy about it. Though Steve Carey is no Don Adams.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: spinningdice on July 12, 2007, 01:49:25 AM
I'd have to refute any claims to sleepy little villages after watching Hot Fuzz.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: OverNinja on July 12, 2007, 05:14:37 AM
Dildo, Newfoundland
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Antilles on July 12, 2007, 07:31:23 AM
Hell, Norway. Despite the name, it's really a sleepy little village... (note: that might or might not have any correlation with 'dice's post)
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: spinningdice on July 12, 2007, 07:39:15 AM
Did Hot Fuzz ever make it to America or is too British?

In a similar vein to Hell, I used to live near Great Heck & Little Heck, currently live near Nether-Thong.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Toccata on July 12, 2007, 03:09:25 PM
Did Hot Fuzz ever make it to America or is too British?

In a similar vein to Hell, I used to live near Great Heck & Little Heck, currently live near Nether-Thong.

Hot Fuzz was in the mainstream theaters for about a week around here, and recently it's shown up again in the local movie-theater-with-a-bar-and-pizza-place-in.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: RabidGerbil on July 12, 2007, 06:00:59 PM
At a polka dance convention, at a star wars convention or worst of all, at a gaming convention where Spycraft is being played. Every once in a while some movie or show decides to go meta and have their characters meet their "fans/impersonators...." Just say no.

As far as town names --

For the humorous: how 'bout Forks of Salmon, California?

For the anticlimactic: Climax (NC, PA, Saskatchewan - take your pick)

Incidentally, one of my favorite Spycraft DM's family has a house on lake Chargoggmaunchaugagoggchaubungungamaugg. No, I haven't played Spycraft there. Yet.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: foproy on July 12, 2007, 06:37:53 PM
Breeding Ky, or anywhere in eastern ky for that matter, thats deliverance country.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: spinningdice on July 13, 2007, 02:53:24 AM
I actually think that a convention or similar would be great for a scene. Trying to track down as suspect in a room full of cosplayers.
I agree that the cheesiness of meeting people cosplaying as the main character should be avoided however.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 13, 2007, 02:57:50 PM
I actually think that a convention or similar would be great for a scene. Trying to track down as suspect in a room full of cosplayers.
I agree that the cheesiness of meeting people cosplaying as the main character should be avoided however.
Which ends tragically when the heroes inhale.... :P

(Ah, the pong of Origins... how I miss you....)

The Auld Grump, who has heard that things are less aromatic of late, but....
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: MilitiaJim on July 17, 2007, 10:36:24 AM

Which ends tragically when the heroes inhale.... :P

(Ah, the pong of Origins... how I miss you....)

The Auld Grump, who has heard that things are less aromatic of late, but....

It is a good thing that many folks have achieved proficiency with the Kit, Personal Hygiene. 
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 18, 2007, 08:05:16 PM
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch) - Thanks to Arabin on the World Works forums, otherwise I would never have heard of the place. :P

The Auld Grump, who can actually pronounce that... slowly. :P
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Crafty_Alex on July 27, 2007, 10:56:39 AM
Places not to have epic battles:

In a geriatric ward. During quiet hours.
In an in-service ice cream truck.
In a loaded "short bus".
While all combatants are tied to chairs.
In a public restroom stall (just the stall).
In a duct.
In one of those inflatable castles kids jump around in at the fair.
Boring, Oregon.
In a cardboard recycling depot.
In a pillow warehouse.
At a puppy breeding farm.
Hip-deep in raw sewage.

Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Argonnite on July 27, 2007, 11:06:52 AM
In a sperm bank.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Black Cheese on July 27, 2007, 12:29:47 PM
Quote
In an in-service ice cream truck.

But this would be so… so… cool!

Quote
Hip-deep in raw sewage.

Unless it's against some sort of trash creature while the walls close in, you're right. Otherwise, it'd stink.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Crafty_Alex on July 27, 2007, 01:10:39 PM
*groan*

Ze puns, zey do NOZINK!
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 28, 2007, 01:09:34 PM
Places not to have epic battles:

While all combatants are tied to chairs.
Pretty sure I saw this on TV once - mind you it was a comedy/action show, but....

Quote
In one of those inflatable castles kids jump around in at the fair.
Don't know about that, sounds like it might be fun... (Hero) Have at thee! *Boing!* (VIllain) You'll never take me alive! *Boing!* (Hero) Surrender! I am between you and the door! *Boing!* (Villain) *Boing! *Backflip over Hero's head* *Boing* Away!

Quote
Hip-deep in raw sewage.
Done this one - 1880s, the sewers beneath Paris, not good for any concerned, but at least the guy with the flame thrower realized that using it would be a bad idea. :o

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: spinningdice on July 28, 2007, 01:29:26 PM
The bouncy castles reminds me vaguely of Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Mister Andersen on July 28, 2007, 07:38:49 PM
I can't hear the phrase "bouncey castle" and NOT think about the bit in the Doctor Who episode "New Earth" where Cassandra has taken over Rose's body...
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Crafty_Pat on July 30, 2007, 02:56:38 PM
Places not to have epic battles:

In a geriatric ward. During quiet hours.

I beg to differ.

"Bubbaaaaaaaaaa Hooooooootep!"

Quote
While all combatants are tied to chairs.

Report to Mr. Chan at once! He'll school you right. ;)

Quote
In one of those inflatable castles kids jump around in at the fair.

This is so going in one of my adventures. Hm... I'm writing that GenCon mission this week...  :P
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: waterdhavian on July 30, 2007, 07:41:08 PM
Slight thread Hijack, great film.  Hot Fuzz will be in my hands tomorrow on DVD!

I would love to play through a Hot Fuzz inspired game!  A shoot out in a grocery store is my top priority in my next spycraft game I run. 

On the subject of kiddie amusements how about an epic battle in one of those ball pools, with the millions of multicolored softball sized balls?   Or a Water Treatment plant(Raw Sewage Vats!)  Totally not dramatic a few miles outside of a small town in a corn field, led there by a low speed chase on a thrasher and tractor!
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Nepenthe on July 30, 2007, 09:39:27 PM
Slight thread Hijack, great film.  Hot Fuzz will be in my hands tomorrow on DVD!

I got it last week... It's worth the price just for the swan call thing early on... :D
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Bill Whitmore on July 30, 2007, 09:41:28 PM
On the subject of kiddie amusements how about an epic battle in one of those ball pools, with the millions of multicolored softball sized balls?

Oooh, and all of the black balls are actually filled with some kind of biological weapon, so the agents need to be careful about which balls they break.

This would be awesome.  How many other times would you be able to have control bellow "AGENTS! WE NEED YOU TO SECURE THOSE BALLS!" :)
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: foproy on July 30, 2007, 09:54:24 PM
i would be to tempted to say, "I WANT TO DIP MY BALLS IN IT", during that mission
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Nepenthe on July 30, 2007, 10:01:20 PM
On the subject of kiddie amusements how about an epic battle in one of those ball pools, with the millions of multicolored softball sized balls?

Oooh, and all of the black balls are actually filled with some kind of biological weapon, so the agents need to be careful about which balls they break.

This would be awesome.  How many other times would you be able to have control bellow "AGENTS! WE NEED YOU TO SECURE THOSE BALLS!" :)

Well, there's also the scenario where a bioweapon is being distributed through some salted nuts...  :-[
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Crafty_Alex on July 31, 2007, 07:41:18 AM
<Mr. T>"Get some NUTS!"</Mr. T>
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Mister Andersen on July 31, 2007, 07:44:40 AM
Quote from: Nepenthe
Well, there's also the scenario where a bioweapon is being distributed through some salty chocolate balls...

Changed that for you ;)
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Nepenthe on July 31, 2007, 11:08:08 AM
Quote from: Nepenthe
Well, there's also the scenario where a bioweapon is being distributed through some salty chocolate balls...

Changed that for you ;)

 :'(
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Gatac on July 31, 2007, 11:14:33 AM
I do believe Mr. Anderson means chocolate salted balls (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCVT9lDwPM4).

Gatac
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Morgenstern on July 31, 2007, 11:32:20 AM
Quote from: Nepenthe
Well, there's also the scenario where a bioweapon is being distributed through some salty chocolate balls...

Changed that for you ;)

I should note now that I do NOT aprove of editing other people's text within a quote box that attributes the modifed text to the original poster. It is a bad, bad habbit and should be avoided here. Removing the tag from the quote box that indicates another person as the author is sufficent to avoid this issue.

Thanks!
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Mister Andersen on July 31, 2007, 01:38:01 PM
Quote from: Nepenthe
:'(

Not meaning to diss your idea or anything. It was simply intended as a harmless pop cultural reference inspired by all the, ahem, ball-play.

 :-* :-*
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Morgenstern on July 31, 2007, 02:58:57 PM
I know. Hadn't mentioned it before, but it's a pattern of forumn interaction I heartily dislike - literally putting words in other folks mouths. Probably needs to go into FAQ.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on July 31, 2007, 07:23:18 PM
I know. Hadn't mentioned it before, but it's a pattern of forumn interaction I heartily dislike - literally putting words in other folks mouths. Probably needs to go into FAQ.

That is good to know, when I make such quotes in the future I will endeavor to make the 'quoted' name as farcical as the 'quote'.

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Nepenthe on August 01, 2007, 11:20:47 AM
I know. Hadn't mentioned it before, but it's a pattern of forumn interaction I heartily dislike - literally putting words in other folks mouths. Probably needs to go into FAQ.


Well, I've occasionally been guilty of it myself, so no hard feelings on my part, fwiw.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: ThunderMonkey on August 04, 2007, 09:19:31 AM
I know. Hadn't mentioned it before, but it's a pattern of forumn interaction I heartily dislike - literally putting words in other folks mouths. Probably needs to go into FAQ.


Unfortunately, that's part of my job description as a sports writer. Coaches and players give some really butchered quotes at times. My job is to make them sound intelligent and smart. Maybe I should go into speech writing.

It would explain why most High and Middle School coaches don't teach English. And to quote Holly (of "Red Dwarf" fame), "I got an IQ of 2,000. It's not much, it's only the combined IQ of 2,000 PE teachers."
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on August 04, 2007, 01:12:26 PM
A greasy hotel kitchen with dozens of fly strips hanging from the ceiling.  :o (Jump up on a table to kick the bad guy, and.... 'Oh my god! What have I got in my hair? Ewww!')

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Bill Whitmore on August 04, 2007, 05:24:03 PM
A greasy hotel kitchen with dozens of fly strips hanging from the ceiling.  :o (Jump up on a table to kick the bad guy, and.... 'Oh my god! What have I got in my hair? Ewww!')

The Auld Grump

HAHA! Shouldn't be a problem, you just need to start swinging the strips around as improvised weapons.

Fly Strip, - Damage, 1-3/20 E/T, FRG, HOK, IMP, SLA  :P
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on August 06, 2007, 08:01:59 PM
A greasy hotel kitchen with dozens of fly strips hanging from the ceiling.  :o (Jump up on a table to kick the bad guy, and.... 'Oh my god! What have I got in my hair? Ewww!')

The Auld Grump

HAHA! Shouldn't be a problem, you just need to start swinging the strips around as improvised weapons.

Fly Strip, - Damage, 1-3/20 E/T, FRG, HOK, IMP, SLA  :P
Heh, and following an activated Critical Failure: 'Oh my God! It's stuck to my hands, it's stuck to my hands! Ewww!' (Okay, so the character is easily disturbed.... :P )

The Auld Grump, a well used fly strip is pretty disgusting though!
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on August 09, 2007, 09:48:29 PM
Hmmm, the Bog of Eternal Stench (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TY8T9iTUxc) has already seen an epic battle (of sorts). (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQKzSQdc92c)

But I'd still avoid it!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: ThunderMonkey on August 10, 2007, 11:07:12 AM
A greasy hotel kitchen with dozens of fly strips hanging from the ceiling.  :o (Jump up on a table to kick the bad guy, and.... 'Oh my god! What have I got in my hair? Ewww!')

The Auld Grump

HAHA! Shouldn't be a problem, you just need to start swinging the strips around as improvised weapons.

Fly Strip, - Damage, 1-3/20 E/T, FRG, HOK, IMP, SLA  :P

It'll be most effective against Robin Williams or the Werewolf.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Bill Whitmore on August 10, 2007, 12:39:32 PM
It'll be most effective against Robin Williams or the Werewolf.

Dude, that is just evil.
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on August 13, 2007, 06:13:53 PM
A Lamaze class.

On a New York garbage barge

And a vehicle not to be used in any chase scenes....
(http://www.oih.rwth-aachen.de/~hendrik/bagger/432-10-bagger-228-auf-A61-18-02-2001-k.jpg)
Though it might be fun to have a chase scene on, rather than with....

The Auld Grump

Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: Bill Whitmore on August 13, 2007, 10:32:42 PM
And a vehicle not to be used in any chase scenes....

The NASA Crawler-Transporter (used to move the Space Shuttles to their launch sites) may also fall in that category.
(http://www.cdli.ca/CITE/crawler.gif)

Another view that shows the scale so much better (note the miniature people by the tracks)
(http://www.cdli.ca/CITE/shuttle_002_gif.gif)

There's a NASA video I saw a while back that shows this thing in action and it was featured in an episode of Dirty Jobs recently.  Beware, this thing can really book with a top speed of 1km/h (the crawler, not the shuttle).
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: TheAuldGrump on August 13, 2007, 10:58:59 PM
And a vehicle not to be used in any chase scenes....

The NASA Crawler-Transporter (used to move the Space Shuttles to their launch sites) may also fall in that category.
There's a NASA video I saw a while back that shows this thing in action and it was featured in an episode of Dirty Jobs recently.  Beware, this thing can really book with a top speed of 1km/h (the crawler, not the shuttle).
Yeah, the Bagger 288 that I had a picture for is the only vehicle larger than the Crawler Transporter. 240 m long and 96 m tall. On the other hand the Bagger moves at a whopping 10 meters a minute! I think that the Bagger and the crawler shared a manufacturer in common.

Big suckers!

The Auld Grump
Title: Re: Places Not to Have Epic Battles
Post by: ThunderMonkey on August 14, 2007, 05:23:43 AM
And a vehicle not to be used in any chase scenes....

The NASA Crawler-Transporter (used to move the Space Shuttles to their launch sites) may also fall in that category.

There's a NASA video I saw a while back that shows this thing in action and it was featured in an episode of Dirty Jobs recently.  Beware, this thing can really book with a top speed of 1km/h (the crawler, not the shuttle).

Or a steamroller...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2tI1RMbX0k